Mom, Aren't You Glad I'm Not Addicted to Drugs?

So how many chickens did you think you were living with this year? I said to my daughter and she answered, "A solid 21 with one rooster so far, and a baby goose." Oh yes, the baby goose for Dave, right? "Right! The baby goose to help Dave to forget about the chickens."

"He was so worried about all the shit as we free range them remember and they are all over everywhere, which means so is their excrement." Excrement? "Yes Mom, their shit!" I know what excrement is. Why are you saying that instead of shit? "I thought you would prefer that."

I'm with Dave. I think fewer is better, but it isn't up to me.

"Mom, remember the chicken I told you is always disappearing? And we were thinking she was dead or got carried off by a predator?" Yes. "Well Mom, on Sunday morning that chicken came walking up to the house with 10 baby chicks with her."

What? Are you kidding me?

"No kidding. She just walked up to the house with 10 baby chicks. They were all so cute. All fluffy and adorable."

Where did they all come from?

"Mom, Belt buckle sat on them and hatched them."

Belt buckle? How did she get her name?

"Greyson named her. Almost all of our chickens have names. We don't always remember all of their names but we remember our favorites and who named them."

I thought Belt buckle left home. How did she get pregnant. She must have had me on speaker phone as I soon heard Dave and Brynn saying how they can have babies from the rooster even after 21 days and then one said after two weeks.

I really didn't care which it was, I only cared that this chicken was smart enough to go off and have babies that no one could eat. I said, what kind of chicken is this?

"Mom, Belt buckle is the same as all of the rest. Only she decided she didn't like hanging around with the others. She didn't like being in the coop."

Apparently no one told Belt buckle about the predators in the neighborhood. Wait you did say you thought the guys peeing in the woods and all the noise your kids make would scare predators away, right?

"Right. That's what I think. Can you believe it though Mom, now we have 30 chickens, so far, remember one of the others died."

What do you mean, so far?

"Well, we have to find where she nested to see if there are others."

I have never heard of this before. Then two days later she calls and we were talking about other things when she brings up the chickens. They found the nest. It was under one of their wood piles. Belt buckle had a couple more eggs there but they weren't viable.

As we talked about that she mentions, "Mom, Belt buckle took her babies and went back to their nest on Sunday night. We looked on Monday morning, and Brynn heard a chick chirp and that is how we found them."

"We lock them in the coop for now. We have littles, middles and bigles now because of Belt buckles babies."

Then I said, how is your garden. Did you plant your vegetables you got?

"Not yet, Mom. I have to either put a fence around my garden spot with a net to cover it or the assholes will wreck it! I do have some large pots that they are in temporarily. Out of sight. Last year the garden did well until the chickens figured out it was food, then they cleaned it out!"

They ate your corn, squash and beans?

"Mom, they will eat anything!"