55 jobs and counting

Job number 13 was for a few months as well, and that was being a delivery driver for another plumbing company. It was a temporary position, but it was a lot of driving and picking up random shit and pipes and tools. For a month or so I would also go to houses and take their old water heaters out and then drive them to a dump and drop them off. For a week one time I went to a senior residence facility and tore off pieces of tape so my parter could tape insulation to the water heaters, boring and a lot of time to think about a lot of nothing.

Number 14 was when I worked at Target for a seasonal job around Christmas time. I started out working in the make up section which I as a straight white guy was not happy about at all. People would ask questions and I’d say hmmm fuck if I know. I may have gotten written up about that once or twice. I then moved to the toy section which was fun l, except to be honest I’m like a little kid so I spent more time looking at cool toys I’d want to play with them actually help customers. I would send them to random areas of the store looking for Pokémon cards and legos just to be funny. I was a dick to be fair. I would send them to the dog food section looking for board games, and the food section when they wanted make up. I did get fired fairly quick but I had fun fuxking with people.

I then got a job at Meijers which is like a Walmart or a Target. I worked in the electronics department. It was fun, I also did all the photos people would bring in on their not digital cameras. Me and my co workers would examine every picture, stare at the hot women, make fun of the people who weren’t hot, and saw a few people doing the nasty and taking photographic proof. I first got in trouble when I accidentally ruined a nice lady’s wedding photos. I forgot to tape both sides of the roll of film and it got destroyed in the machine we run all of our film through. I told the lady it’s not a big deal just her first wedding photos, and she was not happy. She ended up getting a lot of freebies and the supervisor eventually made her happy and I got written up. I made a good friend there with a huge penis apparently as all the employees who were female had slept with him and bragged about his giant cock. His nickname was Mr hardgoods lol.

My favorite part of the job was following known shoplifters so they couldn’t steal cds n dvds. I could spot a shoplifter a mile away lol. Around Christmas id recommend video games for parents to buy their kids and help them find new movies to watch and new bands to listen too. Number fifteen lasted about five months and it got old quick. But I did a have a gay manager who hit on me a few times but I shut him down hella quick.

So job number sixteen was when I moved to Springfield, Missouri. I was a bartender for two days before I got fired, but it wasn’t my fault. I was set to replace a girl who quit but two days after she trained me, she wanted to go and get her old job back. I didn’t care since I was going to school at the time so I told her to fire me and hire the other girl back. I got shitty tips anyways since it was a local dive bar. To be honest that bar was where I did my first body shot off a beautiful bartender and it’s where I learned to play pool for the first time.

It’s where I grew a love for Miller lite and also where I was a bartender at a local bar for two whole days. I made a lot of friends and it was a special place in my heart the whole time I lived there.

Job 17 I worked at a Papa Johns inside a college campus next to Chic Fula and Subway and Panda Express. I loved working here due to the fact I ate sooo much food. I would get free pizza while I worked and also pizza by the ton to take home, but I would also get free burgers and Chick-fil-A and subway as well during my shift. Sometimes in one day I’d eat chicken nuggets, pizza, cookies, a sub, and take home breadsticks and wings to eat as a snack. I also gained like sixty pounds working here and the pay was shit, but damn I ate hella good. I did work here a year and was the first guy my manager came out too, he was gay btw.

I worked during the Super Bowl and that was hell on Earth. So many damn pizzas and it never stopped. Cutting, making boxes, toppings, putting sauce and cheese and tossing that shit in the oven, and ringing up more people. It was hell for sure. I quit this job after I graduated college and went directly to starting my own business.

Number 18 was an antiques business which months later went belly up because I started a business with a friend who unbeknownst to me had a meth addiction along with a masters degree in history. We had a few stalls in antique malls and was out constantly looking for old items to flip around and sell for a profit and we also did furniture upholstery and stuff like that as well. Too much competition and my business partner smoking the profit made it all go up in a cloud of smoke. Me being a genius maxed out a lot of credit cards on this business, so my credit score got fucked hard and it took a long time paying off the remnants of a failed business. It was around this time I got married as well, another huge mistake.

Number 19 was a exciting job and that was dog flipping. It was a side gig where I would go to smaller cities and find dogs, buy them, and take them home and then resell them for a higher profit. I made a few thousand doing this, but eventually my apt complex found out and saw my ten puppies and I couldn’t do that anymore. It was great while it lasted though.

Number 20 was at a credit card company helping people get credit limit increases, new cards and so on. It was fun and the company had video games and a ping pong table to mess with on our breaks. It had a cafeteria with super good pizza and I made two good friends both with dreadlocks. My ex wife worked there as well and my future brother in law and my ex sister in law. It was mind numbing at times and I’d read books and play solitaire for hours sometimes when it was slow. I did get fired for “misinterpreting the rules so to speak. I did make a lot of people happy and by doin so it may have cost the company a ton of money but I didn’t know better, I may have been slightly mentally retarded. Actually i could still be who the hell knows.