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Fatima's MO...

2025 Barbie Story #2

By Tiffany GordonPublished 10 months ago • 3 min read
Fatima James

Hi All,

Happy Holidays 🎄🪅❄️🎁, Doll Mommy here!

Sorry that I left you all on a cliffhanger the last time that we spoke.

If you'll recall, a gal named Fatima James had been soft stalking (social media-only stalking) my handsome soccer star doll son, Kenzo. And you know OG Doll Momma wasn't having that, right? Lol. 🤣

These young ladies of today need to attempt to avoid today's 'Pay Me To Date Me/Look At Me I'm Raunchy' rap music like the plague and head to the library to learn how to buy a clue to their future! 😁

They should try listening to some wholesome 90s R&B instead of the sonic allergy-inducing filth that is on the airwaves these days, but they can certainly bypass the classic 'The Boy Is Mine' track by Brandy & Monica when it comes on because we don't need the aunties promoting catfights to the Gen Z chickadees.

Back in 1902, I mean 1992, when I was in high school, I remember two girls fought over a rabbit-faced, gopher-looking fellow named Raveno Smithereen, who was seeing both of them at the same time and didn't want either of them. I realize that some young ladies are animal lovers, but instead of taking in a two-timing stray rabbit-gopher like Raveno, they could have easily volunteered at the Humane Society 🤣, but I digress. 

Guess what!? I heard through the choir director at my church, who also moonlights as a school counselor at Kenzo's high school, that Fatima James is a Grade A gold-digger that hunts down athletes with pro-potential like a bloodhound hunting for a runaway bride! Lol 🤣

In fact, this morning I did some digging and found out that my source was spot on. After breakfast Kenzo left his Insta open on his laptop that was sitting on the dining room table while he went to check the mail, and I happened to see a pic of him and Fatima in matching outfits from the Vintage Snoop Dogg Doll Clothing Collection on his page.

Take a look, y'all:

????

Fatima was also in another pic wearing his new Seattle Mariners chain that I bought Kenzo for Christmas.

The caption under the pic said, "Thx so much for the jacket & chain, Hubby!"

Say what!? Take a look at this mess, y'all:

The Gold-Digging Menace...

I felt like I had morning sickness when I saw that pic, which is very, very interesting since my tubes have been tied and my eggs have been fried for over a thousand years.

I know that my highly-intelligent, honor roll doll son Kenzo has more sense than to spend his savings to buy a $1000 jacket for a gold digger, right? What do you think, family? Am I overreacting?

Also, Kenzo's chain was nearly two grand. Take a look:

The Bling...

I hope that he was just letting her borrow the chain for her senior pictures or something.

By way of my latest work bonus, that chain was gifted to Kenzo for receiving a soccer scholarship to Howard University, not to be used as a gold-digging chick magnet.

Kenzo just came back in from checking the mail, y'all. He and I need to have a talk, pronto.

I need to warn him about Fatima's gold-digging ways. Perhaps he should invite her to his doll sister Promise's baptism. I hear that church baptisms are an instant repellent for gold-diggers. 

Now please pardon me; I'm gonna go eat 10 pints of Raspberry Jelly Donut ice cream to calm my nerves, and then I'm going to have a good talk with Kenzo! I'll let you know how that goes!

Chat at you later, friend!

Sincerely,

Your favorite Chica & Helicopter Momma, Doll Mommy!

P.S. Please pray for me. I'm hotter than shrimp grease right now!

P.P.S. Keep your phone close, friend! I may need backup! 🫶🏾☺️😁🤣

Funny

About the Creator

Tiffany Gordon

I am a super-spiritual, fun-loving artist, writer, & peer-counselor residing in the Pacific Northwest. I am also an Institute of Children's Literature alumna who enjoys writing about the triumph of the human spirit.

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    Written by Tiffany Gordon