Satire
🍉 BREAKING: Watermelons Declared Endangered — America Spirals Into Melon Meltdown. AI-Generated.
It started with a fungus. It ended with an entire country in full fruit-based hysteria. This is the story of what happens when you take away summer’s juiciest icon—and people lose their rind.
By Travis Johnsonabout a year ago in Humor
Why Crocs Are the Official Footwear of the Apocalypse
INTRO: THE END IS NIGH… AND IT’S COMFY When the four horsemen ride into town, you can bet they won’t be rocking Yeezys. When Wi-Fi dies, Starbucks becomes a post-apocalyptic war zone, and Amazon Prime falls like the Roman Empire, one shoe will rise from the ashes like a rubber Phoenix: Crocs.
By The Pompous Postabout a year ago in Humor
How Government Spending Works… Without Numbers
Welcome to the magical land of government spending, where math is a myth, accountability is an endangered species, and the national debt is just a number we chant before sacrificing logic to the gods of lobbying. If you've ever wondered how your tax dollars are used, abused, or lost behind a vending machine at the Pentagon, then this guide is for you!
By The Pompous Postabout a year ago in Humor
The Planet Where Everyone’s Your Ex
It all started with a smoothie and a minor asteroid field. I should have known not to fly after guzzling a Strawberry Spirulina Disaster from Galaxy Smoothiez™, but I was late for a cargo run and figured: “What’s the worst that could happen?” Spoiler: total ship failure, emergency landing, and stumbling into the single weirdest planet I’ve ever encountered.
By Muhammad Hamzaabout a year ago in Humor
5 Internet Trends We’re All Embarrassed We Participated In
1. The Ice Bucket Challenge That Most of Us Did Without Donating Remember when dumping a freezing bucket of ice water on yourself became the ultimate social media flex? In 2014, you could not scroll for five seconds without seeing someone shrieking oh my god it is so cold while their friend dumped a bucket over their head and filmed it on a potato quality phone camera.
By Skipper Domiabout a year ago in Humor
Interviews with Americans Enraged at Zohran Mamdani Eating With His Hands
Our journalists visited the food carts, restaurants, bars, and country fairs of America this week, to interview ordinary folks about the controversy that has erupted across the nation - New York State Assemblymember Zohran Mamdani eating biryani rice at a Bangladeshi restaurant in Astoria, Queens, with his hands.
By Scott Christenson🌴about a year ago in Humor
Mars Rover Finds...Itself. Top Story - July 2025.
From the Associated Press (July 2025): Recent reports from NASA have shown that one of the rovers used to navigate and study the terrain of the Red Planet has suddenly discovered its own inner balance and peace of mind.
By Kendall Defoe about a year ago in Humor
Manifesting a Better Life Using Only Expired Condiments and Positive Vibes
🌈 Welcome, seeker of shelf-stable enlightenment. You’ve tried it all: Vision boards. Journaling. Screaming into a crystal shaped like Gwyneth Paltrow. And yet… your life remains one existential pothole away from a full spiritual blowout. Well, what if I told you that the answer to your dreams isn’t in a self-help book or a TikTok tarot card? It’s in your fridge... In the door... Behind the pickles. Lurking with mysterious crust around the cap…
By The Pompous Postabout a year ago in Humor
