Asalamalakim

Rugged child, closed off to the world, mute, that’s what you could have called me if I didn’t spoke a word to you when I was a child. So much in my life I decided to suppress due to the problematic situations I witnessed in my life. For starters I was, and probably still am just angry & saddened, the reason I am is because I remember previous situations or problems I had as a child going into my teenage years. I often replay these scenarios back in my head to this day because I feel so disappointed in myself, and angry at those who caused me to feel this way. Whether I sparked the problem or someone else did, yet I still must live to remember what I know. Death, suffering, fear, lack of hope was in the air while in school, you’d think as a teenager you would be worried about getting the girl of your dreams, standing up to the school bully, trying out for the sports team to become the most popular kid in school. Except if you change narratives, you’ll see it was the exact opposite for me, I often worried about who was going to kill due to the fact where I lived & who I knew in this world, having to stand up to predators in my community, learning how to fight to live tomorrow. I shed so many tears for those I lost within the past six years, having no time to cope because I had to become the man I needed to be, I knew my life mattered to those who aren’t alive to see my accomplishments. It was all seemed like a lost cause until I found my passion for writing, it was peace & happiness rather than fame & fortune, learning to find myself, knowing myself, through writing I started reading. Learning that we are all one family, Black, White, Colombian, Indigenous, Haitian, Jamaican, Cape Verdean, Guatemalan, Mexican, we are all a family, from the teachings that the original man & woman were of black people, who are the only ones on the planet to create so many beautiful shades of colors such as white, black, brown, light, tan. Meditating on the facts reading more while catching a breeze of the summer air surrounding me, before slavery black people were king & queens of the civilizations long before any hate was spread upon the world.

The more I read, I realized that it was Peace & Happiness that kept me going, I keep being repetitive on those words “Peace” and “Happiness” because we all need to seek such loving & welcoming warmth around us. For the world we live in such as Social Media Platforms often dictate what we should do daily in our routines, or show people it’s acceptable to lie, cheat, murder, or even hateful towards another. I rather think for myself rather than someone else who’s on Instagram influencing my thoughts on how toxic relationships are good & healthy for people. So, I read, meditate, write so much to shift my own thoughts where I listen and hear what is going on in the world, to know I can’t control what’s uncontrollable, and only change what’s inside and outside of me. I can’t force my own energy on someone who doesn’t want me around them, if someone has pure love, happiness, compassion for you they will show it and stick around until the end of time no matter what. I was trying to fill a void that was never there, I often discourage myself, beat myself up, blame myself for things that wasn’t in my control or wasn’t my fault. And I sometimes I questioned my existence, and it often didn’t connect so I had to live and search for the meaning of life, until I realized that have peace & happiness amongst yourself, and those who you love. The sun represents freedom, the star represents justice, the moon represents equality together form a universal order of things that align with your purpose, for it teaches us how to lead, how to love, directs us in the right path of righteousness.

Which is why I must keep my head strong; I can’t worry what people say, I can’t let cowards influence my actions. I read more, meditate listening to my body on what it needs to eat & drink daily. I so blessed to see what I had for myself all along, I have a family who wouldn’t think twice when it comes to me. I struggled so much through my childhood to find this point right here, if I ever got a chance to see my younger self again, I would just reassure him that he wasn’t going to die. He wasn’t going to die; he didn’t need to worry about when he would be harassed by police for mistaken identity, or just the fact of his ethnicity. He wouldn’t have to worry because he chose wisely, he chose the right path he needed to take in this grimy world we lived in, I write this in hopes someone find encouragement within themselves and see they must know their selves, and realize you are part of a huge universe that was created to live together on, not to overthrow & conquer one another. Be grateful for the blessings that you give & receive in your life, navigate steady through your environment, let it flow not forced. You have a power to bring about peace, why not keep on displaying this power than let deteriorate with racism & hatred? All it would bring is much sadness & darkness inside you and those around you, don’t let it consume you whole. It inspires to see so many writers out there who have stories of their own, who elevate their plateau. I actively strive to show those they have a voice in this world, what keeps you grounded is what pushes everyone else to do better for themselves, I practice & repeat my skills in writing, my pen is sharp like the sword of Sun Tzu who knew how to strategically win his battles. For this cold world we live in is a game of chess not checkers, and for that I hope those never lose sight in their writing. Your story is never-ending, someone will share your dreams, you will find that place, all you needed is where that dream leads you, which is the peace & happiness you find within yourself and those you cherish with. It will be difficult, though it wasn’t easy for myself once I started. I usually wrote down what I thought until the thought ran out of my head, it could be about emotions, events, something you were overthinking about or just wondering why it happened, I wrote it down for myself to reassure myself it would be okay. Started reading books that would challenge my intellect every day in order to display passing down knowledge of what I was taught, for I didn’t want to be a prisoner of my own mind. I did long stretch to hear my body & listen to my own breathing practicing to control my breathing, with that I slowly learned to control my emotions, knowing when, and when not to pour out my affections I have for certain things. Once I applied those healthy habits into my body, soul, and mind I seen changes to my daily life, now I’m fully capable of equipping myself with the necessities of life. Things change, growth can be painful for everyone, we just must learn how to adapt to the changes, so we must safely guard our hearts against things that shall bring us down. I’m imperfect, I’m no better than anyone else an vice versa, though I know we as a people could find ourselves in this pool of darkness, it’s our choice to either let it consume us, or find our way out of the darkness.

Because we all live to fight another day, for me I strive to use my voice to keep people’s spirits up while trying to ground myself in this life I have, I’m only a soul having a human experience. I hope this helped many in their journey to find peace of mind, I pray every day you all as writers see the way of righteousness, in difficult times we all need each other, listen to your family, love everyone unconditionally, protect each other from the evils that lurk in this world. Doesn't matter who’s the best writer or who’s the worst writer, it’s about how you bring your message out into this world for everyone to hear your voice and give guidance to the present writers & future writers in this world inspiration to strive to become the ones who need to help those who struggle needing that help. I know it’s my job in order to guide those who need me, even if I physically can’t be there in their time of need, I can write my motivations for them to keep going in this world, for I nurture them as well they nourish me, for your dreams matter to everyone. You represent your elevation in this world, it’s up to you how you do it, I hope this gave my people a little insight of how I keep my sanity intact, and how I operate in order to have myself grounded, remember it’s not about fame & fortune, rather peace & happiness, in closing I like to say “asalamalakim” which means ‘may peace be onto you’, may peace always be onto you my brothers & sisters of this inhabitant earth, may peace be onto you.