Whine and Dine

Kaitlyn Simmons did not know how to date.

She had read all the romantic books in her library, she had seen all the cheesy romantic comedies, she even tried dating apps at unfortunate points in her life, but it was all to no avail. When it came time to meet the man of her dreams, a level of awkwardness raised in her like the ocean tides when the moon is at its perigee. And that tide came complete with all the wonderful horrors of H.P. Lovecraft's most famous sea-based deities.

Still, her best friend Abigail decided to butt into her life and tell her that she needed to go on at least one date that did not end like the Hindenburg. Kate responded to her with a more fitting analogy; her dating life was more akin to the Titanic, where all the "best" people were sent off to new adventures while she was left frozen in the water. To Kate's chagrin, Abigail had somewhat of a point when she thought about it; Kate was twenty-four years old, and the world was not slowing down for her to get on the bus.

Despite having a fairly good time being single, she thought a change in her life was necessary, if only to prove a point to herself. She figured one last venture into the mutated shark-infested waters was a good benchmark; if it was successful, yay! If it were unsuccessful, also yay because she would be able to say "Yeah, it's true. My ability to date is about as effective as a papier-mâché submarine."

December 21st, 2012 was to be the day Abigail set her up on a blind date. Today was that day and was also when the world was supposed to end so, at the very least, it meant the date itself could not be too bad in comparison. Kate went to a local department store, one of many in the St. Louis area, ahead of time and purchased a nice red dress. Then she returned it and got a nice black dress. Then she returned that and got a jogging suit. Abigail told her to go back and get the red dress.

"But that looks so... red. What if red isn't my color?"

"Red is your color,” Abigail said in an exasperated manner, “I know Andy would like it too.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. He’s a good friend of mine! He has been in my life for ten years and he deserves the best, that's why I'm setting him up with you. Now go in and get the dress before I cut you."

A complement next to a threat. Yup, that was Abigail. Resigning herself to potential humiliation, Kate walked back into the department store to purchase the dress. A few moments later, Kate came back out of the store holding the jogging outfit. After a terse look from Abigail, she once again went back inside, and this time emerged with the dress.

“Dress taken care of,” she thought to herself. Next on her list was dying horribly getting some makeup and shoes to go with it. Luckily, the plaza the two were in had a shoe store nearby, so they made their way over there. Kate, being clueless in both fashion and dating, asked Abigail to come along this time. She promptly refused. Frustrated, Kate walked into the building and looked for a pair of shoes which matched in both fashion and practicality. Of all the shoes in the building, a pair of red ballet flats seemed to be calling her name. She grabbed the shoes, paid for them, and returned to Abigail who responded with a nod of approval.

“So, what’s next?” Kate asked, “Seppuku?”

Abigail looked at her with a stern expression. “No, you go home and get dressed. Andy is meeting you at the restaurant I told you about tonight at seven.”

“Then I shall do that,” Kate turned around, and then back to Abigail. “Where do I live again?”

-----

The clock on Kate’s wall read 6:15 PM, indicating to her she had forty-five minutes to be at the restaurant to meet her blind date. Kate had wanted to look up "Andrew Parker" on social media website SocialNet, but at the same time wanted to go in completely blind as to not set herself up for disappointment. From what Abigail had told her, Andy was a young man roughly around her age who had ambitions to become a journalist for the St. Louis Skygate, a popular online newsletter which discussed conspiracy theories about aliens and alien spacecraft. One of the most well-known articles talked about the supposed use of the city's prominent Gateway Arch to set up a portal to other worlds.

Kate herself loved the idea of aliens and other science fiction stories, and in fact had begun to search related videos on ViewMe after coming home from her shopping trip. After another seemingly five-minute video, Kate glanced at the clock, staring at the numbers as they said 6:47 PM.

It took all of a minute for Kate to register what she was reading on the clock. At 6:48 PM, she immediately stood up and ran to her bedroom to retrieve her dress, her shoes, and brushed out her hair before getting dressed and running out the door. Thankfully, her apartment was close to the restaurant she was supposed to meet Andy at, a detail no doubt thought ahead of by Abigail for this reason. The restaurant was a nice enough establishment being not too fancy and, to Kate's relief, not too full of people. Kate looked around and laid eyes on a tall, dark haired man with gray eyes sitting at a table near the front of the restaurant, fidgeting and looking at his phone.

