How I Blew My Shot at 20 Grand

Could you imagine losing the opportunity to win 20k? Well if you’re me then you don’t have to use your imagination. It really happened. I blew it; the opportunity of a lifetime. We all know twenty grand isn’t so large of an amount to quit one’s humdrum job and begin a leisurely life as a reclusive author (Don’t judge my dreams and I won’t judge yours!), but it is a sizable amount that could be life changing. I, along with every other vocal plus member, sought this prize and very well believed myself able to obtain it. I think it is fair to say I stood an equal chance of winning as any other fledgling writer on the site. My work stands no grand testament to the advancement of the literary arts (yet), but I know I imbue everything I write with passion. I want my work to reflect who I am, what I’ve learned, what I’ve yet to understand, and most importantly I want my work to entertain those who read it. I believe that to be my downfall in this entire ordeal.

When I first learned of this writing challenge my imagination exploded with the possibilities of where I could take the story. There was so much freedom in what could qualify for the challenge that I honestly found myself stumped. I wanted my story to be unique, and enthralling. I wanted to write something my readers would enjoy long after the contest had ended and I claimed my prize money. This wasn’t only about winning; it was about crafting a genuinely interesting story with the themes given. With all the possibilities floating through the landscape of my imagination I did something that I hadn’t in a while. I began to brainstorm the old fashioned way, with pencil and paper.

It had honestly been several months since I attempted to jot down anything story related in a physical space. With a recent change of occupation I found myself with less, and less time to actually sit and write. It wasn’t if I had stopped writing entirely though. The Notes app on my phone has served me well in my time without a pencil, and Google Docs have been instrumental in preserving my writer’s spirit. Still there was something fundamental in the writing process that only came from laying the words to paper. This was something I knew instinctively. When my well had run dry, I sought my notebook. It was where I could always count on it to be found, in my work backpack. I did not write in it anymore, but I carried it faithfully into work each day in the off chance inspiration rang. The small black thing is not as impressive as a custom Moleskine, but it serves its purpose. It was ironically the notebook itself that gave me the basis for my story.

I have titled my little journal “The Immortalization of Bad Ideas”. The name was birthed from something I once heard Stephen King say. “I think a writer’s notebook is the best way to immortalize bad ideas.” I once heard the legend say while I was scrolling Youtube for writing tips. A younger, more rebellious version of myself thought that the perfect name for my notebook. I would immortalize all my bad ideas, and one day they would culminate into something amazing. In a sense that’s exactly what’s happened with the story I planned for the challenge. I took the title, and began to draft a narrative around a book that kept a record of various misdeeds. I thought that premise interesting on its own, but then I needed characters around which this story centered. I began to dive into the concept of multiple chapters, each with another character at its center. My creativity was bursting with ideas, and I soon forgot the limitations of my medium.

I spent what little free time I had between work, familiar life, and my romantic relationship working on the details of the story. I soon began writing a draft for the first chapter. Let it be known now that I am notorious for turning a draft into a finished product. I always find myself adding little adjustments until somehow an entire work is finished. That is essentially what happened with the story I initially planned to enter the contest with. It grew and grew until it was well over the word limit for the contest. I had made the blunder of assuming that like with most other pieces on Vocal that the word limit was 5,000. I had overshot the contest 2,000 word limit by 400 words and I wasn’t even halfway through the story yet. This realization came all too late, with only a few days remaining until the deadline. It was near impossible to size the story down without losing its cohesion. And I didn’t want to sacrifice something I had worked on so diligently for nearly a month, just for a chance at a cash prize. It would have been a betrayal of the passion that conceived the story. So instead of butchering my work I decided to complete it.

I’m sure that within those final days of the challenge that I could have swiftly crafted some makeshift tale that met the bare minimum requirements if I had not delegated that time to the completion of what I began. This would be even worse than a betrayal of my art; it would be a betrayal to my audience. I refuse to write in such a way, even at the cost of the coveted 20k. I won’t pretend that I don’t desire the prize, but at the time my writing felt more paramount. There will be more opportunities granted to me in the future, and my notebook and I will be waiting to seize them.