A Conversation Out of the Blue

Do you want a pumpkin latte?

No. I’ve never had one. It doesn’t sound good.

Lots of people like them.

I’m not lots of people.

Are you set in your ways?

No, not yet. I talked to my brother-in-law today.

Where is he?

He’s in Heaven. He said they had a party.

I suppose you’re not like lots of people. How did you come to talk to him?

He died this morning. My sister called to tell me about it. He snuck in a quick, “Tell her I’m okay.” So, I did.

You feel obligated to pass on messages from dead people?

Not all of them. When appropriate. She knows I talk to dead people, so she just said thanks.

How come he didn’t tell you himself?

I’m not sure. For some reason, I can’t seem to get the messages from the dead folk themselves, though I did think of him last night. I knew he was going to go soon, even before his birthday.

And he did.

Yes.

What’s it like talking to dead people?

About the same as it is talking to live ones. You meet a lot of pirates and colorful folk.

Like who?

I talked to Genghis Khan once. It was a long time ago.

What was he like?

Folk in Heaven are evolved, so he wasn’t a warmongering type. He was polite.

Are they ever not polite?

In the beginning. It can be strange. I think it has to do with your expectations. Like, if you think you’re going to be talking to a lot of haunted ghosts. I actually don’t know a lot about ghosts. I’ve only had a few encounters. Folk in Spirit, those in Heaven, are interesting.

Do you talk to a lot of them?

Yes.

Why?

If somebody has something to say, I listen. I did make up one rule when I began channeling.

What was that?

Not everybody can talk at once. One at a time, and I’ll be able to have a conversation with them.

So, what did they do?

They waited for a more convenient time to talk.

Did you ever see them?

Sometimes I do.

Like what do they look like?

Mark Twain always wears a vest. I don’t care how hot it is; it’s like he’s always dressed up. He just said, “Thank you.”

Really?

Yes. Do you want to ask him a question?

Yes. How is it that you could speak of slavery and the condition of blacks in America the way you did?

Well, miss. I speak as I knew life to be, and at the time that was what our life was. I had a lot of friends, and as a writer you need a lot of friends in order to put parts of them in your stories.

You mean you don’t imagine them all?

No, they are composites. You can take three people you’ve known and identify three main characteristics or idiosyncrasies and make one character. It’s what Pauline does.

Well, I haven’t had a lot of practice doing it. But yes, I could try that.

How do I know you’re not lying?

I guess you’d have to take my word for it. Did you ever know somebody named Isabella?

No.

Someone named Isabella was sort of coming in. Just to say hi.

I don’t know who that is.

Don’t worry about it. Just sort of be on the lookout for somebody named Isabella.

A dead person?

Beats me. Just keep your ears open.

How long?

Crap, I don’t know.

Then, why did you tell me?

Look, it was something that came through while I was talking to you. I have no idea what it meant or who Isabella is, though she’s laughing right now. Maybe they’re just having a joke at your expense.

They would do that?

Folk in Spirit do that all the time.

Why?

I don’t know. It’s like they’ve all been smoking joints sometimes.

And, you know this how?

I am an alcoholic. That means I don’t drink and I don’t get into any sort of drug-induced state anymore.

Anymore?

Yes, did you think I was a saint?

Well, no, but people don’t go around talking like that all the time.

More’s the pity. Tell the truth unless it’s going to hurt somebody. Okay, I don’t know why, but somebody in Spirit is tapping their watch. I think I need to wrap this up.

I’m not finished yet.

Well, learn how to channel or go spend some money and visit a psychic.

What will they tell me?

Probably what I just told you. If you do, ask them who Isabella is. I’m getting aunt.

Oh, hell.

What?

That was my pet rabbit when I was little. Could that be her? Why is she a lady?

Folk in Heaven can be whoever they want to be. Humans aren’t the be all and end all of species. Maybe your rabbit Isabella is now a Lady Isabella in Heaven.

Ha. I just got a visual. You’re not going to believe this. I’m picturing Queen Isabella in a beautiful court dress and a little rabbit turd rolled out from under her skirt. Sometimes, Folk in Spirit can be really funny. Just don’t worry about it.