You Never Know Who They Are... Until It's Almost Too Late

There was this very popular guy in my town, well known for his humor. A tall, Black man, completely bald (which I later found out after he removed his hat). He was all over my Facebook, friends tagging him in everything or commenting on his videos and pictures. He wasn't the cleanest cut guy I had ever met but he was very funny. He was that charming type of funny. Or so I thought. He had been frequently liking and commenting on my pictures and videos on Facebook right before I heard my Messenger App ding.

I opened his message. "Are you a mixed girl? Ya know, biracial? Just askin' because of your hair and because you're thick." Of course, I have always had thick, curly, nappy hair 'for a white girl'. I also have thick thighs and wide hips. Hm... How do you respond to that?

"Uh... no I am albino white. My parents are both caucasian, LOL." Awkward. Again, my Messenger dings. "Oh, my bad. Can we hang out? I'd like to take you out." Oh, okay. I'm thinking, I'm down.

So I reply, "Sure, I'm down."

He says "How about tonight?" LIKE WHAT? At this point I'm laying on the couch in some PJs!

He asks me to meet him down the street in an elementary school parking lot so he can pick me. We meet and I awkwardly get in the passenger seat of his pimped out gold Impala, chrome rims, chipped paint job and a whole lot of rust. Before I put my seatbelt on, he whips out of the parking lot as fast as can be. I'm thinking to myself, "WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I barely even know this guy..."

We show up at some fancy restaurant, me wearing business casual clothes and him sagging in some holey jeans, a hoodie, some chains and Jordans. He orders as if this restaurant is a regular for him, appetizers, a big dinner meal, many drinks and dessert. The waitress asks if we're paying together or separate and he says, as though it should be obvious, "One check, ma'am."

The waitress lays the long bill on the corner of the table right before my date excused himself to go to the restroom. I check the bill which came to right under $120. I thought, "My goodness, what did we eat?" I waited and waited for him to return to the table. 15, 20, 30 minutes go by when finally I paid for the meal and went to his car to find him in the driver's seat waiting to leave. I sit in the car, look around and hear "Thank you for dinner, love." Like what?

He starts driving to what I assume will be my car which quickly turned into a driveway. I'm like... does he need to stop somewhere real quick?? He tells me we're at his house for some drinks. 'Oh, okay. Well at least he's paying for the drinks we'll have here.' I think. He tells me to make myself at home and move anything in the way. Did he mean everything? His house was trashed!

I look around, I try not to judge, I watch whatever was on the TV. Adventure Time played. Greeeeat... The stairs were right across from me. Down ran a child. Then another. And a few more. Last, a girl who must've been 10 years old. Me, completely confused, remembered that this guy told me he was 22... Who's this 10-year-old girls father?? He runs in, "Kids, sorry I left you here alone. I want you to run next door to Mrs. Jackson's house while I have company."

Uh... what??? "Um, are those... uh, are you babysitting?" He looked confused.

"No, those are my kids." Whaaaat? All seven of them? Oh okay...

"But I thought you were 22. The oldest one must be 10."

He says, "Ahhh, no I'm 29 and she's 9." So, like I thought the moment I got in the car, I know nothing about this guy...

"Oh okay, well I think I probably better get going. Could you take me to my car?"

He was pissed! "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I thought we were gonna be having sex and you tryna leave?" I thought, boy do not make me walk home... It was the craziest thing I had ever been through, date wise. Long story short, he took me back to my car and we never spoke again.