When You're Difficult To Love

The most mesmerizing people are those who provoke the mind in a number of ways. Like a riddle that can’t be solved or a Rubik’s cube, these souls baffle those who get too involved, for better or for worse. Most of the time, though, these jigsaw souls are Pandora’s Box for partners, and relationships are impossible challenges. Some will say you’re unworthy. Too complex. Annoying. Others will give up at the slightest sign of resistance. Don’t listen to them.

There are benefits that come with being difficult to love.

1. You’ll love yourself first

So many people are desperate for interaction with another individual, whether it’s common companionship or not, that they are willing to lie to their true selves and follow along with whatever their partner says. These couples usually wind up falling out of love as quickly as they fall in love—but this usually happens after vows are made and a child is born.

When you’re hard to love, it’s usually because you are invested in yourself. You’re not willing to bend to the will of someone who might not love everything about you. You might have sensed before that this person would change something about you if they had the chance, and so you’ve decided that if someone isn’t ready to accept you for all that you are, then you’d rather be alone.

And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with loving yourself. In fact, even if it takes years, learning to love yourself is one of the most fulfilling things you can accomplish.

2. You’ll live an interesting life

While many adventures can be had with others, the ones that define who you are and influence your personal growth are those done solo. So many people seek to find the person that can support them with getting through higher education, going on vacations, starting a business, and so on that they forget how much they can do alone.

People who are difficult to love, on the other hand, are those who happily throw a backpack over their shoulder and board a plane to some uncharted destination without a second thought. This will come as a shock to those around you, but you’re mantra is, “This is my life,” and you’re going to live it as you may. However, this also makes it challenging for others to pin you down or follow (not that you want someone chasing you, anyway).

3. You’ll find true love when you least expect it

The last benefit about being difficult to love is that you don’t just settle for someone who “might” fit the bill. Because you have long stopped looking for love and worked on fostering a loving relationship with yourself, you create an opportunity for love to blossom when you least expect it. That will make the moment so much more sweet and memorable, because it will strike you like a bolt from the blue. Most importantly, it will be real.

Until that moment, though, you will take delight in doing what makes you happy, in following your heart, and living your passions. You will have a life full of amazing adventures, all the while sustaining yourself. The strength you gather from this will make you a better friend and romantic partner in the end. One day, you’ll become aware of the person who has stuck with you through it all, and you’ll realize that you’ve never been unlovable—it’s been a part of your life all along.

Love yourself, and your Self will love you back.