Where we started

The three couples dated through the first two years of high school and spent a lot of time together. During the school year, they would spend most weekends doing things as a group. They would go to movies, attend school dances, or hang out at the mall or each other's houses. They all became good friends, including Robert and Maryanne. She was growing into the woman she would become, and Robert thought she was becoming more beautiful every time he saw her.

He acquired his most valuable possession around this time. It was the night they all went to a travelling amusement park and took turns taking pictures with each other in the photo booth. When Robert had his turn with Maryanne they were both laughing so hard that they cried and he could never remember feeling that happy before. She told Robert that he could keep the pictures if he wanted and he gladly accepted and put them in his wallet.

He would keep those pictures with him at all times and never show them to anyone as they were his private memory of one of the happiest days of his life.

He was happy and loved being with Wanda, as she always made him laugh and treated him like he was the most important person in her world, but he felt protective of Maryanne.

Keith and Maryanne seemed extremely happy together and found time to be alone, even when they were in a group. They would often be off to the side somewhere, holding hands and looking in each other's eyes as they talked. Robert could see that Maryanne was in love with Keith, and for some reason, this upset him.

Keith was spending a lot of time at Tommy's house, visiting Maryanne, so they became good friends and would hang out together when not with the girls. Keith and Tommy were the same age, and they were the first ones in the group to try drinking. It was the second year of high school, and they were both sixteen when they stole some vodka from Tommy's house and went to their hideout in the forest and drank it. They didn't have much; as they poured some from the bottle, they found under the sink into a container and refilled the bottle with water. There was only enough for maybe two drinks each, but they liked how it made them feel.

Robert and the rest of the group tried drinking for the first time that summer after the school year. Tommy's parents were spending the weekend at their neighbour's cabin and told him and Maryanne that they could have their friends over but no loud partying or sleep-over's. Tommy said ok and told his parents not to worry, but phoned and invited the group to spend the night on that Saturday.

When Robert with Wanda and Keith arrived for the sleep-over, Maryanne was there with Iris and said that Tommy had gone to pick up snacks and would be back soon. Tommy got back to the house about ten minutes after they arrived. He was dropped off by one of the older guys from the neighbourhood and handed him some money when he got out of the car. Keith went outside to meet him, and when they came back in with a case of beer and a bottle of vodka, everybody was surprised.

Tommy told them that he’d paid the guy $10 to buy the alcohol, while putting the beer in the refrigerator. Keith and Tommy looked like they’d done this before, as they were mixing orange juice from a frozen can, but Robert was concerned as he’d never drunk anything more than a glass of wine at Christmas time.

Robert could tell that Maryanne, Wanda, and Iris were not happy with what was happening. They didn't say anything, but Maryanne was looking at her brother with anger and fear.

When the guys finished making the orange juice, Keith mixed a small drink for each of them as Tommy was opening a beer. Keith handed the glasses out, and Tommy said, "Too good friends and one night of freedom." He then drank his Vodka in one mouthful and followed it with a long drink of beer.

For the next two hours, Tommy drank more and more, while the others were taking their time and drinking slowly. Robert had two beers, and Keith had two drinks of vodka before they stopped drinking.

The girls only had one drink each and were getting upset with Tommy, as he was getting drunk.

Iris becoming angry with Tommy’s behavior finally had enough and told them that she didn't want to be around him like this and left to walk home. Maryanne became angry with Tommy when Iris left and told him to stop drinking, but he ignored her and went to mix himself another drink. While Tommy was gone, Wanda apologized to Maryanne and said that she felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave, and Keith agreed with his cousin and told Maryanne that it would be better if they left.

Robert felt concerned for Maryanne and could see the relief in her eyes when he said, "I’ll stay here; I’ve known Tommy his whole life; he’ll listen to me."

Keith hugged Maryanne and told her he was sorry, as Robert kissed Wanda and told her that he would see her tomorrow.

Tommy came back as Keith and Wanda were leaving and tried, drunkenly, to get them to stay, but Keith lied and said, "Sorry man, Wanda is feeling sick, I have to take her home."

