You leave me speechless

There wasn't much to say about her - if saying nothing meant saying everything.

In truth, Lexi left her speechless.

All she wanted to do was make her happy, loved, noticed. The girl wanted to tell her how much she meant to her, and whilst Lexi acknowledged it, was grateful for it, it didn't feel enough - she wanted to say more, do more but couldn't.

Lexi understood her, saw her, made her feel nothing but the best. In reality, Lexi was her dream girl; the girl wasn't looking for her, but they found each other. The girl knew that together they'd grow and with each other by their side they'd be older, wiser, happier.

Whilst the girl bared her soul, on the inside she felt repetitive and borderline boring. She was in a constant battle: with the seed of anxiety growing in the pit of her stomach against her heart that beat faster with every notification, she thought her anxiety would once again ruin it for her but this time her heart had won.

The same girl that, more often than not, hated herself, wanted to remove herself from other people's lives and die to be seen by the ones she hated had become the girl that saw her own self-worth.

The anxiety in her stomach became nerves, excitement and her mind was full of thoughts about this one girl. She knew that, despite the mood swings and arguments that would eventually come (as everything does) that they would have each other; she would fight for Lexi until the day she died.

Lexi was the girl who saw the greatness within, saw imperfections as perfections and made you believe you were as beautiful as she said you were, and with each compliment and loving text their bond grew. The girl had never been so blessed to find her.

Each night as she reread the lengthy conversations, heartwarming compliments and looked at the stunning photos of the beautiful soul, she thought again of how loved Lexi made her, and how she was doing the same to her by existing.

On days where she wanted to hate herself, be mad at the little things, she simply couldn't because Lexi was there. To listen to, laugh with; a distraction from the minor things but a helper with the major ones.

It hurt, deeply, to know that she couldn't kiss her, hold her - even see her. She spent most nights thinking of how to meet up, but so many ideas at once gave no answer. The thing she was most certain of was that her first time seeinf Lexi had to be perfect - but knowing how both of them were, an embarrassing and awkward meeting would make for a much better story.

Lexi's smile always stuck in the girl's mind; the sincerity of it, how it suited her so well. Then, her laugh: magical. No one would ever get bored of it - even her voice was perfect. How happy she sounded made the girl's heart soar.

The things Lexi didn't think important to herself were astounding in the girl's eyes and she was more than willing to tell her that... if she could. If she knew what to say without it sounding forced or out of place. Compliments had never been the girl's strong suit but Lexi brought that side out of her and when someone looked as attractive and beautiful as Lexi did, they needed to be told.

Even saying Lexi's name made her smile. There wasn't a time when the girl wasn't smiling when talking to Lexi, it was impossible, and the smile grew each time she thought about their future together.

It was hopeful. She knew they would be happy - they had such a deep amount of respect and love for each other. They knew they were soulmates. They knew that having someone to love wasn't hard when it was equal.