Bring Back The Miserable Weather!

I live in Glasgow, Scotland.

When you think of Scotland, do you think about heat and sunlight? No. You think about Vikings wearing kilts with bagpipes strapped on them, while on top of a mountain, hip-deep in snow.

To be fair, it can get warm here, but it’s unpredictable. The morning could start chilly, so you take your jacket, and later that day, that same jacket that was your protector against the elements becomes a murder weapon. You sweat with every step you take, and it can feel like you’re buried alive in a desert. This isn’t an exaggeration; it's from personal experience.

Summer this year has been particularly brutal—probably the effects of global warming, but who cares about the reason right now. I’m worried about sweat patches on chairs and underarms.

On this particular day, I woke up early and started getting ready to head out to work. Out of habit (and necessity), I took a quick peek out of the window. The glass felt a little cold, and it had obviously been raining during the night. I looked at the sky for final confirmation, and yep, grey clouds. On my way to the door, I grabbed my jacket.

While walking to the train station, I felt proud of myself. It was chilly, and it was clearly going to rain again sometime soon, and I wouldn’t be caught out as I had been before. Spoiler alert... it didn’t rain, and I wasn’t some weather genius.

One interesting phenomenon you can witness in Glasgow is that when the temperature goes above 20°C, a wave of shirtless guys appear. I always thought it was funny how they couldn’t handle the heat. I mean, I grew up in a country where it can hit 40 °C on a normal day! These last few years, though, I completely understood the urge. If it was socially acceptable, I believe even women would be walking about shirtless. That's how hot it felt.

Anyways, back to the main story. I got to work, and all was good. I had been quite busy, and I work in an office building, so I hadn’t had the chance to look outside until I started heading back home. The moment my foot touched the ground beyond the building threshold, I realised how big a mistake I made.

In video games, sometimes when going from an indoor area to outdoors, there is a flash of light until you can see clearly. They're trying to simulate our eyes adjusting to the different light. Since I was inside all day, this happened to me. I was blinded by sunlight for a few seconds, and when my eyes adjusted, I saw people wearing shorts, short sleeves, no sleeves, and no shirts... and I looked like an idiot standing under the sun wearing a black jacket. Someone once told me black clothes retain more heat. I believe them.

Now my journey home was torture. I didn’t have enough space to stuff the jacket in my backpack, and I couldn’t be bothered carrying it. I mean, it’s a straight journey on the train, and then a five-minute walk home, right? Well, unfortunately, I didn’t take into account that everyone else also finished work when I did, and that the train I take home goes right through the busiest train station in Glasgow. Suffice it to say, the train felt like a tin of sardines cooking on the stove.

While on that train, I had a weird, out-of-the-blue thought. Imagine I was in London today? I visited London a few months back, when it was much cooler in the UK, and even then, I thought the London Underground was insanely hot. It literally felt like an oven. Imagine having to use the trains in this hellscape?!

Anyways. I slithered out of the train, dodging babies, prams and old people, and headed home. I walked in, closed the door behind me. Took off my jacket, shirt, trousers and everything else I had on. Switched on the fan and lay flat on the carpet.

A quick note for my friends in other parts of the world: home air conditioning is not a common thing in the UK. Even worse, buildings are generally built with heat retention in mind. Now you won’t be shocked when I say that I lay on that carpet for half an hour.

I learned my lesson, so the following day I took a light jacket and headed to work. All was good in the morning, but in the afternoon, it started raining heavily... I wouldn’t be surprised if I developed a brain aneurysm later in life.