I resign from being poor.

This morning I woke up and thought: I really don’t love being poor.

I'm a single dad, with primary custody of three kiddos. I'm very thankful to finally be single and I love being a dad! But, man, kids are expensive!

They're in my custody roughly 28 days and nights out of the month, my ex-wife takes them for visitation a couple nights a month.

My mother watches the kids most weekends so I can work.

Speaking of work: my job is awesome!

I work for my county's parks department, as a liaison between the parks and the public.

Not to brag, but I friggin love knowing that I'm working for the people instead of wasting my labor to further the profit motive of some festering corporation. Knowing I'm serving my community? That's really great for my soul! I also love being outdoors all day.

But the pay is... not great.

I make around 17 dollars an hour, at 24 hours a week.

My average take-home hovers just over 700 dollars biweekly, or $1400 monthly after taxes. That's a lot less than $29,960 a year, so we're well under the federal poverty line for a family of four.

Sound like I make enough for groceries?

In the US, the average monthly grocery cost for a family our size is over 1,000 dollars. So yeah, I got it covered! But only barely, and there can’t be any other expenses.

In other words, no, not a chance I'm swinging that! After factoring in our 500 dollar monthly car payment, gas, insurance, medical copays, and other kid-specific purchases like school supplies and diapers, we're dipping well into the negatives!

That means I can't always keep up with my crippling student loans, but don't worry! When I miss a payment, my lenders get to collect more interest over the course of the loan. Hooray!

Thankfully, we receive around 200 dollars worth of food from our local food pantry every couple weeks-- it's not enough to keep our expenses from exceeding my income, but it is a critical aid!

Additionally, I'm able to draw on some extra funds, paid by the children's biological mother. Initially she refused to pay child support, despite her clear obligations to the children. So the courts ordered her to pay a couple hundred a week. Though we didn’t see then support until an enforcement agency stepped in to garnish her wages.

Even with child support, we remain under the poverty line.

But the kids still have fun!

As long as we keep all the fun meager. I mean, there are public playgrounds and things like that. But if it weren't for the food pantry, and my ex finally paying child support towards basic expenses, we'd simply have to forget about any paid outings, celebrations, camps, and extracurriculars. And vacations? We're still not even allowed to dream about those.

So why don't I just work more, huh?

Well, hell, I've done the math. I actually WANT to put in more hours at my job because I love it there, so I ran the numbers to see what it would cost me to put my two toddlers in daycare while my oldest is in school.

I was shocked to learn, at my pay rate, childcare is literally cost prohibitive-- $1200 monthly, per kid! By the way, this figure does not account for additional fees associated with wrap around care/ extended hours. So, I'd have to hope my boss would be willing to only EVER schedule me to work within the confines of regular daycare hours! Frankly, that availability wouldn't fit park needs. Still, for the sake of argument: If I were to put in fulltime hours at my current pay rate I'd make about $2600 per month (that's before taxes). My net at the end the end of the month, after the daycare takes their two-kid cut? Only a couple hundred bucks!

That'd be over 80% less net than I'm making right now!

So why don't I just get a better job?

There's not a whole lot I'm qualified for. I have a BA in psych and a shitload of retail experience. In other words, my transferrable skills could land me in... Retail. Again.

The most money I've ever earned was 25 dollars per hour (around 3200 monthly after taxes) as an assistant manager at Trader Joe's. That was a rough job, not a labor I felt good about. Still, I've considered stepping back into that role, hoping I might be able to provide a better life for my kids....

But now, as a single dad I'd also have to pay for daycare. That means: if I were to go back to the highest paying job I ever worked, in a full time capacity, I'd net around 800 dollars monthly after factoring in daycare expenses!

That'd be more work, for a company I disapprove of, all to earn a 25% cut to my current monthly net.

Make that make sense!

You can't. And neither can I. So until my youngest is school aged and I can pick up more hours, I'm stuck trying to provide with the mere 1,400 I'm earning now, alongside the 800 garnished from my exwife.

Against our other expenses, this doesn't come close to covering rent....

On this point my kids and I are beyond lucky. We have a family member who opened her doors and her heart to us. Maybe you can guess who?

... Yeah, it's my mom.

With nowhere else to go we've all crammed into her house, and I'm grateful beyond words for the roof over our heads.

We are not suffering ABSOLUTE poverty.

Truly, I believe my kids are happy enough to think we moved in with Nana for the fun of it. They’re safe, warm, and fed.

For now.

But believe me, as a single dad in my thirties-- living under Mother's roof isn't the thrill I'd choose.

I'd like to move myself and my kiddos into a place of our own. I'd like to fill our table AND give back to our community. I'd like to be able to treat my kids to outings and vacations. Hell I'd even love to pay away my passively growing student debt!

Like so many of my peers, I was told (by predatory loan salesmen) that: high interest student loans weren't dangerous, that a degree would catapult me into a comfortable career, and if I signed for a loan, I'd pay it down, no doubt!

Ha.

This model may have worked for somebody but it did not work for me, neither does it seem to have done any special kindness to my fellow grads.

I've come to believe that we were lied to a great many times by a great many people, when it comes to the myth of financial mobility.

My generation wasn't the first to buy into the great sham of the American dream but I sometimes wonder if we might have been the last.

We were a collective of bright-eyed fools, standing on the threshold of responsibility and adulthood, clueless to the spiraling trap of careerism.

And our lenders definitely knew what the goddamned hell they were doing. I mean, shit, their whole business model literally depends on siphoning accrued interest off a generation who could (and should) have just said no...

Leave it to enterprising capitalists to con people out of their futures!

But I know, right now I'm just pissing and moaning like a whiny crybaby libturd millennial commie snowflake cuck who just doesn't want to work anymore.

Shame on me.

I should just pick myself up by my bootstraps, and make something of myself like those self-made billionaires who "started with nothing" and now control enough capital to end child hunger worldwide, (if they wished).

I've seen the op-eds and the Ayn Rand quotes so I know my poverty is 100% my fault. I can't blame society or corporate greed for stagnant wages being dramatically outpaced by the rising costs of living. I can't blame the government for subsidizing corporations like Amazon and Walmart while people like me are drowning. I can't blame the billionaires for tax dodging to avoid paying their share.

It's on me.

Because, living in America, I'm radically free!

I can be whatever I want.

So why don't I just become RICH????

I’ve decided, yeah bro, I’m done being poor!

Don't know why I waited 35 years to finally pick myself up by my bootstraps, but now I see the light!

It's the intersection of libertarianism and magical thinking-- the economic slant on the Law of Attraction! It's not BS, homie. All I need to do is visualize having a yacht and an entourage. If I manifest wealth, the universe will send me money... The Great Capitalist In the Sky, American Jesus, has got my back.

So yeah. This is my official letter of resignation from being poor.

If you're poor too, what the fuck are you waiting for. Just get rich already!