𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐲 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞

I want to become a freelance writer to have the flexibility to travel without having to ask for days off from my 9-5 job, having the experience to gain extra income to pay off my student debts I have while being a junior college student striving to rise as a writer. Writing was never easy from me, in fact it wasn’t even the first steps I took in order to become a writer, nor was it basic language. As a child I was put in mediocre classes, special education programs for I couldn’t communicate with others, I was mute, very quiet to the point I didn’t say my first words such as “mommy” or “daddy”. During those time in my adolescences, my parents didn’t know what to do, they sought out speech therapists, profession doctors in communication disorders from local hospitals, to see how they can improve my levels of speech. As well as I can remember, I just never liked to associate with everyone I wasn’t familiar with, since then it’s been a big effect within my life, your first impression on me will be the last, so you’ll have to really be down to earth once you introduce yourself.

Though I advised not being the one to always boast about having high status, or being above everybody in the social class, that’s where you will lose me, beside the inner thinking I had, all the doctors were amazed with my connection between my older (middle) brother & I shared when we were together. As they viewed the two of us, they would see I displayed passion of how much I shared with him, they didn’t' understand it, neither did my parents, though they saw my brother & I developed our “own language” they didn’t understand it, for the times I did speak it sounded like gibberish to them, yet my brother understood it. If I wanted to have pancakes, I would ask my brother who would interpret to my mother or father that I wanted pancakes, if I wanted to watch a favorite movie of mine, I’d tell my brother who would translate it back to anyone who was wondering what I was saying. The doctors were so amazed by this such moments I had with my brother, they only seen in their professional books that they studied in universities or their jobs, yet never in person came in encounter with such moments like this, they would call in their other colleagues to witness this kodak moment that was Infront of them.

That bond is still there I have with my brother, and it will forever be embedded as I move forward in my journey of life. As time went by, from early 2000s to 2010s I would teach myself to draw, write, read different genres of books I liked to enhance my intellect of what was out there in the world, I was still in programs of special education, yet I would be in regular advanced placement, or regular classrooms while in school. A lot of peers & classmates of mine didn’t understand why I needed special education if I were fine & able to operate in the school system like everyone else. I didn’t often talk about the disadvantages I had for I believed that some would use it against me, often I felt like it was a charity case, or a crutch I had when it came to my speech and how I interacted with people.

As time went, I would become angrier due to my growth during my pre-teen years & late teens for the fact that I didn’t want to be seen as someone they could just walk over, or someone that needs help or guidance every step of the way, that I was capable enough to carry out tasks & situations on my own without anyone's help. From there that didn’t further my path, it only given me inner demons I didn’t want, and distance myself from people I cared & loved for, I always had this intuition that people were always out to get me in this world, and that no one valued what I had instore for myself. Which I would learn later was false, and that my mind was so intercepted by things of the world, such as social media, fame, fortune, and statues I wanted it all to the point I did understand why it was until I had to find myself again.

Being stuck for that long, I challenged myself every day to do better, to feel greater, to have welcoming energy in my surrounding environment, though I know this it doesn’t mean I welcome those who tend to execute my pure peace & happiness, I safeguard my mind & heart from negative people whose goals is to bring about chaos & darkness within people’s heart, mind, and soul. I learn to respond rather react to situations that don’t require my energy, for no one should use up their energy for those who didn’t understand the first time. ‘The job of the conscious is to make the unconscious conscious” (Kwame Ture), I’m fighting for those in spirit & mind against the parasite & flesh, I journal my feelings, I stay present within my time instead of thinking in the past or future, learning to grow in silence such the old Confucius did, my fight is to educate mass awakening of those who been sleep in this world.

“You can’t ‘save’ everyone, but you can ‘save’ yourself and become the light, so people see your power and become inspired to find that light in themselves” (Bobby Hemitt). The game is rigged, yet it’s up to everyone including myself to think first before we move, just as the game of chess we must observe our surroundings, hopefully those I give wisdom shall prosper in the state of unity. In order to bring a people together you must know yourself before you bring everyone around you together, for the key to a strong people is unity.