Memories: 26 October 2023

26 October 2023

6.36 am Lyn lent me this guy for Halloween. I wasn’t joking when I said Death was breathing down the back of my neck lol. But we are buddies and pals from wayyy back.

I had another rough night but I am still here. All good!

https://share.icloud.com/photos/081mMlb3fdhtgvl-7VWxwREEw

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Australia needs to stand up for its citizens and residents also. Grow some fucking balls! Your complacency and complicity is tantamount to genocide. And you knew…all along…the cost of your actions on ordinary people.

I currently am fighting off my first bout of Covid. It’s rough. But I will get through this. Probably forever altered at my cell level with that spike protein…but I never ever regret my decision to reject the Covid vaccination program. That would have been too much of a toxic load on my already weakened system.

Today I have nausea, so I have eaten a few spoons of pineapple pieces. Drinking mullein tea. Hoping to not just survive but to fucking thrive even in this late stage of my life. I am grateful that I kept my body reasonably fit by dancing for the past 12 years. I have the strength of ten horses.

I had a little dizzy spell that felt like a mild hysterical conversion. So I went back to bed. I will ride this nightmare out to it’s natural conclusion. I want to be alive to see the entire world wake up and take back control. Put every government murderer and celebrity shiller in prison.

They are not fit to live amongst ordinary decent people.

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Lifeforce spiralling like a triskele,

Tribulations and rectifications and calibrations

Repository of ancient knowledge dredged up

From the very marrow of my bones.

Every shallow breath held deep and long and true.

Hold your solid ground Little One! We’ve got you.

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1:11 pm. Blessings from the vortices above and the vortices below, in the liminal space between heaven and hell, hold thy sacred tryst with thine own self…and the gods.

Love is the law, lore, language of the multiverses. Have courage, have faith. Hold what is yours by Divine right. Let the rest…go 🙂

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Death is now better protected from the impending storm. I pray we get a good solid rainnnn.

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https://open.substack.com/pub/rwmalonemd/p/israeli-dna-and-human-lab-rats?r=1657hh&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

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I have been watching “Bodies” on Netflix. Intense, thought provoking and possibly a little bit of predictive programming as well.

26 October 2022

11:11 pm the gods are watching…waiting…smile, you’re on candid camera. Forever and ever.

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26 October 2020

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Oh bloody yayy. No freezing. Just the spot on my forehead he wants me to come in again in 3 months for. Wants to charge me $500 to have my whole face light lasered. Um no. Can’t afford that. Will monitor the problematic one though.

I spoke to Jason at Housing. Apparently the gas stove does not come with a handle for the griller tray. Ludicrous.

I had a mad dash to get here as had changed the filter in the pond. Then got the message from Housing to ring Jason back. Then rang Maintenance to get the lock on laundry door fixed which in the process of locking up before my mad dash to the skin clinic (whilst on the Phone to Housing maintenance consultant) mysteriously the bloody lock suddenly worked again. What the?!! It hasn’t locked for a week now!

All I can say is GREMLINS!

Anyway no freezer burn blisters so I don’t feel quite as beaten up as I expected.

Off to Aldi to buy something for dinner!

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1:12 pm (just saw 1:11pm). Another angel number! Hmmm. I just finished watching a show on Youtube about the Afterlife. The bottom line of the message is “you (we, I) are loved!” True! But hard to accept in times of tyranny and deception, dishonour and abandonment.

I KNOW intellectually that I am Loved by Source. But feeling loved, seeing Love in action in absolute truth?! Not so easy.

So it means I have to raise my Vibration and LOVE myself even more or I will keep Attracting liars, cheats, misbegotten curs to me. Psychic vermin attracted to my Light because in my broken parts I am leaking energy everywhere. Like a fountain. Splat! Lmao!

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I had an “imaginary” friend named Steven. I used to ask for extra biscuits to give him (but could not understand why he would not eat). I led him by the hand everywhere. We lost “contact” about the time I was 7 I think.

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The theme for me this year: the year that went to Hell in a handbasket has been RESPECT. I have held my ground, dug my heels in, bellowed and screamed to all the gods and the multitudinous bureaucratic vermin that have variously been incapable of basic office skills. Several manifestations of that blighted bollocking in recent weeks sent me a little bit insane with stress.

Game players and psychopaths will play but when they come to me they get slammed. I was raised by them. Destroyed by them. So I can smell their stink anywhere!

I woke up just now 7.30 am because, in desperation about my state of mind yesterday (mental and physical exhaustion and full blown trauma activation!) I put myself to bed by 9:30 pm. Only thing to do is to sleep it off. Therein lies the healing or at least the recalibration of my spirit.

So yes. Today is going to be just another day but with skin cancer blasting at 3 pm. Yuck. Getting naked in front of strange doctors (or anyone!) not my favourite thing. But I have been brewing those cancers all year so they need to be zapped. Zippedeedoodahh zippideeyayyy! Fuck!

The rest of the week is free to heal from the awful watery blisters I will have acquired. Lots of rest, methinks.

26 October 2018

1:11 and saw 11:11 . Something big is moving along. Watch out! Mama T is on the prowl. Ahhhhwoooooo! She’s gonna get you!

26 October 2017

The heat has upset my stomach and made me feel weak and swollen and uncomfortable. The storm has barely changed that. It blew through.

I need to go to the ocean. Soonish. Drying out like a shucked husk in the climate torpitude of human desecration is killing me.

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Lmao! Just slam-dunked a mozzie on or near my ear and now all I got is a ringing high-pitched tone in my inner ear and the vicious bloodsucker is still buzzing me. Summer in Australia. Not for the faint-hearted.

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Thor and Odin are getting serious now. No more pissing in each other’s pockets. They gonna roll those boulders. Heads down. Ride the wild Tempest. Yeeeehawwww!

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Light rain, bit of hissing and boo in the distance. Looks like it might miss us at Holland Park. Oh well. We have had good rainfall for past 2 weeks. I am grateful and satisfied.

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I saw my optometrist Myriam Goldman and have one pair of hospital glasses on order (due in 4-6 weeks) and am buying a cheap pair of bifocals so I have a spare. They are purple! Will go great with my purple top hat and new purple corset. I am paying them off over next month. Woot!

It will be nice to have good vision again.

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Here she comes! The humidity is oppressive. Skies turned from crystalline blue to a murky grey. Waiting to exhale.

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I woke up with “thunder asthma” which is weird as the skies are clear and the supercell storm is not expected until this afternoon. Hail is forecast, wild winds. But my lungs pre-emptively strike. My body is a sensitively calibrated weather machine.

26 October 2016

Still extremely fatigued after last weekend's epic awesomeness. Lying in my hammock, intermittently dozing. Manifesting, dreaming, wishing.

The tree above me bursting out in new growth, her leaves flicking in the wind which whispers my name. She takes my dreams and gently holds them.

She takes my stress and worries and traumas and sends them deep into the earth's core. So they can meld in the molten furnace of the engine of the planet. Fickle foibles of insignificance compared to the machinery of creation.

Beauregard, randomly leaps onto my chest and smothers my face with his head. Mmmmmph. Can't breathe. I shove him off but with a good-natured cuddle.

My chest is heavy with breathing issues so smothering is not my idea of affection. So he sits underneath me and gnaws my empty hummus container.

I leave my body in my snoozy afternoon meditation. Perhaps that is why he leapt on me? The change in my breathing? Smart dog. But I was just exhausted and somehow a little journey into the light for a few seconds won't harm me.

Anyway, I am alert again. I have my debrief with my Doctor in 45 minutes. Hard to leave my repose in Sacred Space but I have to get up, jump in the car, drive, and dribble my psyche awhile.

Then off to Lyn and Peter so he can see if my laptop can be fixed. So a busy afternoon. Then back home to rest again.

My feet still ache from the weekend. Feels like a steel rod is stabbing through my bones. But oh well. I had a blast.

Happy and grateful to be on this journey of healing, wisdom and love. Anything is possible.

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26 October 2015

Today I revisited the scene of a perfect 'crime'. At an AGM I saw the usual psychopaths stab a good friend in the back and muttering behind mine too. I arrived late to the meeting and was ushered in with much display of cordiality.

My usual enemies were there. The woman married to a communal stalwart that destroyed my relationship with Jasmine. Well, he put the final boot into it. His wife today, told me to shut up when we were congenially twittering away at something humorous. Ugly vain sociopath.

There was a request for casual members of the board. I was stared down by the chair, almost hopefully. A psychiatrist with no idea of my history or experiences of long-term abuse in the Brisbane community. I stared back at him.

I am not lazy. I am the foundation member of 2 Shuls (one long since folded that in all my years as a practising Jew was the only one that brought some measure of joy amongst the interminable jealousy and spite I seem to attract at every organisation I become a member of).

The first shule I joined, when I first came to Australia abused me and my family for many years. I cleaved to that evil shule as it was the only place I could be accepted as a Jew and raise my kids there-in. My reward? They tried to stymy even my daughters' Bnei mitzvot.

The fact I still identify as Jewish has little to do with anyone in the Brisbane community. Except for a few rare and fine individuals.

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I have been in the garden. I gathered together the girls and clipped their wings. Frieda was hard to catch but I made it up to her by giving them all frozen berries.

I gave Tabitha a bath as I am not happy about her bald patch underbelly. I cleaned out her coop. She is wet and disgruntled but she was so dirty so a bath once in a while will help her. Then I did some washing. I vacuumed the kitchen floor. Now knackered! I seem to have very little energy these days.

Anyway the funny thing that happened is that Mr Crow hopped up on the table while I was chasing Frieda in ever-diminishing circles. I had placed her egg on a plate, intending to take it inside.

It never made the kitchen, as Crow-face, so tame and yet cunning did not flinch even as I bypassed him closely. He even sorta laughed at me. He grabbed the egg in his beak, gave me a mischievous gleeful stare and flew off across the road. I yelled "Oy, that egg was not for you!"

Minutes later he was back, this time taking the fermented mouldy pineapple chunks out of the compost. He flew with a piece in his beak and oddly, dunked it into my fish pond. Then gobbled it up!

I love that bird but now I will have to make sure he doesn't snitch my hen's eggs! Little Varmint!

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10.25 am finally awake. Slept since yesterday. I had a good rest. Lost most of the weekend, except for dancing and my brief appearance at the AGM. Then back to bed. Schmeh!

My darling Jarrod is coming to visit this afternoon. So there will be cuddles with Harvey and laughter in this house. The frog or toad in my front pond was noisy last night. He chanted all night long. I should fish him out of my pond and murder the blighter!!! (I now suspect he is a cane toad which I do not want breeding in my pond).

It is funny how I tolerate his bleeping when I thought he was a sweet green tree frog. He is quiet during the day-time. Like me, he flies in the face of reason and reminds me that everything is inter-connected.

While I was lying in bed at 2 am contemplating his imminent demise I was reminded that his life is as precious as mine, and that half the Brisbane Jewish community (who am I kidding? 3/4ers! Maybe more) wish I would just crawl away and die in the sun too.

So little irksome toads and wild women with attitude will keep on Bleeping, plighting our troths and truths to the Universe, and living our lives. God and the Angels have our back.

Suns rise, Suns fall, the earth spins. The heavens race along the night sky. The moon is almost full. I bid Ye welcome Moon Goddess, reflector of your husband Sun. Soon we will Howl!

26 October 2014

Maybe eating half a kilo of Triple Mudcake Ice cream at 4 am, for breakfast (and dinner!) gave me nightmares??? 🙂. Omg. So worth it!

Julie Goddard: more than likely lol

Me: Yuppers. Let me just say...I have recently discovered I am Lactose intolerant also. That Ice cream was the gift that kept giving. ;-)

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Crap! I am screwed then. I can't even remember which tooth or teeth had root canals. I get low-grade pain in my lower jaw! I asked the public dentist for an MRI to check on it as it has hurt since I had the tooth extraction.

They have yet to agree to do it.

I am a Dead Woman Dancing...just keep dancing. My teeth have always been a factor in my ill health. Shitty teeth, shitty life.

Psy Sighs! The implant means I can smile now :-). That is something positive (and it was very expensive!)

My mother was vehemently opposed to crowns and she also was a proponent of dentures and against keeping dead teeth in the mouth. In her words "Weg Damit". "Get rid of it.

She would be so smug right now, knowing she was right all along.

If she hadn't traumatised me at a very early age by making me scrub her dentures in bleach, I would not have fought so long and hard to keep my own natural teeth.

(Swings and roundabouts, hurdy gurdy ride to hell). Lmao!

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12.25 pm just woke up. Horrible nightmares about my sister and lots and lots of china and her home merging with other homes, separated only by curtains so I was accidentally stealing or misplacing stuff between 3 homes and felt really crazy and like a thief. Horrible dream. I abhor stealing!

Also in the dream she had a cook/housekeeper and she was really nasty and vetoed everything I was trying to do to help with cooking. She even yelled at me that I was peeling potatoes wrong.

