Nothing in My Wallet

Can someone please tell Jennifer Garner to stop asking me what's in my wallet?

Nothing.

There is nothing in my wallet.

Jennifer Garner’s lovely face and gorgeous smile are everywhere. She's starring in Five Star Weekend on Peacock, making delicious food, jetting off to beautiful places, wearing adorable outfits, and every five minutes she pops up asking me, "What's in your wallet?"

Jen (I hope she’s okay with me calling her that)...

Anxiety.

An unpaid parking ticket.

An expired buy-one-get-one-free card for Vitality Bowls.

That's what's in my wallet.

The only traveling I'm doing is from my house to work and back again. My "vacation" is walking around my rundown neighborhood trying not to get chased by loose pit bulls while I'm getting my steps in.

I'm currently deciding whether I need vegetables more than I need a new bra because the girls stopped being supported about two months ago, but I had to replace my car battery.

The thing is, I actually like Jennifer Garner. She seems genuinely kind. I remember hearing she gave someone the shoes off her feet one time. I'm not looking it up because I want to keep believing she's that person. 

Which is why I need someone to tell her, gently, politely, that I am too poor to keep answering questions about my wallet. The interrogation is affecting my mental health, and I don’t think the star of 13 Going on 30 wants that on her conscience. 

For the record, I am enjoying Five Star Weekend. I finished episode five last night. Jennifer Garner is excellent.

My bank account just isn't.