Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Humor.
Grocery Store Jokes: Bringing the Aisles to Life with Laughter
Grocery stores might be the most underrated places for humor. Between picking out fresh produce, hunting for deals, and navigating crowded aisles, there's plenty of everyday stuff that can spark a chuckle or two.
By JokeJesterabout a year ago in Humor
The Early Bird Gets Ambushed?
Bright and early today, I woke up. The sun had yet to rise, but I was ready to take on the day. Heading to the kitchen, I wondered what to have for breakfast. Flicking on the lights, my eyes focused on the XL pizza box on the table. Opening the box, I saw a large cheese pizza with four missing slices. Closing it, I wondered who had been irresponsible enough to leave it out—then a thought struck me. Maybe it was breakfast? But who would have pizza for breakfast? Are there even shops open to deliver pizza this early? Putting that aside, I decided to eat before tackling this mystery. I settled on two boiled eggs with Arabian-style sesame seed garlic naan and a cup of apricot tea. The kitchen smelled like a bakery. Sitting by the open window, I took a bite—it was like a mother’s love. The clarified butter goodness combined with the rich garlic taste was overwhelming, but pairing it with a sip of apricot tea? Now that was magical. After finishing, I cleaned up. Now, it was time to put on my detective hat and solve the mystery of the day. Creeping through the silent hallways—which today gave off an eerie vibe—only added to the intrigue. Peeking into Mom’s room, I saw her still asleep, wearing a sleep mask. Next, I headed to my younger sister’s room and immediately felt like I’d entered a black hole—literally, not a speck of light. After waiting a few seconds for my eyes to adjust, I spotted a limp arm hanging off the bed. Confirming she was asleep, I slipped out. That was scary. Tiptoeing to my brother’s room, I was greeted by chaos. The nightlight was on, and the floor was a mess—barely visible under the clutter. Turning to the bed, I saw a lump under the blankets. Returning to the living room, I sat on the sofa, puzzled. If everyone’s home asleep, who ordered the pizza? A wiggling sound interrupted my thoughts. Turning toward the noise, I saw the doorknob twisting. Immediately, I jumped to my feet, dimmed the lights, and armed myself with an umbrella and a roll of bubble wrap. I stood in the foyer, ready to defend my home. As soon as the door opened, I hurled the bubble wrap at the intruder and kicked him in the back. With a thud, he hit the ground. I started whacking him with the umbrella, yelling, "Mom! Thief! Mom! Thief!" (Since I have no vocal power, I knew this would take a while.) A crash, some swearing, and a stampede later, Mom and my sister arrived—hair disheveled and clothes rumpled. "Wait… where’s Brother?" I asked. "Is the idiot still sleeping?" The answer came from the figure on the floor. "Not an idiot! Let me up, please!" Stepping back, I watched as the body stood and removed the bubble wrap. Voilà! There was my brother. I smacked him on the head. "Why are you here and not in bed?" Mom intervened, and soon, we were all in the kitchen eating pizza for breakfast while my brother nursed an ice pack. Then, he began his tale. He’d joined the soccer club, which required members to stay in peak condition—morning jogs and meditation were part of the routine. So, he woke up early, ordered a pizza, and left the house, grabbing a shawl. "For all his brilliance," he’d left a note on the outside of the door—so any early-riser passing by would know—but obviously, his family wouldn’t. His face lit up as he continued. While sitting on the cold, grassy plain facing the dawn sky, he began meditating. "In and out… in and out… in and out…" He continued until the gentle sun hit his eyes. When he opened them, he saw a scene straight out of a fairytale. The transition from dark to light was beautiful—but something else stole the show. From a small grassy hill near our home, a snow-white bunny peeked out, gazing at the sun. It hadn’t noticed him yet. He watched as the bunny closed its eyes, folded its little paws, and sat there. "Was it praying? Meditating? Am I dreaming? Did I fall asleep?" he asked himself. I had my doubts—maybe he’d taken a brief nap and imagined it—but from the awe on his face, I think he truly witnessed something magical. On his way home, he’d been so excited that he couldn’t wait to share his story. "I can totally picture the bunny wearing pajamas, doing its morning ritual," he said. Now, I felt guilty. So, I baked him a triple chocolate cake as an apology. Do you think it’ll work?
By Staringaleabout a year ago in Humor
The Ant Who Never Gave Up
It began with a picnic. The sun was warm, the breeze was soft, and the park was buzzing—literally. I had taken a break from my noisy city life to enjoy some peace, a sandwich, and a good book. But what caught my attention that day wasn't the story I was reading—it was the tiniest drama unfolding at my feet.
By Ahmad Malikabout a year ago in Humor
Bless Your Heart and Pass the Wi-Fi.
Bless Your Heart and Pass the Wi-Fi: A Grit, Grace, and Google Maps Story There in Willow Creek, that quaint little town where sweet tea stuck to the air like clinging granny women gossip and magnolias burst onto sidewalks like tacky scandal, this was Mabel Jenkins' home. She was the type of woman who could take a thing as ordinary as last week's pot roast and a can of cream of mushroom soup and make it into king-worthy casserole. Her knitting, her peach cobbler, and refusing to give out the Wi-Fi password were all legend-status in town. Mabel would just say, "Bless your heart, some things are just too precious to give away."
By Pen to Publishabout a year ago in Humor
World Leaders React to Imminent Alien Invasion . Top Story - May 2025.
Israel — We Sold Them Mobile Phones In a bold preemptive move, Israel's Ministry of Defense announced it had successfully marketed “Earth's finest communication devices” to the extraterrestrial fleet. “Our agents disguised as Verizon sales reps convinced them the Galaxy S24 Ultra was a 'peace offering,'” said a spokesperson. “Their self-destruct feature activates at midnight.”
By Scott Christenson🌴about a year ago in Humor
Planet Z-3000: The Peculiar Pollution Report
The sleek, chrome-plated scout ship, the Bureaucracy-Bot 5000, descended through a haze of what the onboard diagnostic system identified as "Suspended Atmospheric Particulates – Type 7 (Organic Decay & Hydrocarbon Byproducts)." Below, a swirling metropolis of towering structures, blinking lights, and an unnerving symphony of honks and rumbles unfolded.
By Mian Nazir Shahabout a year ago in Humor
