Be More Vocal

I have always been trying to find a voice.

Since I was a child, I have always been the shy one. The person in the back of the class who never speaks. The invisible boy who everyone forgets. The last one chosen for any group activity or sports team.

In my mind, I am always dreaming of being the center of attention, the lead singer in a rock band, the star of an action movie, the leader of an army. Internally I want everyone to know my name, my face, and all my accomplishments. But outwardly, I get scared when someone looks at me for too long. What are they thinking about me?

I don't like crowds but I want to be adored by thousands of fans. I hate the way I look or the sound of my voice but I want everyone to know my name and applaud me for my success.

Despite this complete contradiction between my dreams and reality, I finally f0und a way to be both; sheltered and out there. The answer was writing. I have been doing it for years but I just didn't realize how important it was to me. Until now.

Writing As A Hobby

One of my favorite places to go as a child was the library. Not really to read books, but just to be among them. I liked walking through the aisles of books, watching people studying or reading at the tables, and taking in all the silence.

This was before smartphones and kindle and probably even before Wikipedia. As a child, I would walk through the library and go from section to section and genre to genre trying to find something that interested me.

Sometimes I would pick up, borrow, and read a book like IT from Stephen King and be blown away, or sometimes I'd get something too complicated, give up and return it without finishing it (although that was rare).

The reason the library and books, in general, were amazing to me was the fact that behind the books were actual people. Not robots or Gods who created these stories (except maybe for the Bible), but just normal people with good ideas.

I didn't think I had good ideas but I wanted to be one of those people. I just didn't think it was possible and so I was an avid reader but only a seldom writer. And everything I wrote was pretty bad and never shown to anyone. But I kept writing.

My sister laughed and my friends called me girly, but I had a diary which I would write in every night. I wrote a diary for almost 10 years. I also wrote short stories that I kept in a locked briefcase under my bed because I was afraid someone might find them, read them, laugh at them and show them to the world (I wasn't writing comedy pieces so laughing, in this case, would be a bad thing).

This hobby that started off as just putting my dreams and fantasies in my head on paper was something I never thought would be read by anyone or even make me money someday.

Everyone Is An Author

Then came online writing. From blogs to online media outlets, Twitter, Facebook, Amazon, ebooks, and sites like Vocal. Everyone could quickly and easily have their writing out there for the world to see.

The library with all its books which housed all the exclusive writers was now a thing of the past and even people with little or no writing experience could publish articles and novels without much effort or cost.

Finally, behind a computer screen and an anonymous profile name, I started writing things online. It started with short blogs about my life or musing. Often I wrote about movies I watched, places I went, or people I knew.

Then I started writing articles about my life experience, travel, and my dog. At this point, I still didn't think it was something I wanted to do or could do as a career.

Writing As A Career

The more I wrote, the more I realized that people actually enjoyed what I wrote about. I got lots of positive feedback not only from friends who I finally let read my work (through social media) but also from complete strangers.

Many people enjoyed my stories, writing style, and voice. I was getting people who actually looked forward to reading my stuff. Slowly I realized maybe my passion was writing all along. Maybe the adoration and satisfaction I was craving before could be gotten from writing.

I started taking it more seriously and became a freelance writer on the side. I wrote for some travel websites, some tech, and gaming-type websites, some sales-type writing I found on Upwork and Fiver as well as my very own ebook.

Reality

This is the part where I am supposed to tell you that after all that hard work and years of writing, I finally made it. I became a full-time writer and could spend my time anywhere in the world and still make good money.

Unfortunately, that hasn't happened (yet). I still work my day job, I still struggle to make ends meet, but I still write anyway. But rather than trying to make my writing a full-time income, I now write about things I want to write about.

Rather than chase the dream of writing by taking on projects I hate or have no interest in for really low prices, I write on the topics I like.

In Comes Vocal

I don't consider myself a professional writer or author so joining Vocal was a great way for me to not only write stories and not be judged too harshly but to also read other writers and better my craft.

Because Vocal is so big, diverse, and has writers from all walks of life, each person's voice is so different. It really is like traveling the world from my living room. And there is no superior being (editors, not God) censoring or editing your work. You are free to write about anything you want (to a point).

The freedom of writing on a site like Vocal and still making some money from your writing is something that I have been looking for my whole life. I didn't think I would ever be a published writer but knowing that Vocal accepts my writing is great. And what's even better is that sometimes they add my stories to the Top Stories category and give me a bonus!

Knowing that my writing is thought to be good enough to make the top stories section and that Vocal is rewarding me for doing a good job makes me feel good. I feel like my years of diary writing or free blog writing is actually paying off.

Vocal for Life

I think as long as Vocal lets me, I will continue to be part of their community. As long as they keep allowing me to share my stories and experiences without censorship, I will continue to share my work. Hopefully, readers will enjoy my writing and I will be able to also read others' work.

Also, if my writing gets better and my stories get popular, this might be a great way to make money and feel confident enough to tell people that I am a professional writer. My dream of a big audience appreciating me and my work might come true.

Until then, I will write one story at a time.