Formless

Growing up I was the girl who growled and barked on the playground. Every recess was a break that allowed me to catapult into another reality. Immersed in every day dream, I would pride myself on assuming my fictitious role to the best of my ability. This was the foundation of a much greater skill that I would one day harness into a hobby and side job.

Fast forward to high school, I was no longer barking in the halls. That's a relief. In fact I was helping run the school news in the morning, and took every video class that my school offered. I always had "rooms" in my head. Each one had a different video playing; and now I was learning to use the tools that would allow me to give form to the formless streams of creativity in my head. As a senior I won the national "I Am What I Learn" contest put on by the Department of Education, and that made me think maybe I was pretty good at making videos. My dream then became making my own content. What type of content, I didn't know, but I knew it had to be mine. It had to feel right. Once I left high school, I rarely shot or edited any projects that were just for me. This went on for several years.

So, here we are now. As an adult, we all know that a multitude of things can get in the way of our passions and projects. In fact, as I sit here typing this little story about myself and my passion for video creation, I'm thinking about how I should restart the project I've been working on. I find that speaking from my heart is a great release, not only for myself, but because I know someone else out there could benefit. I'm nothing too special, but you can tell when people have something interesting and different about them, and many people tell me I fall into that category. Right now, my project is talking about life and death. That sounds a bit deep, right? It does get a bit intense I suppose, but theres something beautiful about it too. In my opinion, more people need to keep things simple and see the beauty in life, and with life comes death. It's that simple.

Instead of going off on a tangent about life and death, I'll share my second favorite thing about video creation. I'll start my saying that, in general, editing anything is extremely tedious. You are listening to the same patch of audio and video a few times in a row, making little tweaks as you go. Then once you get thru a bit of the footage, you have to go back and watch it all and approve it before you continue. I love that so much. You can give me 4 hours of horrible, shaky footage, and I will return it to you as a polished 20 minute documentary worth plays on television. The artist inside my mind will see little glimpses of usable content just by watching the raw footage. I can only explain it by saying what I see passes thru a "room" in my head, and while I'm watching I can already see the finished product and whatever changes I need to make. So, I start to chip away and create whatever my mind tells me to. I'll be able to slow this part down, maybe zoom in here and change the whole color scheme of the shot so it's entertaining to watch.

Once I have my finished video, I sit down and watch it. Most times I don't even believe I made whatever it is that I'm watching, as if I'm unworthy of having such a talent. Usually near the very end, this overwhelming feeling of pride and peace comes over me. Especially in these days, everything is video, or at least visual. Every video I create, either a personal project of mine or a clients, is a small part of this big digital tree that we are growing on a daily basis. That brings me joy and humbles me so much.

In fact, speaking of joy and humbling, I remember one time I did a wedding for an older couple. It was their first marriage, and they were both in their 50's. The bride was a beautiful, gentle-spirited Asian lady. The gentleman was an Italian guy, a real man's man. He looked at her like she was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and I could tell it was always like that. They met thru a mutual friend. That was probably about 4 years ago. He contacted me November of 2019, right before Covid became a thing in the States. He informed me that his beautiful bride had passed away from cancer. The reason for his message was to thank me for the wedding video I made them. He's been able to watch it over and over and see her laugh and smile every day because of something I was able to create for them. I remember there's a part in the beginning where she's walking out of the house and there's flowers around her, and she's standing there smiling and taking in the moment. I watched the video again after he contacted me and that part made me smile and ugly cry at the same time.

I need you to know this wasn't your typical wedding. It wasn't low budget, but it wasn't fancy either. It was all orchestrated by friends and family. They didn't have much of a budget and were having trouble finding a reasonable videographer, so I did it for them on a donation basis, as well as welcoming some free food. The free food is arguably one of the best parts of a wedding. What other hobby can bring you that type of joy? I was able to snatch a moment in time out of thin air and give this family a memory that they can relive.

In conclusion, my joy and passion for video editing doesn't just come from giving form to my own ideas. It also comes from being able to move people. I can relay a message, bend time, or distract someone from a bad day. I love looking at all the little chops and patches and colors of the finished project laid out on the timeline of my software. It's so simple yet powerful. You can't reach out and touch it, but it can touch you. It can change you.