Xiao Wang

Tattoos may be drawn on the skin, but often their meaning is much deeper than skin-deep. They are an expression of individuality and self-expression. So why have I decided to have a pair of Chinese characters tattooed on my arm? Once, it was very en vogue to use Chinese characters as artwork, but it has become a fad left behind to another age. After all, what is the appeal of having random words permanently affixed to your skin?

When I was a teenager, I was that shy and reserved nerd. This was during what author Jim Butcher later referred to as the “nerd closet” world, where being unique and passionate about anything but sports marked you as weird and unpopular. I was who I was and I loved things like math and reading, and that was enough to make me an outsider. So, I was quiet and unassuming. I didn’t engage deeply with my peers and kept only a few close friends.

And so it went all the way until I was a sophomore in high school. I was the most quiet and reserved person one would have ever met; awkward in most situations. Then, inexplicably, I did the last thing anyone might have expected, I joined a debate team. Specifically, I joined a fledgling Model United Nations program, a debate team that tackles global issued from the perspective of an assigned country.

I had participated in Model UN as a freshman and had, expectantly, been absolutely quiet during the debate and discussion. The preparation for the conference appealed to me though, learning new things about the world and about the country I was representing, Haiti. Although I was well researched and prepared, I could not overcome my shyness and the conference came and went.

All of that changed when I was a sophomore. That year, we were assigned the country of China. I knew a little about China and was excited to delve into the research and learn about the mysterious country. This was at a time when China was a third-world country and had not yet ascended to prominence on the global stage. In the United Nations, however, China was a permanent member of the Security Council and important.

While preparing for the conference, the school’s Chinese teacher, Bai Laoshi, shared helpful information and research, but I never met him in person. He assigned titles to everyone in the delegation, and my title was the Xiao Wang (it means ‘Little King,’ because, through some accident of fate, I had been recognized as the second-in-command of the delegation).

I am sure the title had nothing to do with it, but something odd happened as I was studying for my role as a Chinese ambassador. I later learned that long ago, the Mongols invaded China and established the Yuan Dynasty. When they took possession of China, they were so overcome by Chinese literature, culture, and art that they quickly adopted it all as their own. The Mongol Yuans became more Chinese than the Chinese they had conquered, and in this way the conquerors became the conquered.

As I studied for the conference, I changed. I found I was deeply attracted to and had an affinity for everything Chinese. The language, the literature, the art… I genuinely loved it all. I went to the conference and took home a first-place win. The quiet, reserved guy that said not a word the year before, won the highest honor in the debate.

I wore that title that the Chinese teacher gave me with pride. The Xiao Wang. The Little King. I grew quickly after that year; I became outspoken and became involved in politics. I started writing in earnest, finally having a voice. I went on to become friends with Bai Laoshi and studied Mandarin and read Chinese classics like The Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

Taking the title ‘Xiao Wang’ changed my life and absolutely altered who I was. Those changes exist to this day. And so, when I finally get a tattoo, I will honor those two characters, Xiao Wang, and place them permanently on my skin because the meaning of those two, simple characters is well more than skin-deep for me.