Missing in Action
But does anyone even notice?
I know nobody asked for a life update, but sometimes I just need to get these thoughts in my head out so that they stop floating around and keeping me up at night... and boy have I been up at night.
I feel exhausted all the time and can't seem to find enough hours in the day to get everything done.. accompanied by not being able to sleep at night because my stupid brain NEVER SHUTS UP.
I don't even know how to say what I feel I need to say without sounding like "Poor me." because the last thing I ever want is pity. I'm just curious..
I've always heard things such as, "Gotta get through the storm to see the rainbow!" or "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
How much stronger do people need to be? If my body (or my brain) could reflect the hell it's been put through.. I feel like I could compete with the world's top body builders. I've struggled with abusive relationships, broken family, cancer...
And just when you think, "Things couldn't possibly get worse than this. It's GOTTA get better from here." The world or the Lord humbles you real quick and slaps you right in the face with something bigger.
Vocal is probably my favorite platform on the internet. The community always seems so encouraging and friendly towards people and their work and it's honestly such a breath of fresh air compared to the political shit storm that is Facebook. I love reading everyone's stories and have really enjoyed all of the ones I've read over the last two days while slowing down and taking the time to catch up. Honestly, y'all have such great ideas!
I've seen so many challenges I wish I had the energy to join in on (specifically this one created by one of my favorite writers here) but I just can't do it right now...
I haven't had a chance to read many of the entries yet but this one written by another of my favorite writers, Lamar Wiggins- is pretty great!
I have so many stories floating around in my head but mostly I'm just consumed with a lot of personal stuff right now and I hate it. My health has taken a pretty rough turn and I have been trying to focus on getting the help I need and doing what I need to do as well as maintain all the normalcy I can and also NOT think too much about what may or may not happen.
On top of my own health issues, my grandma has been in the ICU for a few days with her own issues and my brain also is not handling that well.
Again, I know nobody asked... and maybe no one even notices I'm not around. However, if you do notice that I disappear sometimes, thanks for that ^_^ And if you notice one day I maybe don't come back- know that it probably wasn't by my own choice.
I want to try and write something worth reading soon- but who knows if I'll actually do it or not. I'm in such a weird place right now.
Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for reading my rambling thoughts and seriously, thank all of you for sharing such great stories on this platform! I love reading them, even if I only pop in once a month or so. Catching up these past few days has really helped me keep my brain a little busier. <3
-Sara
About the Creator
Sara Wilson
Lover of the strange and unusual. I write mostly horror or true crime. I occasionally publish other things, but try not to write only for the sake of having content. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated!
Keep reading
More stories from Sara Wilson and writers in Journal and other communities.
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Comments (16)
"I'm in such a weird place right now."<---- Exactly where you should be to write. Keep it up!
Hey girlie! You and your powerful voice have definitely been missed on here! I'll be praying that things improve for you, quickly! Take the time you need to heal! God bless you!
This was WORTH reading!! Thank you for sharing it and writing it as if you are sitting next to any one of us and telling us. I can’t shut up my brain at night FREQUENTLY so don’t fall asleep when I should. I find that I have to choose: do I read a book (which I love)? Do I write a poem? Do I write a piece for a challenge? Or do I go for a walk or dust the blinds, or watch a show? There is never enough time. Take care of yourself and sending 🙏 for your grandmother. All is well.
Wishing you healing for both your health and your grandmother's, and looking forward to your return whenever you're ready. Take care.
My heart broke each time you said "I know nobody asked" 🥺 Vocal is a safe space and you can always share anything with us without any hesitation. We love you and we love reading about you! I did notice you're not around and I thought that you're just taking a break. But oh boy, you had a hell of a lot going on. I'm so sorry to hear about your health and your grandma. I'll keep you both in my prayers! Sending you lots of love and hugs. Please take care of yourself ❤️
I would say that you just did write something worth reading, Sara. And don't worry about trying to keep up with what we're doing. You have enough on your plate. You take care of yourself & let us know if there is anything we can do to help. Prayers & blessings to you.
Never forget to breathe and take care of yourself, Sara. These are times where the world becomes clear and you start to better know what is important and who truly loves you. I wish you peace and healing💙Anneliese
Back to say, congrats on Top Story for this important piece!
Back to say Congrats! Good to see all the support!
Sara- thank you for sharing in such an honest and open way. I’m sorry for all you have been and are still going through. Even though I have not yet had the pleasure of reading your work (going to fix that) Just know that we are all here, holding space for you and offering loving support from a distance. Will keep you close to my heart as your journey unfolds. 💫💞✨🫶🏼✨
Take care of yourself! :)
I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard and praying things will get better for you. Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts with us. 🙏
❤️❤️ life just takes over sometimes and it’s okay! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately 😢
Your absence has been noticed, and your stories have been missed. Unlike Facebook, and I couldn't agree more about that shitstorm, your Vocal friends will listen when you're ready. Meanwhile, the fact that you can drop in and find some distraction, solace, meaning or whatever here means that you're one of us. Let us provide that while you heal yourself and deal with life. We'll be here.
Sara, for the record...I always notice when you're not around or active. I don't know if that helps or not? I am sorry to hear about your Grandma...thoughts and prayers are with you and all concerned. As you know, lost mine a couple of years ago...so know how it can mess with your head so much. I am sorry about your health and life just weighing you down. You are right, people say those things and mostly they mean well, but they are not exactly practical. All I can say is, do what you need to do to stay healthy. If that doesn't produce a lot of writing or much reading/interacting here...so be it. You can only do as much as you are able to and your health and family should always come first. I truly appreciate with all the crap going on that you gave my challenge a shout-out and of course, it would have been awesome for you to take part with your wonderful creative mind, but there will be other challenges other times. I appreciate you taking the time, with your relatively short free time, to read through my madness and will get round to the comments you have left. You do make an impact, and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I do often think "Hope Sara is okay" and you got a shout-out in a recent poem lol, and I wrote and published that before I saw this. So, not just saying it. That challenge is going to be a pain in the arse to judge lol. Everyone brought their A game. Anyway, sorry...diverting a bit there. I really appreciated the update and glad you are still with us. I echo so much of what Lamar said (good way to make sure I cover all bases lol...) and your stories will come out when they are ready. And that line "even the strong can be brought to their knees at times" is so true. You are a resilient person...seem to be anyway and you have that Italian fire in you. Anyway, I'm effing rambling here. Wish I could say more, but I shall leave it with a thank you for the kind shout-out and referring to me as one of your favourites, I think you know the feeling is mutual and also that I hope you have brighter days.
Prayers going out to your Grandma 🙏🏽. That alone adds anguish to your day. Family first! I agree that things can only get better from here. Even if it seems they are not. You are a strong-willed person, and it shows through your writing. "Ugly things" is still my all-time favorite of yours and I have yet to go deeper into your profile for the other hidden gems. Oh, and "Chipped" was a great story as well. But even the strong can be brought to their knees at times. You are resilient and those story ideas swirling in your head want to come out. Let them breathe. I am one of the ones who noticed your absence. From time to time, I try and think of the people I'm subscribed to who haven't published anything is a while. And you and several others come to mind. So, thank you for the update. jenny blue, I believe is gone from here for good. Her comments on my stories now say "Test" I think this is the sign that she deleted her account. I know that we are not here forever, so I will continue to cherish the moments that we are. And thank you so much for the shout out! 💖💖💖💖