Memories: 30 August 2023

30 August 2023

Today has been an intensely emotional and spiritual day. I made a long video for YouTube (almost 2 hours long!) It took forever to upload and then I spent the same amount of time analysing my own self and agonising about putting my truth out “there” with such pure vulnerability.

I decided to leave it up there. It’s my defiance and my parlay in this ongoing spiritual war.

I can trust in my own spirit and in the gods that my message will be seen and heard and will resonate with those who it was truly intended for.

During the filming of the video there was a delicious thunderstorm with rain pelting down, backlit by sunshine, making the raindrops look like descending diamonds. Glorious. Also comforting.

It’s now 10:01 pm and we have another storm blowing through. Good. We need more rain!

30 August 2022

Sick as a dog. That sore throat which began very late on Sunday night has migrated to my chest. So I now have a barking bollocking fierce bronchitis. (Again!) I was having a reasonably healthy week last week too.

This one is shot to pieces. But it’s not Covid so hopefully it will resolve itself just as quickly as it appeared.

It’s a rainy day so a good day to just stay in bed I think. Rest my chest. I can’t seem to cut a break but all good. I have had a lifetime of this. I will weather it through as I have always done.

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30 August 2020

1:11 pm. More synchronicities from my Angels.

Tell ‘em I am soaking my feet in Epsom Salts and Condys crystals. Not even sure that was the Message last night but decided it can’t hurt lmao!

Clean hands..clean feet...clean (or at least clear!) Mind. I am an obedient Servant of the Lord but only when I resonate on the correct wavelength and the message is clear and true.

Like that time I was “sent” to the outlaw bikie clubhouse and made some rather interesting friends. It was all very lovely until they pulled a gun on me 8 months later. But that was a good thing as it meant I stood on my dignity and left just before their club storefront got shot at and that infamous brawl down at the Gold Coast which cost everyone their right to “associate” in this fucked up fascist country. 8 years later...what do we have? Covid isolationism.

No accidents in the universe!

Wash your hands and feet. Stay clear and clean in my psychedelic dreaming.

Please HaShem (or the Dybbuk!). Stop Killing my cats and other pets. I realise all our days are limited and there are destinies even for my fur and feathered children but no more sacrifices or tribute. My mind is close to snapping and You Know how that goesss.

Blessed be the Holy One who sustained me, breathed life back into me and rescued me from Vicious idiots and other calamities a multitude of times in my 55 and four months on this planet.

I humbly command You...to work with me not against me. I never know what it is You want from me, except my acceptance and love.

But every time I stand back up again after every awful calamity...You barely let me draw breath and find equilibrium before smashing me down with yet another thing.

Genug!

I worship not the Demiurge but the Light. I have been embroiled in so much darkness in recent months...hammered by the gods, other people’s heavy traumas and my own struggles. Genug!

I am Your Blessed Little Hobbit Berserker Warrior Goddess and willingly transmit your messages and dance in your manifestations of Bliss but I need Peace for my current blossoming into my late stage trauma patient middle age transitioning process to NoWhere in my own Becoming.

“On the road to Nowhere”... but I need only stand still in my own core and let the evil and the meshugass flow effluviently around me until it washes away!

Todah Rabah. And so it IS. Amen v’ Selah.

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Trigger warning: suicide, trauma processing and Jungian connections.

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I was just shown (drifting off to sleep) these coordinates or “symbols”:

V419 757. Any ideas what this means?

A quick google search says V419 is a vaccine or a star system.

757 (a jumbo jet?). Or upside down on a calculator “lsl”.

I am just curious. I prefer my messages to be from a Holy source and concise and direct.

According to a quote from the tv show Evil I was watching on Stan tonight (interesting show!) demons communicate in symbols and puzzles. Hmmm. Someone’s idea of a joke sending me this “inspiration” just as I am trying to sleep. I rebuke That UnHoly Spirit.

Even as I lie here with pain under my rib cage. (Had upset tummy tonight also! Probably from overindulging in Sugar!). Hmmm.

It gave me pause for thought though. I flashbacked to 2015 when several entities (one a former friend, another a former lover and another a crazed envious spiteful female stalker at the casino pushed me (with constant vicious attacks) to the point of suicide (ie demonic oppression).

This occurred simultaneously with a defamation threat orchestrated by a member of my jewish community and a setup by someone claiming to be a mother of male rape survivors that now seems to me to have been a fake story to lure me to assist. A test of my true inclinations.

I must have passed that test set by either angel or demon as Someone saved me from my suicide attempt in a rather supernatural way.

But here I am 5 years later. 5 years and 8 days later. Hmmm. It seems crazy but I am being shown “connections”.

Never fuck with The Tanya and her God. Just saying!

I have not forgotten Skala laughing in my face at that meeting in February. Hmmm. How deep does that evil manifest, I wonder?

Going back to sleep. Perhaps if the message is an important one from a holy source I will be shown more information in my dreams.

I don’t like “games” or puzzles. I am a direct blunt honest and rather impatient person. I deal in Truth, Honour, Integrity. Love.

It is coming... what I don’t know...

757 also means Boeing

V= 5 +4+1+9 =19 = 10= 1

7+5+7= 19 =10=1

11 angel number

(Or 2!)

30 August 2019

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30 August 2017

I was struggling to add info about my Phillips line on Ancestry then found Robert has uploaded a Phillips Extended family tree and all the info is already there.