In the oven were potatoes, some clean and others covered in mud which I told the housekeeper I had not put those in there so I had prepared the clean ones. I felt demented and set-up.

I hate that dream. It's a serial one. I always wake up feeling lost and confused as though I actually have Alzheimers. It is an old trauma dream relating to my mother and sister.

For all my talk of freedom from those bastards, I will never truly be free. My traumatised subconscious won't allow it!

Oh well. New day, new miracles. I will move through it and enjoy the good things I have. Real love from real friends who are my authentic Family! Grateful Happy woman to be so abundantly Blessed with beautiful genuine people in my life.

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Feet still hurt like Hades. I went to sleep about 5 am. Woke up at 8.30 am, let the chooks out then went back to sleep. Woke up 12.25 . 7 1/2 hours sleep. I will be crazy tonight...not enough sleep. Oh well. i get that lmao. All the exercise puts my body into shock!

As for miracles, Lyn put a deposit on a really solid chicken coop she found for $100. I am rapt as the one out the back that I paid $300 is a flimsy piece of junk made out of "fir tree" wood but so soft it is really Balsa wood.

My crazy Romanian neighbour John who watches my house (and me! Day and night!) was kind enough (and I was desperate with worry over Frieda and Mischief when the coop floor collapsed!), to come over and stapled the thing together with his staple gun. He helped greatly but it was a temporary measure as the coop is deconstructing again.

So my source of worry and stress will be over with a more solid handmade coop.

Happy Chickens = Happy Mama!

Nicole Kenning: Sounds like everything went wrong for you Tanya

Yes, it was a horrible 47 years but slowly getting better now. My life is finally awesome. I just wish I had money and a loving genuine partner...but baby steps. I am thoroughly enjoying my freedom that I fought so long and hard for.

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3.32am. Home from another wonderful night out. I had no money but Lana got me a drink and after that I drank water. I danced for several hours non-stop. Phew!

I just had a hot bubble bath (forgot the epsom salts dammit) so feel relaxed and happy but my feet are spasming like crazy.

I will be resting all week again.

I saw my 'beloved' but stayed away as he wants to be left alone. So I kept doing what I do best, being happy and dancing wildly and enjoying what the good lord has given me...freedom, solitude, happiness that comes and goes but is a new resource I can tune into any time I want and a big big audacious Love. Of life, of friends and the world around me!

26 October 2013

At a party at Odin St. Drove through Valhalla and Thor Streets to get here. Synchronicity...perhaps my Viking lookalike person will be at Pub tonight?

Either way, life is beautiful so Dreamer will party while Dead Elvis plays weird games of unavailabity and subterfuge, I suspect Viking will be more Adroit and straight arrowed! (Drools).

I was impressed when Dead Elvis returned my missives when I mentioned that next time I see Viking Man, I won't let the age difference deter me. Ha! He shook hands with the rival for my affections 2 weeks ago.

This Viking Jewish Woman will be in full flight tonight. Raise the sails...we sail into Mystery and Adventure!

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I had a lovely afternoon with Crystal and Ramon. We sat on the grass so Ramon could feel real earth beneath his feet. He wasn't all that keen on feeling grass but he eventually nibbled some.

I had a nice cuddle with the only male mammal left on our fur family. Penny cat played with us too. We threw her a soft fabric ball from Ramon's tunnel so she had a nice time.

26 October 2012

Been busy creating glass painted jars into lanterns for my garden. Spent time pottering in garden and enjoying the blue skies and warm weather. Lyn visited also. I am so happy to be alive and finally have gained some long overdue Shalom! Peace!

Let's hope it continues and I may live long enough to shep plenty more Naches along the way.

26 October 2011

I was rescued from another day of captivity and monotony trapped inside my humble abode by Lyn, who took me home to her place so I could gather the ripe and delicious Jaboticaba fruits myself. We also gathered pine cones for my firestarters, and some lemon myrtle leaves. I really enjoyed my hunter-gathering today.

I came home and rinsed out the worm farm to gather worm wee, and cut down some black bamboo sticks, the thin ones then cleaned them of their leaves to use them as garden stakes and cut the leafier thinner branches into the compost.

26 October 2010

I reached a new level of crazy today. I am AWESOME! THANKS TO THOSE WHO SUPPORT ME IN MY EXPLOITS. lol

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons