Wit
Lady, Just Get Back in Your Car
I read this joke a couple of days ago on the internet. A man is driving his five-year-old to a friend's house. Suddenly, another car speeds in front and cuts them off. They almost have an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later, he realises the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says, "Too late, Douchebag."
By Calvin London8 months ago in Humor
If We Took Instructions Literally, Civilization Would Collapse by Thursday
We live in a society held together by one fragile, invisible thread: the collective understanding that no one is taking the instructions literally. This is the unspoken covenant of civilization.
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
Inside the Gym of Chad “Thunderbuns” Wilson, The World’s First Mentagonist™
When I accepted an internship at The Pompous Post, I imagined journalism. Investigations, serious interviews, and possibly a press badge. Instead, last Tuesday morning, I was handed a clipboard and told:
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
The Disappearance of Common Sense (As Told by Warning Labels)
There was a time when products trusted us to use them correctly. A ladder did not need to remind us not to stand on the very top rung. A candle did not feel compelled to clarify that fire, historically speaking, is hot. Shampoo did not warn us that it was not to be consumed as a breakfast smoothie.
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
Plain Pasta, Part 2
I met Kira at the entrance of the 12-story building where the Italian rented his apartment and went up to the sixth floor. The building itself was notable — one of the few high-rises in central Bishkek built from an individual design rather than a standard Soviet brutalist blueprint. For those of us raised in cramped five-story blocks and Khrushchev-era apartments for the proletariat, it was intriguing just to see the inside. “At least for that reason, the evening won’t be wasted,” I decided.
By Lana V Lynx8 months ago in Humor
The Lie of Rich Corinthian Leather (And Other Things We Believed Because a Man With an Accent Said Them)
There was a time when a man could look into a camera, gently stroke a car seat, and convince an entire nation that luxury had a birthplace. That place was Corinth… Or so we were told.
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
Keep Practicing
BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! ~Keep practicing! Well one day you just might be a, um..a writer? It truly means so much to me to have such heartfelt insights from the side-lines from unknown sources. Sorcerers? Smiley face! Gots to smile! Let's see what ole Rock can do about this.
By ROCK aka Andrea Polla (Simmons)8 months ago in Humor
America’s Untapped Energy Crisis May Be Closer Than We Think...
For decades, policymakers, scientists, and think tanks alike have searched desperately for a clean, renewable, domestic energy source. One capable of freeing the nation from its dependence on fossil fuels. Solar has promise. Wind has potential. Nuclear remains controversial.
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
The Bionic Herald Declares War on the Grey Lady...
EDITOR’S NOTE: The Pompous Post recently came into possession of the following document while rummaging through the digital equivalent of a filing cabinet marked “Probably Important.” What appears to be the opening salvo in a potential journalistic battle royale (a term we are using in the broadest sense and without paying any royalties to Vince McMahon) raised enough questions about integrity, tradition, and the future of news that we felt obligated to share it. We believe in transparency, facts, and letting readers decide for themselves… especially when the gloves come off.
By The Pompous Post8 months ago in Humor
