Don’t forsake Your Old Friends

When I was in High School, one day, I was bluffing my elder cousin showing myself as a studious scholar. I was carelessly playing with the pages of an English Grammar and Composition Book written by some incompetent author. Who plagiarized the list of idioms and proverbs from J.C. Nesfield. By chance, I saw a saying, “Don’t forsake your old friends.” As I read, I was scared. Because till then, some of my friends of the diaper and underwear era had been lost unconsciously. I was worried about how to reconnect my link with those friends.

Cruel bullies- Julia and James

I asked mom to help me recollect. I could visualize some faces of my diaper friends and their violent activities, with particular reference to my memorable battles with them. When they tried to rob my toys. She apprised me with two prominent hard-hearted creatures- Julia and James. Julia was settled in Paris with her parents, and my family had no communication for the last many years. My mother informed me that she was like sumo wrestler when she held my nose so tightly that I was left with persistently sneezing and running nose. My sinusitis might be the effect of her cruel dealing with my nose.

James was less violent than Julia, but he used intense crying as the deadliest lethal weapon that could disarm any stubborn bully. Mom told me my habit of shouting at the top of my voice could be the outcome of my subconscious mind having been programed during that time. Jame’s family lived in the city, but my dad broke his relation when Jame’s mom stole a bottle of champagne and fried lobsters from his car.

Gift of uncle Bill Gates

All this made me very curious to probe some image of Julia within my mind. Luckily, I succeeded in getting her deeper inside the valley of my unreliable memory tagged with a whistle of steel gifted to me by uncle Bill Gates. That billionaire’s petty gift I lost somewhere, but to my utter surprise, one day, I heard its sound coming from the guest washroom. I was alert as a failed detective.

The door opened, and Julia came out. I suspected assuredly without the slightest doubt. That she stole my whistle, I tried to catch her for a thorough physical search, but she was more potent and slipped away from my soft grip. I desperately reported the matter to my mom for further investigation and subsequent prosecution of Julia in the case of such an unreasonable theft and recovery of my whistle.

“Nu Na” is under Detective Investigation

In the course of action, she met Julia’s mom to discuss the matter. Mom told me that she had no whistle at home. I interrupted, ‘what about the sound that came out from the washroom. She revealed confidently that sound might come from her ‘Nu Na.’ I couldn’t understand and asked what it was. Only girls had it, not boys, mom said. I was jealous and eager to know about a girl’ Nu Na. How it looked? Was it made of steel like a whistle? No, it is an integral part of a girl’s body.

I was angry with God for being partial to the girls. I took a solemn pledge to verify the fact. Since then, for many months, I became an official spy of a girl’s washroom. No sooner did a girl enter the restroom than I put my ears to the door dutifully. I could hear the whistle most of the time. In the spying adventure, I was caught a few times because I was popular among girls in the school. Once a girl complained to the headmistress. I was called and asked the reason for being found at the girls’ washroom door. I kept silent. I was exonerated because no one could smell any male-female consciousness from an innocent boy of five.

“Nu Na” is found a Whistle Blower

Ultimately I was convinced that my mom was correct and Julia wasn’t a thief. Though she was a whistleblower but the sound used to come from her Nu Na like other girls. A few years before, I could get the literal meaning of Nu Na from the dictionary of senior boys who had a fantastic experience with Nu Na. Since then, undue respect for girls arose within me that they were inborn ‘whistle blowers’.

Death Penalty for leaving an Old Friend

I thought to conduct the autopsy of the proverb like a medical intern. An old friend is the eye witness of all our deeds less fair and more foul. Spouses, cops and employers were ever in search of an old angry friend of a subject. They know about us from pissing to hissing, cajoling to swinging. In these precarious situations, if you dare to forsake your old friends, you must be ready for the unpardonable hanging to death for the law of the land.

God is on vacation. If anything goes wrong, you can’t call Him.

Disclaimer: The original version of this story was published on another platform. Link to original version:https://medium.com/the-haven/dont-forsake-your-old-friends-51b95f91bdcf