The Curious Case Of The Missing Left Socks

The Curious Case of the Missing Left Socks

A Strange Little Mystery with Absolutely No Reasonable Explanation

Nobody in the town of Bumblewick knew when the left socks started disappearing. At first, people assumed it was the washing machine. Washing machines, after all, had a long-standing reputation for eating socks and occasionally making suspicious noises.

But when Mrs. Puddleton discovered that her left sock had vanished while she was wearing it, the town realized something much stranger was happening.

She had been standing in her kitchen, buttering toast, when she felt a tiny breeze around her ankle.

She looked down.

Her left sock was gone.

Not torn. Not slipped off. Gone.

"Harold!" she screamed at her husband. "The laundry has become aggressive!"

Harold continued reading his newspaper.

"Have you checked the dryer?"

"Harold, I am wearing the right sock!"

He lowered the newspaper.

"Well, that's inconvenient."

By Thursday, the entire town was in an uproar. Police officers investigated. Scientists were consulted. A local priest suggested the socks might have been taken to another dimension, although he admitted he had no theological evidence to support the theory.

Then came the discovery.

A twelve-year-old boy named Freddie found a tiny wooden door behind the town library. It was approximately the size of a biscuit tin and had a brass sign reading:

THE INTERNATIONAL SOCK RELOCATION DEPARTMENT

Freddie knocked.

A small voice answered.

"Who is it?"

"Freddie."

"Never heard of you."

"Well, I've never heard of you either, but here we are."

The door opened.

Standing inside was a remarkably small man wearing a purple suit, a monocle, and approximately seventeen left socks tied around his neck.

"Good heavens!" Freddie exclaimed. "You're stealing everyone's socks!"

The little man looked offended.

"Stealing? How terribly rude. We are relocating them for scientific purposes."

"What scientific purposes?"

The man adjusted his monocle.

"Left socks have extraordinary properties. They are naturally attracted to washing machines, poorly organized drawers, and people who insist on wearing sandals with socks."

Freddie stared.

"That's ridiculous."

"Young man, science is simply ridiculousness wearing a laboratory coat."

The little man introduced himself as Professor Wobblebottom, chief sock relocation officer.

He explained that his department had been collecting left socks for centuries because they were essential ingredients in a secret invention: the world's first self-folding laundry machine.

Unfortunately, the machine had developed a personality.

And it was hungry.

"How hungry?" Freddie asked.

Professor Wobblebottom looked uncomfortable.

"Well, yesterday it ate the mayor's trousers."

Freddie blinked.

"All of them?"

"Every pair. Including the ones he was wearing."

At that exact moment, a terrible metallic growl erupted from somewhere beneath the library.

The floor shook.

A washing machine with twelve spinning wheels, three enormous metal arms, and a blinking red eye burst through the wooden door.

It roared:

"MORE SOCKS! MORE SOCKS!"

Professor Wobblebottom screamed.

"IT'S ESCAPED!"

Freddie ran.

The machine chased him through the library, swallowing books, curtains, and one extremely unfortunate encyclopedia.

The professor threw a handful of socks at it.

"Take these! They're cashmere!"

The machine paused.

"INSUFFICIENT."

Freddie spotted a large red button on its back.

"What's that?"

"Emergency shutdown!" shouted the professor.

"Why didn't you press it?"

"Because it says DO NOT PRESS!"

Freddie rolled his eyes.

"That's practically an invitation."

He leaped onto the machine, grabbed a metal handle, and pressed the button.

There was a tremendous explosion of bubbles, glitter, and flying underwear.

Then silence.

The machine stopped.

A small mechanical voice whispered:

"Would you like your laundry folded?"

Freddie stared at it.

"Yes, please."

The machine immediately folded itself into a neat square.

Professor Wobblebottom wiped his forehead.

"Magnificent! You've saved the town!"

The following morning, the mayor announced that all missing socks would be returned.

Unfortunately, there was one small problem.

The machine had become confused during its shutdown and had exchanged everyone's socks with everyone else's.

The mayor received seventeen pink socks.

Mrs. Puddleton received a pair of enormous woolen socks belonging to a professional basketball player.

And Freddie discovered that his left sock had been replaced by a tiny knitted sweater.

Nobody complained too much.

After all, the town had bigger problems.

Three days later, the library's books began disappearing.

And from somewhere beneath the building came a familiar metallic voice.

"MORE TROUSERS! MORE TROUSERS!"

Professor Wobblebottom packed his suitcase.

Freddie sighed.

"I knew I should have stayed home."

In Bumblewick, the strangest thing about strange things is that they rarely happen just once.

The End

Short Story Written By: Tonya R. Bennett