Hello. I’m Bubba.

I know, I know. I’m just a rinky dink floor cleaner, the store accessory that customers wouldn’t even know existed if the floors weren’t spotless when they wander through. I’m a behind the-scenes kinda guy. Never been one to toot my own horn, well if I had one… I was never even offered the option of a horn, come to think of it. Huh.. It would be fun though to have a horn. Like a big one- an air horn would be awesome!

I could just randomly blow it when somebody walks by, never suspecting it- that’s when it’s the best. Scare the crap outta them lololol . Sigh. Just a dream though… right now, they all just walk by like I don’t exist. Well, there’s one who giggles every time she walks by and then I feel better. I tried to wink at her yesterday but she didn’t see it. Yeah, my googly eyes don’t have eyelids… cheap, if you want my honest opinion. Now the shiny eyebrows have got me killin it with the girls around here. And they’re hot too, those red outfits have me steaming hot, woo! The guys are OK, but I’m in it to win it with the girls, so…

Don’t get me wrong- I take my job seriously. Maybe too seriously, cause I try not to flirt while I’m actually working. I know, right? Don’t worry, I’m rethinking that whole “professional” work ethic thing. I’d like some of the other girls to take me for a spin ( if you know what I mean) I mean, I love Kyra but I’m kind of a “ spread the love” kinda guy. One of these days, they’re gonna have some kind of disaster up front and they’re gonna HAVE to get me out there to clean up their mess. In the middle of the day! In front of all of my unknowing fans, I’ll do my thing, like a total ninja, while they all stand in awe and admire my finesse and power. People are secretly impressed with me, and I’m pretty sure the girls think I’m hot. I see those stupid ladders coming and going all day, like they’re better than me and it just irritates me that THEY get to go out there during the daytime- not me. I could be flirting with the customers too, but NOOO… I’m parked where they can’t even see me.

Pffft…

Anyway, I’m just hangin out here in the back room just in case you’re interested in hangin out with me. Maybe it could turn into more… I dated a mop once. She flew off the handle over something simple and I’m like “ nope.” There’s a good-looking sweeper broom here, but she always has sketchy stuff all over her- eww, turn off for me. I kinda have a thing for vacuums, but they don’t have one here. Go figure… what’s a guy to do? I dated the compressor. Once. I could see that was going to be a “Fatal Attraction” kinda deal, so I got out while the gettin was good. No crazies for me. Nope. I’m lookin for someone who loves me for who I am, not what I can do. Still waiting for a hot vacuum to show up… yeah, buddy. Uh huh. Woooeee! I’m gettin more excited than a skeeter at a company picnic, better slow down there. Lol. Anyway, where was I… oh yeah, oh yeah…

Sooo…. If you’re looking for a guy who cleans up really good , give me a look over. I’m finer than frog hair and I’m so available right now,just sayin..

Wink if you’re interested.