Bra or No Bra? That is the question

Bra or No Bra?

That is The Question

By the time you finally make it home, you've worked eight hours, sat through a meeting that could've been an email, survived rush hour traffic, remembered you were out of toilet paper halfway home, and somehow ended up volunteering for the school bake sale you never meant to. Yup just another Tuesday. There are three universal truths in life.

The Grocery store is always out of the one thing you came there for.

Someone will text “Im outside” before they're actually outside.

The first thing every woman wants to do after walking through the front door is unhooking her bra.

Getting inside your home, dropping the keys and whatever else your hands are full of. Kicking off the shoes and leading a trail of clothes to the closet. The first thing is always the bra, reaching behind your back like you're doing a yoga pose and unclasping those little hooks and for some this is multiple hooks. And letting those girls free, that fresh air coming from underneath and you can exhale. Release those milk jugs and breathe a sign of relief. Especially after traveling across the desert, being from the car to the front door.

Summer, the three months that are the most brutal and the worst to wear a bra. Where everyday you ask “Do I wear a bra today or let them granny hang?” News flash Victoria didn't have a secret, she had a breaking point. The Florida heat has officially won. You know the kind where you step outside and your glasses fog. The type of heat that turns your leather seats into a medieval torture device. You don't sit down- you cautiously lower yourself onto them and pray. Pray before you hear the sizzling sound of your buttox and then get a third degree burn.Forget about touching your steering wheel. You're baking in an oven while the convection fan is on, just blowing on more heat.

While standing in front of your closet, holding a bra in one hand and rethinking every life decision that has led to this moment. Looking up the weather-Says its 98 outside but feels like 111. “Absolutley not”, holding the bra in one hand and thinking of all the bad scenarios that could happen throughout the day. The sweat trickling down your lower back, having to readjust the straps every time they fall down. Readjusting the girls every time you simply move.Let’s not forget the boob sweat and the rubbing up against that sensitive area causing a chiffling rash. Not even a gold bond powder sprinkle is going to save you from this type of heat.

Then you have to decide what type of bra you are wearing, because each one has its own features and ticks like a car. Oh no,no bras are the same. The strapless ones that have that silicone rim around it that is supposed to hold it in place. With 111 degree weather nothing is staying in place, especially your patiencence. Then you have your Sports bra, it's made for boob sweat right? That's the whole point. Nope not even. Wearing a sports bra is putting a sauna directly on your chest. It's suffocating. It takes a team of firefighters to remove it. That should count as a work out in itself. How many calories did I burn just by taking off my sports bra?

Every brand that labels theirs as “breathable fabric” , are the makers living anywhere in the South? You know the hottest states Florida, Texas, Louisiana and Arizona, living here is not for the weak. You know the best way to get out of carpooling is telling everyone your car doesn't have AC. When you are wearing a sports bra with it being boiling point outside you need a built in AC unit just in your bra. Can they make that? A bra that has that magic cooling gel foam that the mattresses have in them. That will be a hot seller.

You're definitely not wearing a Push-Up bra in this heat. Why? So when you get home you can wring out all the sweat that's soaked in the padding like you do your swim suit? No thank you. You have to put panty liners in your bra so the sweat doesn't show through your blouse. Then there are those silicones to go over the nipps so it looks like you are wearing a bra. But then you are peeling them off like a slice of processed cheese sticking to the wrapper. Yup this is an impossible decision to make. It's just a quick errand, go to Target, get starbucks, look for the things you need,maybe grab a thing or two you don't need. There's TJ-Maxx next to Target you can check out the fall decor, it is a spooky season. You don't need a bra to run errands. But what if we run into someone we know, people will stare, people will know, the bra police will hook me up.

You look outside and not a cloud in the sky, the sun is just blazing. You can feel it through the window. Why did I have to get the SUV with the leather seats?You got this. Holding the bra in your hand, the wire free so you aren't feeling like you are getting impelled and having a heat stroke all at the same time. Shoulder one, then shoulder two, stretch and reach. By the third try you got it clasped. You're sweating already just putting it on. Nope you can't do this. You're out of breath already just putting it on. Ripping this thing off. It's impossible to wear this thing when a kid with a magnifying glass is hovering over and you are the ant about to be burned alive. No bra today, It's too hot for this. I need to breathe, the girls need to breathe. Looking around checking to make sure the Bra police aren't going to burst open the doors and handcuff you with the damn thing.

No one Came.

The birds didn't care.

The mailman didn't care.

Even the dog looking up at you as if they haven't been naked their whole life.

Finding that oversized T-shirt that's balled up in the corner and that one pair of shorts that's loose and comfy and going out into the world with zero ounces of F's. If people stare, that's their problem. The tatas are going to be saved today. Walking down the isles, sipping on your iced coffee with the cold foam and looking for that item, you'll know it when you see it. Only to cross paths with another woman who is also wearing a bagging t-shirt and giving each other the “Nod”. The “yeah girl it's too hot for that bra” nod. That look of understanding each other. Then you pass the Bra department and decide to have a look. “Maybe a new bra with less padding, less wire, more comfort. Oh this is a 3-pack score, and my size. Sold.” checking out bras being bra-less. Girl Math. Walking up to the register and reading the sign “No Bra Money Accepted" Jokes on you guys.

So at the end of the day when you're pulling in from girl errands-aka TJ Maxx, ice coffee run, ect. or coming home from that long boss lady work day. Getting out of your AC car to walk into the house and remove that bra! And ask yourself why you wore that one and take a paper towel to dry the boob sweat. Only to start the next day the same. Check the weather it's 97 outside but feels like 109 and humidity 43%. Standing in front of the closet holding a bra in one hand and my dignity in the other. One says Support. The other says freedom. Shakespeare asked, “To be or not to be”. Women ask the real question: Bra or no Bra.