Robert, you are a Champion!

I noticed that we have to pay for family photos now which is utterly disgraceful given I uploaded all of mine for free and random people all over the world gleaned them for their trees! For free.

So that is upsetting as I was happy to share mine but now have to pay membership to access others. Just rude!

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Feeling fragile and lonely. So going to bed early with a hot cup of tea and some cuddles from my dog.

30 August 2016

I had a lovely afternoon and evening with Jarrod. Annette gave him 3 fish tanks which was awesome. Then we came back home and cooked dinner then chatted and watched Better than Saul on Stan.

The dogs gnawed on bones and Beauregard attempted to get some big love from Harvey but Harvey as usual is ambivalent. So Beau spent the evening vying for Jarrod's lap to make Harvey insanely jealous. It is very amusing to watch.

I had a happy day although my moods were rather rapid cycling, probably from exhaustion from Saturday night. Some days (hours) you just have to ride that wave and go with the flow. I hate when my energy just drops out into the floor like a disappearing vortex. But it always comes back. Vavavavoom!

I love my friends who are accustomed to my face and my weird mood swings. Lmao!

30 August 2015

1.01 am. Just woke up at last. Fed the cats. Shovelled yoghurt down my face, ate last of the croissants, made a cup of tea and now back in my warm bed. I lost another entire day but rest is important.

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I slept for 20 hours. Now up in the night at 2.55 pm with stomach ache. So annoying. The house is so quiet. It is raining. Cold. Glad I didn't go out tonight.

I am probably dehydrated from living my life in my former Zombie suspended animation state. So perhaps a cup of tea. I still feel tired.

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I want to go to Byron. I will aim for Tuesday as I get paid then. A day in the beach in contemplation. Perhaps try to write. Perhaps just sleep on the beach.

I feel so alone. It is possible to spend a day there and be completely alone. Fortunately I am not afraid of my own company. I can entertain myself in my own head for hours. Also it beats rejection and abandonment.

I need to buy a pomeranian puppy to join me on outings. We would have so much fun!

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8.34 pm I had a lovely day in the garden all day. The chooks eagerly "helped" me clean out the worm farm. I think they were way too many. Frieda especially was really ecstatically holding her own with the two much larger hens.

Hermann held back but managed to get some worms too. Helga and Heidi (dumbest birds ever, and so paranoid and neurotic!) missed out on the worm farm spree completely. I almost felt sorry for them but you just can't help stupid. I suppose the egg layers really needed the meaty protein so were more determined.

Then I rinsed out all the worm wee which is great fertiliser and put it around the garden.

Then I decided to move the fishpond from up the back of the property to under my stairs. I found lots of baby fish which blew my mind as it is only just breeding season now and they are only spawning now. So there must have been a late Summer spawn I missed out on.

I filled up the square bathtub, put the fish back in it, also the water poppies. I also put one of the tiny pumps that has a light in the pond. I was irritated that the little fountain part didn't work, but the light works fine.

I was on the phone to Jarrod and surprised to see one tiny (obviously male!) goldfish trying to mate with a 2 inch long female. It looked hilarious and by Joves was he determined! They spawn by head butting the female under her tail end. Not very exciting sex life have your eggs bashed out of you!

It looked so funny as they were such an odd couple. I should put my spawning mop out in the pond in case she squeezes out eggs.

Anyway, now I am tired but happy with my garden and fish ponds.

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30 August 2014

@ The Victory with Karen Donohoe. Woot!

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5.08 am finally home, in a hot bath after a lovely night out at Valley and later the Victory with the lovely Karen. Then I saw her off on bus home and I spent the rest of the morning with George, singing and occasionally dancing (footsore!)

George gave me a can of Jim Beam someone gave him, to take home with me. So supping on chocolate and bourbon, dreaming of my potential Male Life Partner who is $6500 out of reach (manifest, macaw manifest?) I know, I know...quit whining but I wants my precious and as he will live to 80 he would outlive any of my wannabe future lovers and Bird Love is forever!

I am glad to have something lovely to dream of, to aspire for, to live up to!

Feather, fur and fins for the finale!

Men can't handle me anyway, as let's face it I am Awesome. (Weird, Wild and occasionally Wooly….gnashes remaining Crone teeth!)

Jarrod referred to Rio (the covetted object of my current desire!) as a South American Spine Snapper. Or words to that effect. Lmao!

Socks heard my car pull into my driveway and raced to await me at the gate. I think he loves his Mama. (He has 3 mothers now, one in Finland, one who pays for his food and adores him, and me!) His sister Sophie and of course, my Penny cat are very fortunate indeed although they have briefly lost their own bedroom. Aww!

PS I am happy!

30 August 2012

Spring this year has really hung me up the most! It's awesome! This Blue Moon has brought me a Howling Good Time as well and the peak tomorrow is Settlement Day! Everything is in place for my New Life to explode into Splender! So Mote It Be! Amen!

30 August 2010

I think I pissed off the gods talking about being resilient yesterday. I really feel awful today. I fell asleep on the couch, snoring my head off, in front of the tv for 3 hours and I almost never do that. I think I better start taking my illness more seriously but it's all such a drag.

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I delivered Crystal's vege boxes to her place this morning, all 3 of them, as I worried my gourmand Poss might eat her last remaining Broccoli. The things we do to beat Nature at her own game LOL. Now I need to possum-proof my vege garden.

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons