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Most recently published stories in Humor.

Pileated
I was stuck in traffic, and I was going to be late again. I berated myself for not leaving earlier. Staring ahead, I could only see miles of vehicles. Changing the radio to AM 2375 to listen to the traffic report, I began impatiently thrumming my fingers on the steering wheel.
By Mother Combsabout a year ago in Humor
🧠 The Day Everyone Could Hear Each Other’s Thoughts. AI-Generated.
📌 What If Thoughts Were No Longer Private? Imagine waking up and being able to hear everyone’s inner voice. Not their spoken words, but their real, uncensored, unfiltered thoughts.
By Ahmet Kıvanç Demirkıranabout a year ago in Humor
What Was It This Time?
I was watching an old episode of Gilligan's Island. Ok, I know, they're all old now. Anyway, it's the one where they all get superhuman powers. Because of the radioactive vegetables. You know, just regular Gilligan's Island stuff. When suddenly! (of course 'when suddenly', that's just how these things work). When suddenly Gilligan turns and looks right at me through the screen and says, "Scotty, come here we need your help," all urgent like. And then I'm just there. On the island, standing next to Gilligan. And all the other characters are there too. But they're not in the radioactive vegetables episode anymore. Instead, some weird talking seaweed has been washing up on shore, and the professor has called a meeting to figure out what to do about it. He introduces me as Han Zon, well known marine biologist and expert in talking seaweed. Apparently I have just swum to the island from a shipwreck. I have been guided by dolphins because, as luck would have it, I have studied their language and we get along swimmingly, so to speak. As the professor blahs on about my marvelous qualifications to help deal with the talking seaweed, I stare nervously at Ginger. I've undressed her in my mind many times as a thirteen year old pervert, but now in the presence of the real Ginger I feel like an awkward fool, in other words just my normal self. The Professor finishes up and turns to me. "So Mr. Zon what can you tell us?" I realize I'll just have to make it up as I go. "Well," I start, "Talking Seaweed, scientifically known as Seaweedicus Hablababla, speaks only in code. Unfortunately, nobody has ever been able to crack their code."
By Dan Westabout a year ago in Humor
To Serve and Protect
The greatest invention in the world is the doggy door. No longer do I have wait on the bear-snoring, slumbering form that is my human, Momma, to bumble out of bed to let me out to take care of my business. Honestly, and probably a glimpse into my occasionally petty mind, I think it took stepping in one too many of my perfectly placed accidents early in the morning before she finally installed the cherished doggy door.
By Alexandria Stanwyckabout a year ago in Humor
Johnny the Unlucky
Johnny wakes. There's a kink in his neck. It hurts like a bitch. He winces, stretching doesn't help. But he has to move his ass.
By Sam Spinelliabout a year ago in Humor
The Dead End Mall
As the early spring rain pattered, tickling the car windshield, Val cautiously drove from the merchandising meeting, the marketing influencer attended, inside the ghostly beach front boardwalk hotel. Peering to her left, the collegiate University, where the gaming schemer studied, made its landmark appearance, reminding the successful entrepreneur, where everything was headed.
By Marc OBrienabout a year ago in Humor
10 Hypocritical Lies Society Tells You (But Never Follows Itself)
Ever notice how society loves to spew advice it never really follows? Though we are advised all the time to "be patient," "forgive and forget," or "just be yourself," the instant we do, we get punished. The truth is, life doesn't operate on feel-good clichés; it runs on hypocrisy. So, let's dissect these 10 common contradictions that people love to shove down our throats while doing the exact opposite.
By R.T. Garnerabout a year ago in Humor
A Train Ride To Remember
The 7:47 train was late. Again. Sven had set his alarm to wake him up early, earlier than usual, so he had time to eat breakfast, take his new medication, let that settle, and get to the station in time for his train.
By Maddy Haywoodabout a year ago in Humor
For a Cup of Joe
At 6:30 am, Irving slid his feet into his slippers and cinched his sunflower yellow dressing robe at his waist. He shuffled towards the kitchen, straight for the coffee pot. Life was always better after a cup or two.
By Killianabout a year ago in Humor
🎭 The Day Everyone Told the Truth. AI-Generated.
📌 What If No One Could Lie? We all tell little lies every day. • “I love your new haircut!” (Even if it’s awful.) • “No, I wasn’t ignoring your message, I just didn’t see it.” (You definitely saw it.)
By Ahmet Kıvanç Demirkıranabout a year ago in Humor
I Will Fix Everything
Thank you for coming today. It’s great to see all you guys in press pool. Even you, Tucker. How’s your head from last night? Too much of the good stuff, huh? I have some very important news about policies that we’ll be implementing. But first, I will confirm that I will not be seeking a fourth term. I know, I know, we’ve had a wonderful time these past eight years but, to be honest, I know I’m getting older and I don’t get to golf nearly as much as I would like. No one thought I would get a third term, kept saying it was unconstitutional, well we showed them. Just like with that birthright citizenship thing. Never should have been in there, don’t know what those guys were thinking or drinking. You know what I mean? Anyway. I know that I’ll be leaving this country in good hands. Sure, sure, there’s an election later, but really, who doesn’t want four more years of this administration? And who’s going to vote against such an amazing man as our Vice President, Vladamir Putin? He was great, really helped get my agenda through this past term. Wonderful guy. JD was nice, too, but Putin really showed us what could get done. Such a patriot to take a step back from running his own country to help fix ours. And who knew that he’d been born on an American Military Base. Such an amazing story. Did you see that documentary? So real. What was that? You still want to see his birth certificate? Why would you ask that? That’s just rude. You saw the documentary. Then you know there was a fire on the base. Don’t ask stupid questions. Take that guy’s pass after this. He doesn’t need to be in the room. Anyway, the real reason I’m here is to announce a new policy that is going to revolutionize our country and finally fix our broken Social Security and Medicaid system. I am going to fix everything!
By Sean A.about a year ago in Humor
Tweethearts
A small flock of starlings had gathered on the hydro lines around a lamp post. It was a pleasant evening in early spring and most of them were preoccupied with romance. Benny, the biggest and oldest of the bunch had been regaling them with an in depth recounting of his love life. Among those listening were partners Frank and Ella, the two who had just flown in from parts south; and Harry and Denise who had been living in the general neighborhood for two years. They liked it there and had decided to put down stakes and call it a life.
By Marie McGrathabout a year ago in Humor