Tommy, upset after Keith and Wanda left and blaming Maryanne for them leaving, refused to listen to Robert and kept drinking. Over the next hour, he downed several more drinks before throwing up on the carpet and staggering to the bathroom swearing. Robert angry with Tommy but concerned for his friend, followed him to the bathroom to make sure he was okay as Maryanne, in tears, stayed in the living room trying to clean up the carpet. When he stopped throwing up, Tommy could hardly stand, so Robert helped him get his shirt off and cleaned up a little before helping him to his bed, where he fell asleep in minutes.

When Robert returned to the living room, Maryanne was kneeling on the floor with a bucket and some rags, cleaning up the vomit and crying. He knelt beside her and started helping, without speaking, and when she looked at him heartbroken and said, "Thank you, Robert, you're always there when I need help, you’re such a good person," Robert felt anger growing for Tommy.

His heart couldn't handle seeing her like this so he reached out, wiped away her tears and pulled her close to him. She leaned her head on his chest and sobbed, “I’m just so worried about him. He drinks like this almost every weekend. I love him but he makes me so angry and I don’t know what to do.”

Robert felt her frustration and concern, and promised, “I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Maybe he’ll listen to me when he’s sober. He’s my best friend Maryanne and I’ll try my best to make him see the fear he’s causing in you. I know he loves you and cares about your feelings. He’s told me that more than once.”

She raised her head and looked into his eyes, saying, “You’re such a good friend Robert. Tommy is lucky to have you and so am I,” before laying her head back on his chest and wrapping her arms around him.

Robert could feel his heart and mind swell with emotion as he held her while she cried. He wanted to help and protect her any way he could. Feeling the warmth of her body against his, as she wept, somehow felt right to Robert. It was different from what he felt for Wanda, and he thought, "Is This Love?"

After leaving Maryanne's house because of Tommy's drinking, Wanda admonished Keith for his acceptance of this behaviour. She knew that Keith had seen Tommy drunk before, as she’d heard him talk about it with his sister. He’d returned early from a weekend at Tommy's house and was in the backyard talking to Karen, as Wanda, in her bedroom changing, could hear the conversation through the open window. Keith seemed upset as he spoke about the night before that he’d spent at Tommy's friend's house where Tommy had gotten drunk and acted stupidly.

Keith apologized to Wanda and told her that he’d spoken to Tommy several times in the kitchen, but he wouldn't listen. Wanda said she felt sorry for Maryanne, but Keith said, "Don't worry, she knows about his drinking and how to handle him; plus, she has Robert there to help her." On the rest of the trip home, Wanda thought about Robert staying with Maryanne and all the times she’d seen him watching her and smiling. She’d confronted Robert about it, and he’d kissed her and said, "It's nothing, I'm just happy that's she's happy. She's like a little sister to me." The other kids always bullied her, so I feel protective of her. I'm just happy she’s with Keith." Wanda accepted his explanation and told him she was sorry as Robert hugged her, but in her heart, she knew when he looked at Maryanne; it wasn't a sister he was seeing.

Robert awoke to a feeling of pressure on his chest, and slowly opened his eyes to realize he had fallen asleep sitting on the couch with Maryanne in his arms. They were both sitting, but Maryanne had her head on Roberts's chest with her right arm around his waist, sleeping peacefully. Robert's right arm, sitting around her shoulder, was getting numb, so he moved it slowly away. As his arm moved, she started to stir, so Robert stopped and held her closer as he didn't want to wake her. He wanted to stay like this in her arms as long as possible. He held her close as he watched the daylight approaching, feeling wonderful and confused at the same time.

Maryanne started to wake just as dawn was seeping through the windows but didn’t move, as she didn’t want to wake Robert. She felt comfortable and safe in his arms and wanted to stay like this a little longer.

Keith loved her, and even though they lived far apart, found ways to be with her as often as possible. When they weren't together, they would spend hours on the phone talking about nothing. Keith told her that he loved to hear her voice every day.

She thought the feelings she had for Keith were love, but what she felt with her head on Robert's chest with his arms around her, was different and stronger somehow. It just felt right, and she didn't want to move. She felt Robert move his arm a little, and thinking he must be uncomfortable started to get up, but he put his arm back and held her closer. Moving her head a little closer to his chin, trying to make him more comfortable, they both heard a sound from the back of the house at the same time. Maryanne raised her head to look over Robert's shoulder as he turned his head to look behind him towards the sound.

