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Why I Don't Want To Date A Young Man

Or his young penis . . .

By Aly OhPublished 4 years ago 2 min read
Why I Don't Want To Date A Young Man
Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

I have been divorced for about three years and trying to date has been a horrific experience. I signed up for Plenty of Fish for the seventh time, and this time one of the first messages I got was from this 28 year old boy-man who thought it was cool to tell me how I needed his young penis in my life.

On the same day, a friend and I were talking about dating as ‘mature’ women. This was our exact text conversation:

Me: Lol i'm trying to test the waters again. I got back on POF.

Her: Omg what happened with the last guy lol

Her: We are so bad at this dating thing.

Me: I know. I think the men who are attracted to me are so inconsistent.

Her: I actually think it is all men on that app. It's not u or me.

Me: Yes. But I keep hoping to find a good one

Her: I hope u do n hope I find mine lol. I really didn’t think this dating thing was this hard. At my age I find it difficult and there are not very many good man out here

Me: All these young guys wanna talk to me about sex. I'm like, what can I do with a little 20 something year old!

Her: A whole lot hahaha

Me: I don't want any young penis. This guy sent me a message today telling me how he's gonna make me suck his stuff in put his little thing in my booty. I was like LIL BOY! GET OUT MY MESSAGES !

Her: HAHAHAHAHA I just busted out laughing hahahaha

Me: That was the worst message I have ever received.

Her: Omg lol You need to write a book about dating on our 40's. It will be a hit.

Me: I will definitely think about that lol

Her: For real!

Although this is not a book, it is a conversation that needed to be published.

To My Future Boo:

If you're out there reading this please know that the moral of the story is . . . I need a grown man! I don’t think I am asking for too much! I only have a short list of requirements:

1. Don’t be young .

2. Love God .

3. Don’t be a criminal (please don’t kill me) .

4. If your bank statement has a different liquor store everyday, leave me alone !

5. I know weed is the big thing, but I don’t want to get with Snoop Dogg .

6. I’m 5 ft 9, please be taller than me .

7. Have a JOB !

8. Don’t message me with the “WYD” texts. I’ll block you !

9. Be able to have a conversation. One word responses will get you blocked.

10. If all you talk about is your Ex, maybe you all need to get back together ?

11. Five kids and 10 baby mamas automatically disqualifies you .

12. If you’re over 30 and still trying to launch a rap career . . . buh bye!

13. If your only transportation is the bus but you smoke weed everyday, that’s a "no" for me .

14. If you drive an expensive car but live with your Mom, I’ll pass . (Get your priorities together, Sir!)

15. If you send out mass “Good Morning, Beautiful” texts to every woman in your Contacts, you probably aren’t the one for me.

16. DON’T BE YOUNG!

Here’s to hoping that the dating scene gets easier and that qualified applicants apply only.

AMEN

dating

About the Creator

Aly Oh

I am a mother, writer, lover, poet, nerd, counselor, great cook and snuggler. I am passionate about herbs and natural remedies.

I know a thing-or-two about a thing-or-two.

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Comments (1)

  • Chris meey6 months ago

    I am a widower. And I can relate to what you are facing. The online dating sites are a pharse and expensive. There should be free chat sites. To communicate with people

Aly OhWritten by Aly Oh

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