New age to Jesus

I ask you to release your burdens onto God because he does care!

Introduction

After spending a few years practicing witchcraft and new age spiritualism, it is not that I decided, but I was called by God to come back to him because he still loved me. I was very reluctant to because I enjoyed the freedom attached to my spiritual beliefs, but little did I know that was not freedom that I was experiencing... i was spiritually in bondage... until I found God...

Regardless of my blasphemous ways he never stopped loving me.

God knows my heart, he knows that I am a good-hearted individual who is going through spiritual turmoil due to abandoning him. Throughout those years of losing my faith I thought I gained freedom, then God reminded me that I had not. My soul was kept bondage by Satan...

The reckoning...

I once lost my faith in Christ due to my selfishness and impatience. Just to let you know, I was not really a good christian, although I did not do much worldly things such as drink, take drugs and have one night stands, I was not faithful to the Lord, I would lie and the only time I prayed or read the bible was when I wanted something. Anyways, I remember the moment vividly, I was in my bedroom and I was crying out to the Lord as I have been praying for something that I thought at the time was very important and when the time came for me to receive it, I didn't, so I became infuriated, stressed and hopeless. So, I cried out to the Lord and asked him why he did not give me what I was praying and fasting for, for several months. Shortly after my small tantrum, I just said "FUCK IT!" and I just felt as though I could no longer depend on the Lord... however, what struck me now is that we must not forget that everything works in God's timing and what is meant for you will come at the right time and if it does not come on time, do not be dismayed, for the Lord is building you up to become the best version of yourself, his intentions are to not harm us and I wish I knew this back then.

"For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end - it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay." - Habakkuk 2:3 ESV

I have been roaming on the internet and I came across a couple YouTuber's who made videos on spirituality and how the God of the bible is not real, and how men and woman are made equal and that we are God's. Which is insane because I didn't know how that makes sense, since we did not create the universe, however, the thought of being the creator of my own reality did make some sense to me at that time as I have previously manifested some of my thoughts and even managed to manifest a negative reality for myself from a very young age, for example, people's harsh words and insults would get to me and I start to feel just like the words they would throw back at me until I became a walking embodiment of their thoughts of me. I started to feel fat, ugly, unappreciated and unworthy to the point where I was called "fat" and "ugly" and made to feel unappreciated and unworthy for a decade on a regular basis. That all pretty much stopped once I almost slightly mastered the power of manifestation whilst on my spiritual journey. I started to believe that I was worthy, beautiful and attractive and that is exactly what I had manifested in my reality. People in public and even family/friends began to compliment me tons, the attention felt surreal.

Shortly after learning how to master the power of manifestations I became interested into working with crystals, which was unfortunately followed by spell casting, then tarot card readings...

In the moment, these all seemed as though they have provided a gate to something within the eyes of my ancestors, as if they were viewed as things that were honorable, because all I felt whilst practicing these rituals were a sense of freedom and sense of self... as if I had found my true self.

The incursion of the devil

I was not too deep into doing tarot card readings, I would do them to find out things from time to time e.g. how certain people I was dating truly felt about me, if I could trust this person and regarding any changes within my finances in the near future etc. I was also doing tarot card readings that were requested by friends/acquaintances. I really enjoyed it, however each time I shuffled the cards I felt a heavy presence behind and beside me. It didn't feel negative, neither did it feel positive. Fortunately, I stopped experiencing them after each tarot reading. I didn't think too deeply into it back then... but now I know that they were demons.

"When you come into the land that the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominable practices of those nations. There shall not be found among you... anyone who practices divination or tells fortunes or interprets omens, or a sorcerer or a charmer or a medium or a necromancer or one who inquires of the dead, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord. And because of these abominations the Lord your God is driving them out before you." - Deuteronomy 18:9-12 ESV

After going back to worshiping the Lord and repenting for my sins I had realized shortly after that, that these crystals, books based on spirituality, tarot cards or anything pertaining to spirituality were only a gateway for demons and any type of negative spirits to get into my personal space and invade it with fake beliefs, infiltrate my pineal gland with false beliefs and stir me further away from Jesus Christ.