Robert looked for a few seconds, but saw nothing, and turned back to find himself looking into Maryanne's eyes, with their faces inches apart.

Her eyes captured and pulled him in; as her warm breath on his face, caused Goosebumps to rise on his arms. Overwhelmed by the nearness of her beauty, he couldn’t speak as he reached out to gently move her hair away from her eyes.

She couldn't help herself, and as Robert touched her face, she moved closer and kissed him lightly on the lips. He pulled her closer and kissed her back as he held her tighter. They were both feeling shocked and confused at what they were doing, as Maryanne pulled away and apologized, "Oh my God, Robert, I'm sorry, what have I done?"

Robert started to tell her that he wasn't sorry when they both heard a sound behind them.

Robert and Maryanne turned in the direction of the noise and saw Tommy standing in the hallway staring at them with disbelief.

Robert started to say something, but Tommy just turned around and walked back to his bedroom.

Maryanne knowing her brother and Keith had become good friends, felt terrified at what had just happened. She wanted to tell her brother that what he’d seen was an accident and she didn't mean it, but she looked at Robert and knew that wasn't true.

She started to say something to Robert, but he stood and walked away.

Robert's mind was spinning as he stood and walked to the kitchen, feeling torn in his betrayal of a friend and his feelings for Maryanne.

She sat on the couch, unable to move as Robert went to the kitchen, thinking she’d ruined everything for everybody. “Why did I kiss him?” she thought, he was just being nice and trying to help her like he always had.

Lately, she felt he thought of her as a little sister, but the way he looked at her today, Maryanne knew that wasn’t how he felt. She’d felt drawn to Robert for a long time, but never thought he liked her that way. She didn’t know what to do, thinking he must be confused and upset with her, as he walked away without speaking. How could she be so wrong about what she saw in his eyes and felt in her heart?

She worried he was so upset, that he left her to deal with Tommy alone; until Robert came back from the kitchen with two glasses of juice and sat beside her.

He handed her one of the glasses as she said, "I'm really sorry, Robert, I shouldn't have done that."

He stared at her for several seconds without speaking, with what looked like fear in his eyes.

Maryanne feeling concerned, asked, “Are you ok, Robert? I don’t know why I did that; please don’t be upset with me.”

Robert stared at her for a few more seconds, then laid his glass on the coffee table and took her hand as he looked in her eyes and said, "I’m not upset with you. I could never be upset with you Maryanne. You didn't do that; I did. I've wanted to kiss you for a very long time. Last night, holding you while you slept was the best night of my life."

Maryanne feeling stunned by what he said, took a few seconds to reply, “What about Keith and Wanda? We can't hurt them like this." She could see his eyes well up as he said, “I know. I feel the same but I can’t help myself; Watching you with someone else is tearing me up inside and I can’t do this anymore. I can't keep pretending everything is ok."

Maryanne didn't say anything, as her heart was racing from what he was telling her. She looked at her hands, trying to stop the feelings rising in her as Robert paused for a moment.

Robert thought about what Maryanne had said just a few seconds before and said, "Why did you say we?"

Looking confused, she said, "What do you mean?”

“A minute ago you said, we can't hurt them; we meaning us. Which I believe, means you feel the same as I do. Please tell me that I'm right."

She looked in his eyes but couldn't speak; she wanted to tell him the truth, but her mouth wouldn't move, paralyzed with conflicting emotions of fear and love.

Robert took her glass and laid it on the table before taking both of her hands and moving closer. He looked into her eyes as she felt her breathing slow and said, "Maryanne, I love you; I’ve always loved you. I've been too stupid and too shy to tell you, but most of all, I've been afraid of you not liking me and thinking I'm crazy."

She looked at him dumbfounded for a minute, and he said, "Please say something; anything, just tell me the truth."

Maryanne felt courage rising in her as he spoke and did what he asked; with tears in her eyes, she told him the truth, "I love you too, Robert, I always have."

He couldn't speak; shocked at what she said, he moved closer and hugged her tight as he put his head on her chest. He was happy just to hold her and feel the nearness of her, not believing that she said those words to him. Until she held his head to her chest and said them again, "I love you."