When Time Takes Its Own Route

Morning came across the bay area one late April. Chris awoke to sunlight creeping in on him through a space in the curtain. Exhausted after a night out with friends at the bar, Chris pulls out his wallet to make sure he didn’t go broke. There it is again. That picture of his high school girlfriend, Shiann. The huge curls of her brunette hair falling perfectly around her face and her blue eyes gleaming like little diamonds.

The picture was taken on their senior prom night. She was wearing a dark turquoise dress; sleeveless, knee height with black heels to go with it. Chris, standing with her, was wearing a black suit with a dark turquoise tie to match the color of Shiann’s dress. His shaggy, blond hair was shoulder length back then, but now he keeps it trimmed short.

For many nights he would dwell on the memories of her soft skin and gentle voice. Flashbacks filled his mind of that last summer they spent together before she went off to college. Days of walking along the shore of the beach, hand in hand while he imagined sliding a ring onto her thin finger.

Evening sunsets would fill the horizons. Her hair would blow in the wind while watching the crashing waves of the ocean. Engaged in deep conversations; slow-pace speaking made the moments last forever. They would talk about life and the future. They made plans to move away together out into the countryside.

When Shiann told Chris the news about being accepted to Arizona State University to start her nursing program, he was happy for her. One state away didn’t seem too far at first, but three years it feels like the distance has tripled as each year has gone by. From time to time he would wonder if she is coming back for him when she graduates, or if he is becoming a long-lost forgotten memory of her past.

The frequency of phone calls and texting has declined. Daily turned into monthly and lately it has only been special occasions; specifically holidays. Attempting to save a progressively fading relationship before falling off a steep cliff into the sea of brokenness, Chris grabs his phone out of his pocket to send a simple text, “Hey Shiann, call me when you get the chance.”

A couple of hours go by and the ringtone sounds. Chris grabs his phone and sure enough, it is Shiann. The two exchange words for a while just chatting and catching up. Chris talked about his job at the animal shelter and Shiann talked about her classes and how great college was going. The semester will be ending soon and she mentions a family barbeque at her parent’s house during the summer. It seemed only respectful enough to invite Chris over for the celebration so Shiann didn’t hesitate to include him.

Spring flew right by and the day had come. Chris slips on a dressy blue, gray and white plaid button-up shirt and begins to button it up; sliding each clear button through each little slit one by one till he reaches the last one, and then he straightens up the collar. Smiling at himself in the mirror with excitement built in his bright blue eyes while he combs his short blond hair and then heads for the door.

Swinging open the door of his forest green truck, Chris hops up on the black leather seats. The air freshener dangling from the rearview mirror radiates the pleasant smell of vanilla all throughout the cab of his truck. He starts it up; the engine revving loudly. The stereo blasting Guns and Roses as he pulls out. Sweet Child O’ Mine comes on and he begins to sing along…

“She's got a smile it seems to me

Reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything

Was as fresh as the bright blue sky”

He arrives at the house and walks up to the door. Shiann’s mother answers, welcoming him inside, “It's nice to see you again, Chris, everyone is out back.”

Inside always looked perfect with the glow of the polished wooden floors. The chandelier hanging from the kitchen ceiling sparkled and granite countertops shining as sunlight pours in through the window. Fresh apples, oranges, and bananas fill the fruit basket. White ceramic plates and bowls neatly set on shelves behind clear glass cupboard doors.

Chris walks out of the backdoor to join the celebration. A few white plastic tables set up and some white plastic chairs. Smoke surrounds everyone as Shiann’s father stands over the grill flipping hamburger patties. The aroma of barbeque food spreads across the yard.

“Shiann!” Chris called out at the first sight of her standing with a couple of girls, talking and laughing.

Her stylish blouse as white as the ceramic dishes in her mother’s kitchen cupboards and her curly hair pulled back into a messy bun. Shianne excitedly runs over to give him a hug, “I’m so happy you came. It’s been forever!”

Lost for words, Chris smiled and stared at Shiann’s beautiful face. Locked into her gleaming blue eyes like it has been an eternity, “I’ve missed you more than you could imagine,” he tells her.

Shiann looks away from Chris as a man walks over from one of the tables with a cup of fruit punch. He wore a black suit with a white button-up underneath. Best dressed would go to this guy if they were handing out awards right now, Chris enviously thought to himself. He reaches the general proximity and Shiann leans toward him for a kiss, “William, this is Chris, an old friend from high school.”

"Hello Chris," William confidently reached his hand out to give him a firm shake, "It's nice to meet you."

Chris shook his hand timidly as he made an attempt to initiate a conversation with the man who stole the love of life, "so... y- you in the nursing program too,” he asks.

William chuckles as he points out that he is currently finishing his doctorate's degree in medicine. Shiann reaches for the cup of fruit punch William hands to her. What Chris saw on her hand was more than a shock. He felt like he had been electrocuted with a hundred voltages. Wondering how he is still alive, he glares at the engagement ring on Shiann’s finger before announcing that he’s heading to the restroom for a moment.

After making his way to the bathroom he slowly shuts the white door behind him and twists the lock of the golden doorknob. He sinks to the floor in pure devastation. His heart began melting in his chest; burning inside like molten metal running through his veins. His entire world flipped upside down. All his future plans were crushed, viciously stomped out.

Sitting there on the bathroom floor feeling less than nothing, Chris realized there will be no more wondering, no more hoping, no more dreaming of a life with that same girl by his side ever again. Reality is clear now as Chris’s blue eyes fill with tears. The relationship that once was is over and can never again be rebuilt. The dream of slipping a ring onto her finger vanished before him as he sobbed alone in the bathroom.

Chris wanted nothing more than to sink beneath the ground until he reached the core of the Earth. He couldn’t stand the embarrassment so he left with no regards to say his goodbyes; not to Shiann, not to her parents, not to anyone at all. He sneaks out the front door and walks back to his truck.

The overpowering scent of vanilla does not dull the pain. He can wipe his crying eyes on his sleeves, but it does not stop this river from pouring out. He starts the engine and the stereo comes back on. November Rain by Guns and Roses begins to play.

“Nothin' lasts forever

And we both know hearts can change

And it's hard to hold a candle

In the cold November rain”

As he sits there in the driver’s seat, Chris pulls the prom picture out of his wallet. Gazing down at the beautiful girl that was once the love of his life, tears tumbling down his cheeks cause a smudge of the ink. “I have no choice but to move on,” he tells himself.

Allowing this moment to be the last time he ever dwells on this picture, he crumples it up and tosses it out the window of his truck. The little crumpled ball of what is nothing now but a broken memory fell to the ground. He drives off leaving Shiann and their past behind him.