Losing faith in leadership
What happens when you lose faith in the people who are supposed to be your mentors?
You lose interest, not only in the work but in everyone around you. You start to pull back. It's what's been happening to me for the last 8 months. We went through a restructure, and there was a lot of messy stuff that happened over a very short time that showed us a glimpse of what was to come and the way the leadership team handled very difficult situations. In this case, it's very poorly done, and they try to just throw money at the people who are deemed 'key' to the business or who would be too expensive to pay out. But for those of us who just tried to keep our heads down and get through it, we got nothing but 8 long months of very little guidance or leadership as we had no formal manager and they weren't planning on hiring anyone else.
All I wanted at this company was to be able to grow to my full potential, but it should have been a red flag at the start when I got off the initial call with them and they offered me a far below market salary for what I do. I cried when I got off the phone with the HR manager... for a long while... because I wanted to believe in the business because I thought the business was a great concept (I still think it's a great concept just run by the wrong people who will never be in it for the community, and the longer I stay, the more I realise they keep hiring people like them). I turned down a job that maybe wasn't as glamorous or fun but paid better, and I took them at their word, though, that things would be looked at after 6 months and that I would spend those 6 months working and showing my true potential for the business. 6 months turned into a year, then 18 months, then 2 years very quickly. A new venue was announced and opened at that time. Awards and accolades were granted due to my efforts alone, but there was no recognition.
All I wanted from the leadership was a mentor. I just wanted someone who would nurture my skills and help me develop them. I wanted someone to help me blossom, but I know I'm not going to get that here. I'm not using this as a pity party; I just want to know if you are feeling this way, you aren't alone. I'm still looking for that person and hope I find them soon.
It's funny that the day I fully lost all faith in the leadership team was also the day I sat in on an AMA about becoming a head of marketing. Ryan from the Digital Marketer team helped me make up my mind on that call, and I remember being in tears by the end of the call because I knew that the company I'm at right now would never acknowledge the hard work I've put in over the 2 years I have been here. No matter how much I contribute and create value for the business, I am never going to be taken for more than the peanuts I get paid and the title that they have given me.
All I got out of this role was a wake up call that the team around you really makes the difference, and when the team started splitting up, it was time to leave. Most of the people that made the day-to-day exciting left before I got the chance to, and that should have been the sign. It doesnt matter now, whats done is done.
I know the industry hasn't been a great place recently, but there have to be places that care in the community.
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