You Cannot Buy Love

Love is a feeling. Often times you cannot touch or smell it (unless you count sex and the associated smells), but you know it's there. It provides comfort to you when the world seems hopeless and offers you the promise of a better tomorrow when alone all you can think of is the emptiness around you. The false promises and failed catch-ups, the collapse of politics and the loss of sense, love is the force that drives us forward to a better tomorrow.

Love is a precious commodity. More than money or power, love provides us with focus and meaning in a world of discontent. It is something that I never thought I would find, yet have been lucky enough to do just that.

Meeting at the start of 2017 I was full of hope. Having been part of a few relationships (nothing that had ever lasted for more than a year), I was eager to be a part of something bigger and on a rain-soaked evening, I met my wife to be.

First Impressions

Weren't great. I was nervous and thought that I saw my date (future wife) standing by the pillar but I was too nervous to say anything, so I messaged (cowardly I know). Seeing her look down was disheartening as I'm pretty sure I remember seeing the disappointment in her eyes. 'Why is he texting when he is standing just there'...From that point, we decided to head to the pub opposite the station as the rain was torrential and we wouldn't have made it to the South Bank without getting soaked. This was also met with disappointment and I thought, 'Oh God, what have I let myself in for'.

Crossing the road in silence I went to order a drink as my date (future wife) continued to look unimpressed and I was thinking that this would be a one drink evening but then something changed. As we sat down, we got to know each other, getting through those nervous questions and moving on to enjoying each other's company, relaxing as the evening went on.

Rather than one drink and go, it turned into the start of a five+ year relationship. From dating to being exclusive, boyfriend and girlfriend, to being engaged and now, married, I am so glad that I took the leap of faith and said yes. It was the best decision of my life and whilst I can be guilty of focusing on the negative, which adds a certain level of anxiety in life, I am glad that I believed in the possibility of what could happen. Giving the evening a chance and watching the last few years unfold in front of my eyes.

You Cannot Buy Love

Love is earned. It is taking the moments of silence and uncertainty, moving through them to ensure that the future is one that you have both earned. It is not the Hollywood fairytale in which you are waiting at a station and the love of your life walks off the station to stare into your eyes. This is a dream and nothing more. As much as some people may believe in love at first sight, I do not. I believe in putting yourself out there, engaging with life and remaining positive.

Love is earned. It is not something that can be purchased. It is the opportunity to wake up next to the same person and admire the flaws that make us human. This is said in reflection that everyone is flawed and to pretend that we are perfect is wrong. The route to perfection is paved with flawed intentions and will only leave you with a peg behind your head, holding the skin in place following years of surgery.

Love is waking up at 6:30am and despite the grumblings, knowing that you are happy to do so because the person opposite means more to you than life itself. It is the embracing of everything that makes us human, layered in fun memories and great times that break the mould of the day and let you know that life is worth living.

Love for me is everything and in a world of turmoil, it is something that is worth fighting for.

A Final Thought

Love is essential. It is something that I dabbled in until I took the plunge and started a relationship with my then exclusive date. Something that took me a long time to get up the courage to do and in the end I merely text the question but from that point, I ensured that I asked my questions in person. From asking my wife to move in with me to see if you should like to commit her life to me and in a few years' time, I imagine that the question will turn to starting a family.

Love is something that you cannot buy. As much as some of the wealthier members of the human race would like to disagree with it, it is not a commodity, it is a feeling, a connection that cannot be understood, yet is easy to feel.

Whilst I am lucky enough to have all of my limbs, I always equate love to that feeling of missing a limb. As much as you adapt to it, you never forget and this is in consideration to those couples who go through a divorce, or one of the duo is left widowed. When I am away from my wife I miss her and it feels as though I have left a part of myself at home. She is the first thought of my day and the last before I fall asleep and that is a feeling that is earned, not purchased.

Whilst we may have our differences and are nowhere near being perfect, I know that she is perfect to me. We are perfectly flawed and someone who I get out of bed for. She offers me focus, clarity and hope in a world of challenge and deceit.