Why you shouldn't live in the past

Now, let's get to the beginning shall we, let's just say I've been in this same boat for many months are quite the dramatic separation from my ex-boyfriend I was scared to love again, not truly knowing that love even had boundaries. I was utterly smitten, not seeing the danger lying right in front of my eyes, dating for roughly seven months - doesn't seem like a long time you say? however in my eyes, I felt like I had known him for years and grown to love him so quickly that it went like the blink of an eye. One moment you're in paradise, the next you're crying on the bedroom floor wondering what went so wrong? In my world, what had gone wrong was a scandalous affair revolving in lies, and the utmost betrayal he was sleeping with another person, behind my back leaving me for numerous nights claiming he was training for the army, but instead the story was entirely different, and that I found out from his sister.

I spent months getting over him, trying to move on but everywhere I looked there he seemed to be, nothing hurt more than every sleepless night thinking about why I wasn't good enough... but the thing is, I was good enough he just didn't appreciate that, or see me for what I truly was a loving girlfriend. I won't lie moving on meant being rather crazy, not knowing what to do so I drank, not knowing who to speak to, so I remained lonely and broken-hearted. I don't recommend this method to anyone, it's not how you move forward in life, stop letting fear conquer what you believe is right for you? don't let society judge you for hurting and getting over that anyway you know how, whether that's sleeping around, or going out with your friends on weekend drunken adventures.

But, here is where we get to the important part, my advice on why you shouldn't let the past control you, now you may be wondering how can you trust again after so much pain? or, maybe you're just worried that you are the burden, that you are not worthy of being loved or even loving somebody back - wrong! Every person has a past, sometimes we're ashamed of that, sometimes we hide that, and sometimes we just can't accept that pain isn't entirely our fault - I came to a realisation when falling in love again, not everyone is the same, not every man is out there to break your heart into a million pieces, leaving you sobbing while they speak about the wrongs they've committed, and not every relationship is going to be perfect but that's life, not everything is easy - and love is the hardest challenge of all. I met a boy, starting a new job we bumped into one another, we could both feel it then, something was bound to blossom between us, his eyes melted the coldness in my heart - but it was his touch, openness and overall charm that made me fall.

I hadn't thought about getting in a relationship, I never thought it would happen, but six months after that heartbreaking night learning the truth, a friendship sparked - one that turned into much more, and now we've been dating for two years. I know moving on is hard, I know forgetting someone like that isn't easy and believe me I haven't completely forgotten but I'm getting over it - moving past pain is a long process, but it is worth every fibre of your being, because you never know when the perfect opportunity for happiness is going to bump into you. Being scared of loving, is a problem we cause ourselves, if we learn to admit that not everything is meant to work, that we can't change our partners or our past, than soon moving forward doesn't become a hard terrifying challenge, instead if becomes an roller-coaster with many erratic turns but in the end you'll reach your destination, and everything will have been worth it.

Please share this with anyone going through a break up right now, let them know that even though it seems stormy outside right now, there are bright horizons up ahead.