From his body language, he did not seem very keen on being there as well, so she figured this was the one she had been sent to meet. Looking around, every other occupied table had either a couple of people or an entire party, depending on the social situation. Fearing embarrassment, Kate stepped forward and somehow eventually ended up at the table occupied by the lone man.

"Hi Kate I'm Andrew?"

"Erm, what?" The man looked confused, but before he could get anything else out, Kate quickly realized her mistake.

"I mean, are you Andrew? I'm Kate, Kate Simmons? My friend Abigail told me to meet you here. I like science fiction and detective stories and walks in the snow am I going too fast?"

The man chuckled, "Considering you haven't even sat down before talking about your interests I don't entirely know."

Kate awkwardly laughed in response before sitting on the chair opposite him. "I am here to meet someone named Andrew, and I am sincerely hoping it is you because if not I just sat down at a stranger's table and that is so not cool on my part."

"My name is Andrew. Abigail told me to meet you here." Andrew extended his hand over the table with a palm to the side. Kate reached over and shook his hand, but on the pull back, she knocked the candlelit centerpiece down on its side.

Kate's eyes widened as the candle fell over and almost ignited the tablecloth. Andrew quickly stood up and grabbed the candle, moving fast enough to extinguish the flame before putting it back on the candleholder in the centerpiece. Kate's brain, however, didn't quite register the danger being over before she grabbed a close by glass of water and poured it on the table close to where the flame was, spilling it all over the white tablecloth. By now, the entire population of the venue had noticed the commotion and veered their eyes to the table, particularly on Kate herself. In response, Kate slunk back into her chair and wrapped her coat around her body.

"I'm Kate," she said, meekly, before putting her face in her hands. "Nice to meet you, Andrew."

A few moments later, Andrew and Kate had been moved to a different table while the servers cleaned up the water damage. In a moment of clarity, Kate looked at the wall next to the table and took note of the fire extinguisher before slinking back down into the chair. Not too long afterward, a waitress showed up with a writing pad. Kate smiled at her and looked over at Andrew. "So, what would you like to eat?"

Andrew picked up the menu and looked through it. "I'm quite a fan of the steak here, or the chicken alfredo. I'll pair it with a white wine. You?"

"I don't come here very often," Kate responded while picking up the menu herself, looking through the variety of very fancy wines and meals. "I think I'll take the chicken parmesan. Oh, and the merlot wine looks good! I'll take a glass of that!"

The waitress took the order and walked back into the kitchen, leaving Kate and Andrew alone once more. This time, Andrew took lead in the conversation. "Have you lived in St. Louis very long?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded while looking around. No one else seemed to be looking at her anymore after the water incident, so for a moment she felt less embarrassed and capable of talking in actual sentences. "I've been here about four years. I moved here after college seeking a full-time job in journalism. So far, I just have freelance work here and there. Our uh, mutual friend Abigail, she 'discovered' me and helped me get my foot in the door at a local newspaper here."

"Oh yeah, she's immensely helpful. I've known her for fifteen years, we met in... high school? Junior high? Sometimes I forget how old I am. Anyway, we hit it off as friends and we've been so ever since." Andrew fidgeted in his chair. "I hope you don't mind my asking, where did you live before here?"

"Uh, Boonville. It's a small town in central Missouri. They have a casino there, and a lot of other things. My parents worked in the prison there, and they tried to get me working there too but I decided to go to college in Columbia instead. I hope I'm not oversharing?"

Andrew shook his head. "No, not at all. I'm surprised you have told me so much with a cool head. You seemed nervous when you first got here."

Kate awkwardly chuckled. "You uh, you noticed that right?"

Andrew gestured to the table currently blocked off with chairs as the restaurant crew removed the tablecloth for cleaning. "I think they noticed it more than I did."

Kate once again chuckled awkwardly as the waitress showed up and put two glasses on the table, Kate's slightly further away from her as she filled it with dark red wine. When that was done, the other wine glass was filled with a crisp clear wine. Kate carefully reached over and picked up her glass, putting it to her lips while praying to whatever being she could now that it didn't spill and cause more embarrassment. This time, for once, it did not and as a result she enjoyed the taste of the wine.

Andrew, however, picked his own glass up and before he could reach it to his own mouth, the neck of the glass broke, and the cup spilled all over his lap. Kate slunk back into her chair as Andrew facepalmed, stood up, and tried to wipe off his pants as the waitress screeched and loudly apologized. "I am so sorry! I think that glass was defective!"