They would taunt me. I would hear voices in my head as if they were mimicking me. I heard disturbing noises coming from my wardrobe. I saw dark figures standing in my door way. I saw bright flashing lights in the corner of my eyes. I even had dreams that seemed endless, these dreams would correlate a lot with aliens and witches... and one of the strangest dreams I had was a lucid dream, a dream where you are conscious of the fact that you are dreaming at that present moment.

A lot of these things that were discussed previously that I had experienced were things that I never experienced before (when I was Christian prior to the pitfall turning to new age). Hence, during my time as a Christian I had never experienced strange noises or anything pertaining to the supernatural.

My end goal :)

I've been on my journey of redemption for a couple months now and it feels so good, only because since I gave my life to Christ I felt as though a weight has been lifted and I no longer need to seek tranquilty or go on a journey to become more enlightened, I no longer need to do these things because once you give your life to God you're placing all your stress and anxieties on the lord. I feel relieved to know that my past mistakes no longer define me as I have given my life to Lord. The drunken nights, the one night stands, getting high off marijuana/LSD/ketamine, attending LGBTQ events with people of the world are things that I will no longer carry on into my new life, as long as Jesus is by my side I will prevail over my past wrongdoings and I will turn my back against evil.

"Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7 ESV

I understand that these things of the world feel good and you may feel free whilst doing that, but I've been there and done that, and although they feel good, they come with devastating consequences. The devil sends demons to distract us and make us give into sin. Have you ever found it difficult trying to give up something you use to do? If so, then that was because demons were tempting you. God never tempts us, but he will leave us to suffer so we can learn and become the best versions of ourselves, but he will never tempt us. God is love and that is why he sent his only son Jesus to live life in the flesh, then die for our sins because he sees that we do not know what we are doing that is why he begged for our heavenly father to forgive us. Please understand that nobody is perfect, we are all sinners regardless, even preachers. That is why Jesus made it easy for us to just simply repent for our sins, nothing more. On the other hand, Satan would not only entice you with sin because he wants you to be dragged down to hell with him, as for Satan himself would also be tortured in hell on the day of judgement and he does not want to be alone, even the demons know of the Lord Jesus Christ.

"You believe God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe - and shudder!" - James 2:19 ESV

Don't worry at all, you can still be saved if you ask God for repentance and accept Jesus as your Lord.

Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” - John 3:3 ESV

As for me... i aspire to no longer gratify the things of the flesh, the things that are of the world. I aspire to become the best Godly version of myself. I aspire to become a feminine lady in the Lord's eyes who is worthy enough to visit Jesus on his throne in heaven.

Everything that I have experienced whilst on my new age journey taught me that Satan is the father of lies and these spirits that I tried to conjure up did not give a damn about me. All it did was make me wanting more and more abundance and prosperity.

The spirit realm is very real and I experienced it. I probably had a poltergeist of demons in my wardrobe, I don't know, but all I know is that those noises that I use to hear are gone since I gave my life to Jesus... the thought of knowing that I experienced these things for years troubles me and I am ever so thankful to Jesus.

A prayer for you

Dear father in heaven, I pray that I do not fall onto the wide path towards hell, but remain on the narrow road towards paradise. Lord father please forgive those who are not abiding by the 10 commandments, as well as taking drugs, using foul language, being sexually immoral and just overall living a destructive life. Forgive them Lord for they do not know what they are doing, they have fallen short of your glory, however I pray that they rise above these worldly things and repent for their sins so they can rejoice in heaven for all eternity with our Lord Jesus. In Jesus name, amen.

This was my prayer for you. You are welcomed to use it for those who are stuck in their sinful ways and you would hope for them to change.

Here is a prayer for salvation...

Lord father please forgive me for sinning against you. Deliver me from my sinful past and restore me Lord father, with the blood of Jesus. I am aware that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and I am ready to begin or restart my walk with our Lord Jesus Christ. Help me to abstain from the devils deeds and no longer give into sin, that is not the life I would like to live anymore, but I would like to become a born again Christian and live for the Lord. Shield and protect me Lord from sinful desires and from the evil schemes of Satan and any negative entities. In Jesus name, amen.

Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it. Every second you spend reading my story means so much to me. I love you. God bless you.