Persephone’s Pool

Ares, of course, was team Apollo, and Aphrodite joined Dionysus on his side of the net. Eris and Pan joined them while Athena and Themis joined Apollo and Ares. Hermes was up in a lifeguard stand. How’d he get here ahead of me? Oh, yeah—he was wearing his sandals.

They looked fairly evenly matched, but Team Dionysus looked like trouble waiting to happen.

“It looks like team Apollo has chosen Ares to serve first, and whoa! They don’t call him the god of war for nothing, sports fans. Aphrodite takes a face full of water from that unreturnable serve.”

Dear Mother and Father on Olympus, Hermes thinks he’s on ESPN, giving everyone color with the play-by-play.

Ares served straight to Aphrodite again, but this time, Dionysus dove under and came up in front of her to set the ball up for her to hit it, and she spiked it right in front of Athena, drawing comments from Hermes about failing to see love or wisdom in the move while Themis called foul on Dionysus’s unconventional set up.

Dionysus shrugged and told her, “Cool your jets—it’s just a friendly family game, not Beijing 2008.”

“Typical,” Themis replied. “Scale down the event to minimize your deviance from protocol. I’m surprised you’re not draining wineskins in the pool.”

Dionysus rolled his eyes and said, “No wonder no one ever built a temple in your honor.”

“Every courtroom in Greece is a temple in my honor,” Themis replied.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Themis,” Apollo jumped in. “A courtroom isn’t a temple in your honor any more than a fireplace is a temple honoring Hestia.”

Hermes produced a whistle and blew it to get the game back in play before Apollo started bragging about having the most temples in his honor. Everyone got tired of that a couple of thousand years ago.

“It’s 1-0 team Apollo, and team Dionysus puts the ball in Pan’s hands, or hooves, never could figure that one out. Alright, it looks like we’ve got a game! Apollo returns, and Aphrodite sets the ball for Dionysus, but there’s Ares with a forceful return. Pan’s ready for it, sending it across the net to Athena. There’s the set, and here’s Apollo with the spike! Denied!! Dionysus blocks and slams it down with a splash on Apollo’s side of the net. Point, team Dionysus, and we’re tied, one all.”

Hermes took a deep breath and reclined in his wooden throne. “Maybe my sister can talk someone into bringing a cup of that punch up here.”

There was a flurry of motion on the porch, and some little nymph in a bikini batted her eyes at Hermes as she delivered his punch. Eris took the opportunity to pitch a fit about no one hitting the ball to her.

I decided to leave them to it and see if Calypso and Circe had made it back from their joyride yet.

Pan winked at me as I walked past that end of the pool.

I stopped at Hermes’s lifeguard stand and told him to loan me his sandals so I could find Circe and Calypso. He hesitated until I suggested Hephaestus drop his chariot in an Alabama junkyard.

They were a little big on me, but I tightened the straps and made do. It occurred to me that Cerberus may be useful if he didn’t trip over his ears. In fact, I could send him to locate them, then guide them home or fetch me to them. I whistled for him, and he came bounding to me. Calliope and her sisters lavished him with attention, but dogs have no love like their love for the lady of the house.

I explained the situation to him. Say what you will about dogs not understanding, but their inability to speak with language has no bearing on what they comprehend. To make sure he understood, I produced a scrap of Calypso’s gown that had ripped away in last night’s melee. I decided to give the sandals a try and took a running start back towards the pool. Before I knew what was happening, I landed next to my brother in his glorified stand just in time to hear Apollo suggest that I would build a temple in his honor down here. As if.

Hermes laughed so hard he nearly fell into the pool, handing his megaphone to me.

“Yes, Apollo,” I began. He froze like he just lost a staring contest with Medusa. “Perhaps you can begin planning it over dinner tonight. There’s a seat for you at Tantalus’s table. He’ll advise you on whether I would prefer to construct it in upper or lower Tartarus.”

The entire pool rocked with laughter, and Hermes did a gainer into the water, splashing everyone by landing in a cannonball. Showoff.