Andrew smiled, "Yeah, it's okay. I heard it pop as it decided to get to know me better." He took his napkin from the table and placed it on his lap, hoping it would soak the wine out.

"I will go get you another glass." The waitress said politely, then started walking relatively fast towards the bar. As she rounded the corner, however, a loud crash was heard as she slipped on her wine-soaked shoes when they contacted the tile floor. "I'm okay!" she yelled out across the restaurant. Andrew and Kate looked at each other with worry before Kate, trying to break the awkward tension, lifted the bottle left on the table and poured herself another glass of wine.

Minutes passed, and the server returned to the pair and put a glass down, pouring what was left of the white wine bottle into it. Andrew slightly frowned when the wine barely filled the bottom, but still drank the small amount. Kate smiled and lifted the merlot, gesturing to his glass.

Andrew smiled and nodded, and the waitress picked the merlot bottle out of her hands and filled his glass with the contents. Kate smiled brightly as Andrew finished his own glass.

The food was delivered to the table not too long afterward, and Kate dug into her food the moment it hit the plate. This, however, was a bad idea as the food itself was still rather warm. She enjoyed the taste of the chicken parmesan but wasn't so inclined to enjoy the burning on her tongue. Reaching for anything to drink, she grabbed a complementary glass of water off the table and downed it while standing up quickly. Andrew looked worried as she did so, but she quickly gestured she was okay.

"That was a bit too hot, I am so sorry!"

"It's okay," Andrew replied, "I was going to go for my own food before I noticed the steam, so I almost did the same."

"Yeah, I just wish nothing else bad happens tonight. I really wanted to make a good impression!"

Kate soon quickly realized one must never tempt fate as she sat back down on her chair. Having been slinking down into it with embarrassment over the night, she hadn't realized the integrity of the wooden chair had slowly broken down with every time. When she rested gently on the seat again, the legs gave way and she fell to the ground, yelping, while grabbing on to the table to keep herself up. This was also a bad idea as instead of the table, she'd grabbed the tablecloth. The expected result, resulted.

----

Kate walked out of the emergency room as Andrew walked next to her. Thankfully, she'd managed to roll out of the way of the hot food plates, but as a result she had hit her head on a different chair and briefly knocked herself out. Andrew took her to the ER as a precaution and sat with her in the waiting room to make sure she was okay.

"Well, this was about as disastrous as I'd expected," Kate stopped walking, using her phone as a reflective screen to look at the rather large bandage on her forehead. “I would honestly not be surprised if you didn’t want to try this again.”

Andrew shrugged. “Honestly, it wasn’t the worst date I’ve ever been on. This one time I went out on a first date with someone who talked to spaghetti noodles.”

Kate looked at him with a very confused stare. “Spa-what?”

Andrew briefly shuddered before looking her in the eyes. “I don’t want to relive that.”

The two started laughing as they continued walking to Andrew’s car. As they walked, the two discussed both their recent date as well as Kate’s history with dating as well. Eventually, Andrew got to the passenger side and opened it. Kate smiled and climbed in, but not before hitting her head on the door frame.

The drive back to Kate’s home was short, but she enjoyed the brief talk they did have. When they got there, Andrew got out and opened the door, helping her out of the car as to avoid another hit to the head. Kate walked to her door but stopped when she heard Andrew’s voice calling back to her. “Hey! I forgot to give you this. I noticed how much you liked that wine back at the restaurant, so I bought you a bottle from them as a memento for this… nice? Date?”

Kate smirked and took the bottle. “Thank you, kind sir.”

“So, we on for next week? There’s still plenty of nice places in this town that practically need a remodel.”

Kate took a second to register what he’d said, then smiled as brightly as she could despite her numerous injuries. “Uh yeah yes yeah! I’ll see you next week! I just need to update my medical insurance.”

It was Andrew’s turn to chuckle as he turned around back to his car. “See you around, Kate. Next week, in fact.”

Kate walked into her home and put the bottle of wine on the ground next to the door, and then immediately sauntered over to the couch to sit down. As she sat down, she pulled up a messaging app and texted Abigail with glowing praise for setting her up for the date. When that was done, Kate placed her phone on the table and passed out, Andrew’s face being the last thing she thought of before drifting off to sleep.