Will I Be Safe, or a Victim?

Explore a moment in your life where you grappled with your concept of identity.

The moment is now. I’m grappling now.

As I was waiting in the room for the official to help me this morning, I heard loud voices from somewhere down the hall. What if that’s an active shooter? What’s my plan?

I could close and lock the thick wooden door. I could push two heavy upholstered wooden chairs in front of it, turn off the light, then duck into the far corner of the room by the bookcase. If the door opens, I’m a goner. If bullets splinter and spray through the door, but it holds, I could make it. I try to remember what my son told me to do, after he’d had an active shooter drill at his school.

Who thinks like this? Someone grappling with today’s reality. Will I be safe, or will I be a victim? What identity will I embrace? Is there any way I can control this?

I had heard the news in the car on my way to my appointment. Yesterday, 12/6/2023, three people were killed at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. Sympathy to the families of those students whose lives were tragically cut short by a frustrated nobody. One might say “there are no words.” But there are words, such as, Enough! Stop this needless suffering!

Las Vegas was also the site of the 2017 concert massacre, with 59 people killed and hundreds more wounded. Look at PEOPLE magazine to see their photos and read their bios. Fifty-nine people. With six degrees of separation, you might know someone who was there, maybe someone who died. My condolences. The horrors of this, and every mass shooting, are astounding. (https://people.com/crime/las-vegas-shooting-victims-names-photos-tributes/)

It’s truly terrifying to Google “mass shooting.” It’s unbelievable to see how many there have been in the USA. It seems like people are no longer shocked by them. On Tuesday, April 18, 2023, there were seven mass shootings in one day across this country. Seven! This is beyond unacceptable. Why isn’t there more outrage?

Yesterday’s headline in The Hill online stated “Senate Republicans block assault weapons ban, background checks bill.” As reported by Alexander Bolton, “Senate Republicans on Wednesday blocked efforts by Senate Democrats to pass an assault weapons ban and universal background checks legislation after the United States over the weekend broke the record for the most mass shootings in a single year.” Read the end of that sentence again. 2023, the most mass shootings in a single year. Republican Sen. John Barrasso (R-Wyo.) commented “Americans have a constitutional right to own a firearm. Every day, people across Wyoming responsibly use their Second Amendment rights to keep and bear arms.” (12/06/23 1:05 PM ET https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/4345455-senate-republicans-block-assault-weapons-ban/)

There’s a big difference between Second Amendment rights and people’s rights to go about their normal daily business and expect a safe society. And yes, there are many other factors involved, including mental health issues. Yet there have been hundreds of people killed in mass shootings, and that cannot ever be acceptable.

The Senate failed to pass universal background checks. Will it take the death of a senator’s family member before there is action? To have one of their own - a spouse, a child, a grandchild - mowed down by a mad killer while attending church or school, shopping for groceries, attending a concert, or walking down the street? Solutions to America’s shooting problems are seriously needed before it comes to that. Please!

The Sandy Hook Promise website asks and answers, “Is There Support For Background Checks? Yes. More than 97% of Americans, including gun owners, support universal background checks, as well as roughly 80% of Republicans.” (https://actionfund.sandyhookpromise.org/issues/gun-safety/universal-background-checks/ accessed 12/7/2023) This looks like consensus, so it seems like it is beyond the time to get moving on it.

How does this factor into my identity?

I want to identify as an average person who can feel safe in America. I always have. Yet today, loud voices made me think up a quick plan in case of an active shooter nearby. It was proactive; I chose life and safety. The idea of identifying as a victim is truly scary, but there it is, in the back of my mind.