Half the marriage is the best model

Many people think that 1+1≥2, two people together should get more possibilities and gains. This algorithm looks perfect, but in real life, it is often difficult to maintain this algorithm.

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At the moment of marriage, each of us is full of good expectations and yearning for marriage. Imagine the ending like in a fairy tale: the prince and princess lived happily ever after. But the reality is often: in married life, there are always such and such contradictions lurking. The two people who were once in love with each other finally came to the point where they hated each other.

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A couple got divorced because of a pair of socks.

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My wife is a tidy person. The house is kept in good order and the items are neatly organized. The husband is more casual, throwing things wherever they go.

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For example: every time the wife changes shoes, she puts them in the shoe cabinet, but the husband never stores them and leaves them on the ground; the wife folds the clothes neatly, and the husband turns them in a mess every time he looks for clothes; the wife will Putting the dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket, the husband will inadvertently take off the dirty clothes on the sofa, bed, chair... Every time he sees this scene, his wife will be furious.

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The wife feels that the house must be clean and tidy so that she can feel warm and comfortable, otherwise she will be irritable and anxious. My husband feels that home is a place to relax, and the restrictions everywhere make him tense and unable to relax. The two often quarreled about it, and neither could convince the other.

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Finally, one day, the wife found a pair of smelly socks beside the pillow that had just been sun-dried, and collapsed instantly. The two had a big fight again, and finally decided to divorce.

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Voltaire once said: "It is not the distant mountains that make people feel tired, but a grain of sand in their shoes." Marriage is different from love. Marriage is not only a combination of two people, but also a protracted running-in.

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There is a saying: "Details beat love". Likewise, details can beat a marriage.

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Sometimes the killers that kill marriages are often trivial things, such as different personal habits, diametrically opposed hobbies, small frictions in life, and so on. These trivial things are like that little sand in a shoe. They consume your energy every day, tease your nerves, test your endurance, and challenge your endurance limit.

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In "Love Call Transfer", Xu Lang and his wife quarreled and divorced because of whether to squeeze toothpaste from the bottom up or from the middle. This is not an exaggeration. In life, there are not many couples who divorce due to different tastes, inconsistent work and rest time, etc. It's not that they don't love each other, it's just that they haven't found the right pattern of marriage.

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My friend Xiao Rong is a sports person. She likes to go out to climb mountains on weekends. She likes to watch British and American dramas at home. She is a lively person. A Fang is lazy and nerdy. In his leisure time, he likes to play games at home and watch anti-Japanese dramas. He is a person who likes to be alone. These two people with completely different hobbies and personalities not only got married, but also spent seven years with Kamei.

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It turned out that at the beginning, the two of them also had a bad time:

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Every time Xiao Rong proposed to climb the mountain, Ah Fang either refused or accepted it reluctantly, then complained all the way, and finally broke up. Xiao Rong thought that playing games was a waste of time, and left her in the cold, asking Ah Fang to quit gaming, while Ah Fang believed that playing games was the best way for him to relax. Xiao Rong felt that the domestic anti-Japanese dramas were very brainless, while A Fang felt that he was very tired from work and just wanted to watch some mindless dramas.

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The two often quarrel over these little things, and then have a cold war.

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Then one day, Ah Fang offered to go climbing the mountain. Along the way, Xiao Rong saw that A Fang was sweating and panting. She still tried her best to accompany her to joke and laugh. Xiao Rong's nose was a little sore.

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From then on, Xiao Rong no longer forced A Fang to quit gaming. Every time A Fang was playing games, Xiao Rong would sit next to him and watch dramas. Sometimes Xiao Rong will accompany A Fang to watch anti-Japanese dramas, and then complain together. A Fang will occasionally accompany Xiao Rong to climb mountains, exercise, and watch her favorite dramas with Xiao Rong.

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In marriage, there is a kind of emotion called understanding, and there is a kind of happiness called tolerance.

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Regarding the model of married life, Bo Yang has said it a long time ago: those who live in marriage live with half-open eyes and half-closed eyes. There are no perfect men and women in the world. If you keep your eyes open for too long, or use the mirror for too long, I am afraid that even God can pick out something wrong.

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This means: two people must know how to respect each other, accept each other as they are, learn to seek common ground while reserving differences, and accept each other. Instead of trying to change the other party and interfere with the other party's freedom.

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When a father in Taiwan delivered a speech at his daughter's wedding, he said this: "Marriage is not 1+1=2, but 0.5+0.5=1. After marriage, both of you should remove half of the Individuality can form a happy family. Marriage is not possession, but union."