I'm Not Equipped... At Least, Not Yet

You see, when I first arrived on Vocal, I thought that I was going to win the world... and all of its many Challenges. However, it became evident to me after my first one or two that I would not be able to accomplish my dream of constantly winning. In fact, I didn't even place in a Challenge until February of this year, and I joined in October of last year!

As the title says, I don't feel properly equipped for all these new, fancy Challenges. When I first heard about the Vocal Writing Awards, I thought, "Holy cow! I can submit my Kin writings into the Science Fiction area!" But then I second-guessed myself:

"I don't write short stories like Vocal wants. I write books."

And what about the Next Great American Novel Challenge? The first moment I saw it, I jumped into writing a story, one that was almost related to To Kill a Mockingbird (the greatest book I've ever read besides The Tale of Despereaux). But I realized within the first, oh, five seconds that I 1) wouldn't place anywhere in the Challenge, 2) did not have a stable idea for a story, and 3) had no chance of winning.

I, a small author who dreams of having her books in the big-banger bookstores like Books-a-Million and Barnes & Noble, have no chance of writing the first chapter of the next Great American Novel. I don't write short stories like that- I write books!

But obviously, the Vocal Judges don't want to read my 200-som'n page book Partners or my book-in-progress Kin. That's literally why we have Challenges- so we can think of stories without the whole book idea. And that's (literally) why I can't do Challenges very well. Especially not these new ones. I think in books, not short stories!

I don't feel very equipped. I, unfortunately, am a writer of books, long-term stories, instead of a writer of short stories. I doubt the Vocal Judges will ever think of opening up their Challenge section to actual books being written... and if they did, I sincerely doubt I would win any of their Challenges.

"If you write books, why don't you enter the Next GAN Challenge?" you ask?

I don't have the skills for it. I'm currently in the process of writing a book, or two, or maybe three if I finish my notes, and writing the first chapter of the next GAN seems like something a whole lot bigger than finishing the fifth chapter of my third book. For some reason, it seems like a greater responsibility than writing about the dystopian lands that I have stored in my imagination.

Of course, the GAN can be fiction, as seen from some that I've read in the past. But not science fiction. Not the things that I usually write.

I would love to enter the GAN Challenge and the Vocal Writing Awards, but I don't have a chance at winning, or at least the chances seem very slim. The judges have only ever been interested in one of my writings (or maybe two, because of my weird streak of Top Stories back in April), I don't think I have a big ol' chance at it like some of the other amazing creators do.

Some of the creators I admire most, like Em Starr and Gina C. and Cathy Holmes would probably have a chance (You guys are amazing, if you see this! I admire your work.), but as for me I'll stay out of it. Unless I happen to stumble upon something that brings me an immense idea.

Until then, I'll stick to writing my books in secret. Hopefully I can get a publisher (instead of self-publishing), and, one day, there'll be a book of mine in Books-a-Million. But by then I probably won't have entered a Vocal Challenge, either. Baby steps, right?

Just kidding.

See y'all later. If I happen to actually enter my Kin writings into the Vocal Writing Awards... then well, I might actually have a chance.