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Why and how do we choose friends?

We choose friends for a variety of reasons, including shared interests, personality traits, values, and life experiences. Some common reasons for forming friendships include companionship, social support, emotional connection, and shared activities.

By Furkan CeylanPublished about a year ago 6 min read
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Why and how do we choose friends?
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Here are some ways in which we typically choose friends:

Shared Interests: People often seek out others who share their interests and hobbies. Whether it's playing sports, reading, or music, having common interests can help create a foundation for a friendship.

Similar Personalities: We tend to be drawn to people who have similar personalities to our own. This can include traits like humor, kindness, and empathy.

Shared Values: When our values align with those of another person, it can make it easier to form a bond. Shared values can include beliefs about politics, religion, or social justice issues.

Proximity: We are more likely to become friends with people who are physically close to us, such as neighbors or classmates. This is often because we have more opportunities to interact with them.

Social Support: Friends can provide emotional support during difficult times, and we may be drawn to people who we believe can offer that support.

Chemistry: Sometimes, we simply "click" with certain people. This chemistry can be hard to define, but it often involves a sense of ease and comfort around the other person.

Overall, the reasons why we choose friends are complex and multifaceted. However, shared interests, personalities, and values, as well as proximity and social support, are all common factors that can contribute to the formation of a friendship.

The Psychology of Friendship: Understanding Why We Choose Certain People as Friends

By Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Friendship is an important aspect of our lives, and it is driven by a number of psychological factors. Understanding the psychology of friendship can help us to better understand why we choose certain people as friends. Here are some of the key psychological factors that influence our choices:

Similarity: We are often drawn to people who are similar to us in terms of personality, interests, and values. This is known as the principle of homophily, and it is a powerful force in shaping our social networks.

Proximity: We are more likely to become friends with people who are physically close to us. This is because proximity increases the likelihood of interaction and familiarity.

Reciprocity: We tend to like people who like us. When we perceive that someone likes us, we are more likely to reciprocate those feelings and form a friendship.

Trust: Trust is an important factor in any relationship, including friendships. We are more likely to become friends with people whom we perceive to be trustworthy and reliable.

Shared Experiences: Shared experiences can create a sense of bonding and connection between people. This can include experiences such as attending the same school, working in the same field, or going through a similar life event.

Social Norms: Our social environment and culture can also influence our choices of friends. Social norms about who is considered desirable as a friend can shape our preferences and choices.

Understanding these psychological factors can help us to better understand why we choose certain people as friends. By recognizing the role that these factors play in our friendships, we can also work to build stronger and more meaningful relationships with the people in our lives.

The Art of Friend-Making: Strategies for Building Meaningful Connections

By Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Making friends is an art, and like any skill, it can be developed with practice and intentionality. Here are some strategies for building meaningful connections with others:

Be open and approachable: One of the most important aspects of making friends is being approachable. Smile, make eye contact, and show interest in others to create a welcoming and friendly demeanor.

Find common ground: Look for common interests, values, or experiences that you share with others. These shared experiences can be a foundation for building a deeper connection.

Be a good listener: Listening is a crucial skill in building friendships. Be present and attentive when talking to others, and show genuine interest in what they have to say.

Show vulnerability: Sharing personal stories or experiences can create a sense of connection and trust between people. Be willing to open up and share your own experiences, thoughts, and feelings.

Take initiative: Be proactive in reaching out to others and suggesting activities or outings. Don't be afraid to take the first step in building a friendship.

Be patient: Building friendships takes time and effort. Be patient and don't expect to become best friends overnight. Focus on building a strong foundation of trust and mutual respect.

Maintain the relationship: Once you have made a new friend, make sure to nurture and maintain the relationship. Make time for regular interactions, show appreciation, and offer support when needed.

By following these strategies, you can develop your skills in making friends and build meaningful connections with others. Remember that building friendships is a journey, and with time and effort, you can develop a strong and supportive network of friends.

Friendship and Identity: Exploring the Role of Shared Values and Beliefs in Choosing Friends

By Clay Banks on Unsplash

Our friendships play an important role in shaping our identity, and shared values and beliefs can be a powerful factor in the formation of these friendships. Here are some ways in which shared values and beliefs can influence our choices of friends:

Validation: When we form friendships with people who share our values and beliefs, it can provide a sense of validation and support for our identity. This can be particularly important for individuals who may feel marginalized or misunderstood in their larger social circles.

Socialization: Our friendships can also be a key source of socialization, shaping our attitudes and beliefs over time. When we form friendships with people who share our values and beliefs, it can reinforce and strengthen these beliefs.

Common goals: When we share values and beliefs with others, we may be more likely to work towards common goals or causes. This can create a sense of purpose and meaning in our friendships.

Conflict resolution: When conflicts arise in friendships, shared values and beliefs can be an important factor in resolving these conflicts. When we share common ground with our friends, we may be more willing to compromise and find mutually acceptable solutions.

Acceptance: When we form friendships with people who share our values and beliefs, it can create a sense of acceptance and belonging. This can be particularly important for individuals who may feel alienated or rejected in other areas of their lives.

Overall, shared values and beliefs can be an important factor in the formation and maintenance of our friendships. By understanding the role that these factors play in our friendships, we can work to build stronger and more meaningful connections with others who share our values and beliefs.

By Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

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About the Creator

Furkan Ceylan

Freelancer Architect, Interior Designer, NFT producer, Speaker, Content Writer

Behance

Instagram for Personal

Instagram for Interior Architecture

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Comments (2)

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  • Donna Fox (HKB)about a year ago

    I found this super helpful, informative and thought provoking!

  • Mariann Carrollabout a year ago

    This is a very beautiful and informative piece,hearted and subscribed

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