Why Having a Crush On Someone Is the Worst!

by Mahini Subramanian about a year ago in dating

By Mahini

Why Having a Crush On Someone Is the Worst!

A Crush. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, a crush is an "intense and usually passing infatuation." Passing, being the key word there. I'm sure many of you have had crushes before and it's either worked out or not so much. If your crush liked you back, that's great! I'm so happy for you guys! But this... this is for those who haven't been able to be successful with their crushes. Those that are constantly tossing and turning at nights, hoping, waiting for their crush to notice them, talk to them, or even just a simple wave that would make their hearts flutter.

I've noticed that when someone starts having a crush, a person goes through various different phases over its course:

Phase One: Denial

In this phase, like the title states, you're in straight up denial about having a crush on that guy/girl. Through previous experiences, I've found that this phase usually spans up to a couple of weeks to months. My second semester of Sophomore year in college, I had a crush on this one guy. He was my literal "dream guy" to say the least. He played my favorite sport, he was super nice, really sweet, had a really cute smile, he was in the same major, and basically all around amazing! Before I had a crush on him, I would see him around here and there and notice that he was pretty good looking and when I found out that he played my favorite sport, which not a lot of people play in America, I was quite intrigued, honestly. My friends would often tease me saying, "Aww how cute!" or "you guys should totally date," but I would often refute the statement and move on. But this starts to get into your head, and for me it definitely did. I would find myself constantly thinking, "should we date?" At first, I would wake myself and think about how ridiculous that statement was, but as time went by, I couldn't help but hope that it would happen. Which brings me to my next Phase: Acceptance.

Phase Two: Acceptance

In this phase, you (Finally!) accept the fact that you might have a crush on the specific guy/girl. This phase usually lasts up until the very last moment you have a crush on the specific person. This phase usually combines with the next few phases because after accepting the fact you might have a crush on someone, you start moving towards how to get them to notice you, or how to increase your chances of getting close to them. Which leads me to my next phase: Delusion.

Phase Three: Delusion

Now when I say delusion, I mean straight up delusion. This phase usually consists of you dreaming up instances. For example, you'll start to think about "if you'll see them today" or you'll think about a possible future relationship with them, and eventually even daydream about them. As someone who's gone through this multiple times, to say the least, it sucks. Everything makes you think of them! Every song you listen to, every movie you watch, every book you read, everything reminds you of them. You'll start feeling so happy every time you see them and it's as if they just light up every aspect of you that no one could before. At this point, you and your friends might even start to make nicknames for your crush in order to be able to talk about him in public, without anyone knowing whom you're talking about. When I liked my "dream guy," I was constantly thinking about if I'd be able to see him today, or if I could eventually be in a relationship with him, or just to go on a date with him. A lot of times after this phase, it can either go one of two ways. It can either turn in to a "like" or it can go south with them finding out or you find out that they aren't interested. Since this blog post is just about crushes, I'm going to go down the "go south" route, which leads me to my next phase: Down the Drain.

Phase Four: Down the Drain

This phase usually is when either the specific person finds out you have a crush on them, or when you find out that they're not interested in you or anyone. This literally brings your mood all the way down. To those of you that can move on super fast, you're so lucky and I'm very jealous of your ability to move on so fast. For those who aren't so lucky, this hits you hard. No matter how many people you have a crush on, it still hits you equally just as hard. The fact that you imagined them with you at times, holding you, caressing you, and just being with you... it feels as if a part of you is lost. You start listening to those sad songs instead of the happy ones you used to listen to before, and are constantly in your feels. Every time you see their new post on Instagram or other social media websites, your heart drops and you start feeling even worse. You start doubting yourself, "can I ever get into a relationship," "is there even someone out there for me?" And this just turns into something way more than what you had expected and wanted. But with the right friends, and family, or others to support you and lift you up, you'll be out of this phase real soon. This leads to the next phase: Free at last.

Phase Five: Free at last

Free at last. Whew! Finally! This phase is the final stage of having a crush. This is where you start doing other things to occupy your mind and relieve it of constantly thinking about your crush. What most do is paint, work, sing, or even write, or other healthy ways to overcome this crush. This is the phase where you end up forgetting about your crush and don't let anything they do, "phase you." You don't spend all your time thinking about them, you don't even look at their Insta/social media posts, and you just move on with your daily life. You start looking at improving yourself, making sure you love yourself first and then going towards putting yourself out there again. Things are looking up again and you feel alive again. No more listening to those sad songs, but only listening to those uplifting ones! This phase might take a while to achieve, but it eventually always occurs.

So if you've ever had a crush on someone, and thought about how "I don't think I can get over them" and for those that are in the "Down the drain" phase, my advice for you: it gets better. You will always get over them, and once you do, you'll start to love yourself more than ever before. Along with you guys, I'm going through this stage as well, so no worries. You're not alone, you're never going to be alone. So my last piece of advice, never lose hope. That ray of hope, however small it is, is the best thing that helps you grow and achieve the last phase of having a crush. Even if this guy/girl doesn't work out, there will always be someone who makes your heart drop every time you see them, make you smile at everything they do, or even notice every single thing you do and admire you so much enough that you'll end up forgetting everyone before them. So good luck to all of you out there getting over your crushes, and I'm sure you'll find your person soon! And like what one of my friends constantly says, always expect the unexpected!

-Mahini

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