Marketable Downside

In today's job market, the qualifications or characteristics for most jobs are these...

"Applicant must have good customer service skills."

"Applicant must work well with the public."

"Applicant must know how to communicate effectively."

Looking at new jobs and new possible career paths, the standard is the same. Employers are looking for potential employees who can speak well. Communicate well... in short, someone who knows how to turn the "hood" off and turn the "proper white English" on in certain environments; mostly dealing in the corporate circles that are run by the ultimate alpha white male. Situations that call for "code-switching" are what potential employers are searching for when it comes to the black applicant. It's a subtle situation that occurs every time a service job is posted.

I'm good at the skill. I absolutely hate even saying "skill." However, I have mastered the art of turning on my college background and telling my "hood" self to have "several seats" when it comes to looking for a job that I hope will later change into a career. It had been this way since childhood, being raised in a boarding school setting. The foundation for being "proper" was already laid and I, like many of my urban classmates going, developed the language in which we had to turn on once we came back to our various cities. Our roots had to be shown just to hide the fact that we were becoming what some people back home would say "educated color folk."

As a child, I faced many speech and language delays when learning how to speak so when I started my standardize education, I was learning from a foundation that would later scar me as I continued to grow up between the two places; the city vs boarding school. I would get teased for talking "white" (my music choices didn't help in that belief... I mean, have you listened to Jimi Hendrix?) which I would at the time, get defensive about. Family members would constantly remind me to "loosen up" and not talk so "proper." I had the inability to turn it off and just spoke "white" all the time.

"What does talking white even mean?"

The fact that speaking eloquently or even enunciating words/ phrase equated to "white" never made sense to me. I had always figured that these ways of speaking are a way that is correct to the ears of the English-speaking person. The WAY in which the words/ phrases are said only adds character to the person. A similar way to some people like pasta while others like rice. Still great sides, still delicious to eat, just some prefer others when paired with chicken. Continuing my education over the years, the accusations of "being white" or "talking white" only got worse. Proving my "street credit" on an everyday occurrence with my fellow "brothers and sisters," I started to hate myself even more. When I should have been proud of having gone through college and having "good education," I was ashamed of even following that path. I was mad that I was now constantly defending my blackness to people in my community. When the choices that were decided went as far back to when I was 7 years old. My grandmother who had decided what she felt was best for me and my younger brother at the time, pertaining to our education. It helped in molding me; however, I never lost sight of who I was as a black woman and the struggles that we have faced since the beginning of time.

Years later, here I was, at the orientation of my new job and my new boss introduced me to my new potential crew members. Many in which are younger and have been raised in the city. Smiling, the manager noted that I was someone who had "great customer service skills."

"Her customer skills are amazing which is going to be great for the store. Having those skills will bring in more customers which will bring in more money for you guys, especially for a new store."

While everyone was looking at me, I broke into a nervous smile and said hello, more conscious of how I sounded. They all nodded to her statement, the reason why was obvious which quiet chuckle I heard. Where the store is located, it's in the downtown portion of the city. Businesses and companies surround the entire area of where we are opening up. Predominately white clientele would be the majority of people entering the store. Yep! Great... another one of these jobs.

"Hi guys, looking forward to working with you all."

Street cred... Gone. The mascot for the ones unable to turn their switches off... Sure, why not? Looking forward to defending my blackness in a work environment of people who should be the first ones to accept me but rather look at me like I am an alien from another planet. Meanwhile, bring smiles to my white counterparts in order for the business to thrive. Just to get a paycheck? Sure... Why not?