A puppet at a dead-end job

We all have jobs that make us feel as if we are undervalued, underappreciated, undermined, mistreated, and abused... but when you know you are one of the best employees at your company (if not the best), you expect to be recognized as such. If we lived in a world where employers would provide the same amount of appreciation as they do when they reprimand their employees for when they mess up, then the employees would probably do a better job or put in more of an effort to do a better job, but if the employer is constantly hounding you no matter how good or bad you are, then you feel there is no point to being a better employee. The purpose of this article is that I have worked for a company for over a year now, and have consistently been one of the top employees in my department, yet I have not received the recognition I deserve for all I have contributed to this company. I have bitched and whined to my colleagues about how I feel unappreciated, unacknowledged, and overwhelmed with the nagging from management about the most minuscule mistakes I've done in over a year, but have seen others cause so much trouble in a short amount of time but are still being patted on the back for "job well done". We truly live in a backward world where the employees that are an asset to the company are being treated less than the ones who are questionably still with the company.

I have been with a company that I didn't apply to, but received a call for an interview after I had lost my previous job. I attended the interview, I put my best foot forward, I felt they would have recognized my value based on the experience listed on my resume, and felt I would get the job regardless if I aced the interview or not. I walked out of the meeting very confident that I would get a call saying I would get hired; surely, I received the call shortly after I left the office. Little did I know the hellish situation I was getting myself into; I didn't realize that I had accepted a job with a company that had only been in business for two years, and was still trying to get their stuff together. Excited that I had gotten a job shortly after losing the other, I felt great and ready to take on the world. Soon after I started training, I would start noticing a few red flags and starting asking myself "are you sure this is where you want to be?", but I was determined to give it a chance considering I needed the job and I was only a temp at the time. As the months went by, my probation period was coming to an end, I kept asking my manager if she knew if I was going to be offered a permanent position, and kept being told to wait; the anticipation and suspense kept creeping up. Finally, my manager asked to meet in her office, when I arrived, she had paperwork and a pen in her hand, I was ecstatic with the mere thought that this was the moment I was going to receive life-changing news. My manager gave me such a heartfelt speech of how great of a job I was doing, how management and HR had recognized that I would be a great fit for the company, and wanted to offer me a permanent position. I was over the moon grateful and excited, it had been a long time since I was permanent with any company, and I was grateful that I was finally a part of something. I knew the company had its flaws and places of improvement, but I was still grateful to have a job; I signed the offer letter after they discuss pay rates and benefits, and on my merry way I went. Moving forward to now, so much has happened that makes me regret having accepted the offer, but I know where my priorities lay and I know I have things to pay, so I have stuck it out thus far.

At the end of March or the beginning of April 2021, I was promoted... I know what you're thinking "you are talking bad about this job and them not appreciating your hard work, but you got promoted"... let me explain. Yes, I was promoted, yes my manager gave me another bog speech of how I was the first person she considered for the position, how she was recommended to hire me for the promotion, and how great of an employee I was... but with every great accomplishment, comes an even bigger setback. I accepted the promotion from Customer Service to Quality Assurance Auditor, I knew I would be perfect for the position, and I knew I could so much more with this title, or so I thought. I am now responsible for monitoring our department's calls, assisting management with projects related to my title, assisting with training, etc. But having a title and management not respecting the title they decided to bestow upon me is like giving an employee a raise and then taking it back. I do enjoy my new responsibilities, I appreciate that I was considered for the job, but I was asked to do certain things that I still don't feel 100% enabled to exercise my title; I feel like a puppet and management being the puppeteer. I put in so much work, I put so much energy and passion into my job, and yet am not able to showcase my talents to their full potential. I am currently feeling unmotivated, discouraged, saddened, and even considered looking for another job, but I know the difficulty of job searching, the risk of finding the right fit, and the idea of starting over is daunting. I used to go into work ready to start the day, would motivate my team, but now I can't even motivate myself. I know there has to be something wrong because this is not like me to not be a hardworking employee, not put in my full effort into what I do, and be in such a slump where I am not able to get myself out of it.

I am struggling with the occasional recognition from management, where they recognize the quality of my work, but it comes at the worst possible times. I am human, I make mistakes, and management seems to think otherwise. For example, management called me into their office one day to address that I had incorrectly filed a complaint on behalf of a client for something that could've been easier resolved. Do you know what my manager said? She said, "this is unlike you that I have to call you into my office for less than a request for assistance or advice, this is not the best reflection of your work". I responded, "I never said I was perfect, I never asked to expected to be put in such a high ranking, so I do make mistakes just like everyone else". She looked at me and smiled, and said "you're right, you never said you were perfect, but the quality of work you present every day speaks for itself. Please make sure to be more precautions of your cases", and asked me to return to my desk. I should be grateful that management thinks so highly of me that they do not expect me to ever make mistakes, but it is not a realistic expectation to set for someone. I have wondered if they would show equal concern for my work if I was an average employee that would make mistakes on a frequent basis, or would I be at the back of the line like everyone else? So, I have managed to quietly exercise the power that comes with my new position when I feel is due, and have been praised by my peers for the help I provide. I help my team to make sure all excel and thrive equally. I appreciate the people I have on my team and try to show it as much as I can because I am also in the same predicament as they are when it comes to feeling unappreciated. I have worked hard for my promotion, no one can tell me otherwise, but I also don't let me take away from keeping my feet on the ground. I am an employee just like everyone else, I have to work hard to keep said job, and have to make sure all is in order. This is the end of my work journal, thank you for listening.