Why You Are Still Single (Part 2)
The Single Series
As I wrote in my best selling book, Hello Love, Where's Cupid? 2nd Ed and I wrote in the previous post, there are many reasons why you could still be single. Most likely you are sabotaging your chances at finding someone, based on your own behavior. Sometimes it's as easy as to NOT do the following when out on a date and when out looking for love. Here are 5 more reasons as to why you are still single:
6- You are oversharing too fast..
Making a full disclosure within first few meetings can be disastrous since you are not aware how the other person is going to react to the “skeletons” you reveal. Again, our new date doesn't need to know why you hate your family, why your previous relationships didn't work, your money issues, etc. Remember, less history equals more mystery. By oversharing too fast, you have shown all the cards in your hand to your opponent. So now, you in turn give him or her more power over you and your emotions.
7- You have fantasy-like, unrealistic ideas about the opposite sex...
Sadly some women just want to meet a tall, handsome guy who has money and other perks that will make them live happily ever after. The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the Prince goes off with the wrong Princess. If all you want is to be somebody's “trophy wife,” you really are setting yourself up for disaster, heartbreak, and torture. Relationships shouldn't be based on looks, money, or perks. Relationships should be based on personality, compatibility, and civility. There’s a difference between being picky and being discriminating. Being picky is about focusing on traits and other details that look good on the surface. Being discriminating is about using good judgment and focusing on how well a man treats you and how you connect with him. (Same for a man, a woman should treat you with respect as well.)
You must be clear about what qualities you’re willing to live with and what you can’t live without.
In today's society, we are all told that men need to be with someone “hot” and that women need to find a man with money. Don't fall for what society tells you. Look at how screwed up it is. Never apologize for having HIGH standards because people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them. Stop dreaming about the fairy tale, stop wanting a guy to put you on a pedestal, and stop wanting the movie-like romance. Relationships are REAL.
8- You keep going after the wrong partner.
This happens more than people realize. There is such a thing as “Bad boy complex” whereas women are attracted to a guy who is labeled as a bad boy type. Those guys are just after one thing. They aren't after having a relationship. They are after scoring with you and moving forward, playing head games, and acting as if they care when they don't. Or you are attracted to guys who are not emotionally available. Physically they want to spend time with you, but emotionally they don't know if they are coming or going. If you don't love yourself first, you will constantly be chasing people who don't love you either.
9- You don't take care of yourself.
If you constantly let yourself go, no wonder no one wants to date you! We all want someone who takes care of themselves. Not just with your appearance, but inside and out. Self-esteem is so important. What you think and believe about yourself is just how others will think and treat you.
10- You're being judgmental and insecure.
We all judge, we're human. But there's a difference between having an opinion and judging someone based on outer knowledge. Hating on other women because you are insecure about who you are is something men can't stand. It's one thing to want the same clothes, hairstyle, and shoes, but it's another when the jealousy gets so deep that all you do is compare yourself to them. All the negative talk saps out all the fun and flirtiness from your partner. The only person you should worry about is yourself. Stop worrying about competing with others and focus on you.
In the next post we will finish this topic off with the last 5 reasons as to why you are still single. That will include some sensitive topics.