Whatever doesn't defeat you, makes you stronger!

01

Yong Hui my former colleague, not long ago left the business and opened a theme restaurant. A few days ago, I was a little surprised to see him posting a status in his circle of friends that the new store was doing a lot of business and was busy. The day before, he also told me that because the dishes are not distinctive enough, the location is not a busy downtown, business is a little slow, and it is estimated that this month even keeping the capital is difficult.

"How come what you posted in your circle of friends is not the same as what you and I said?" I WeChat him.

Yong Hui quickly back to me. Said, their parents are also his WeChat friends. No matter how difficult business is, he doesn't want his parents to worry. Moreover, he was already working on improving the menu and hoped it would soon take off.

"Is it a sign of growth to report good news but not bad?" Yonghui asked me.

I was even more surprised. In my impression, Yonghui had always been mature, competent, and stalwart, doing things in a breeze, considering problems carefully and thoughtfully, and being unfailingly modest, so he was well-liked. Such a person, still need to grow.

Five years ago in the spring, he was 28 years old and in dire straits because of failed investments. Many people pointed out after hearing about it, saying that he was not business material at all. Soon after, the red light of marriage and his wife finished the divorce, he counted the tiles on the sidewalk under the sycamore tree all afternoon.

He thought about his life, 16 years old failed in the secondary school exams, 19 years old failed in the college entrance exams, 22 years old and his first girlfriend broke up, 28 years old investment failure, and then ended the marriage that he thought would grow old ...... so much worse, so he was afraid of frustration. So, he decided to run away.

The son, who was less than 3 years old, was thrown to his grandparents who were already old, and he fled to another city to find a job as an administrative assistant, often working overtime until one or two o'clock at night to return to the humble rental house.

Tired, he was not afraid; suffering, he was also not afraid. The only thing he did not dare to do is to face. Facing the storm of life, facing the treacherous life, facing the growth that can not refuse and can not shirk the responsibility.

02

From the age, twenty to thirty years old is not the age that can let people be capricious, but Yong Hui said, perhaps because of the previous bad, the character the shadow of inferiority lingered, his inner loneliness and weakness, look at the problem is very negative, dependence is extremely heavy, seems to think that not mature enough to support something independently, so the first reaction to encounter problems is to hide.

He was in anxiety, and depressed, and had nightmares every day during those days when he hid in another city as an administrative assistant. Although he was so busy during the day that his back ached, he would still lose sleep at night. He often sat by the window looking at the sky, dazed all night, or playing games all night, feeling lost, like a disoriented wind, like the clouds swaying haphazardly in the sky.

That year, on his birthday, he received a phone call from his father. The old man said, "We do not expect you to earn much money, but only hope that you are healthy and safe, and grow up to be a cross-eyed man.

The words "crossed swords and horses" brought tears to his eyes. He packed his bags and returned home in a few days.

After returning home, the days were extremely difficult, he had to take up the responsibility of being a son, taking care of both parents; while playing the role of a good father, getting up early to send the children to kindergarten, cooling down the temperature to urge the children to add clothes; while also working several jobs to save living expenses; at night, but also self-study college courses.

During that time, he sent out advertising leaflets on the street, rejected, cold eyes is a regular thing; he delivered a courier, no matter how cold it was outside, riding a motorcycle on the way out. Once, a customer who lived remote, got lost, and when he found the family out after delivery, he found that it was raining heavily, and there was no street light. He rode carefully, but finally fell into a puddle with his car ......

03

Yong Hui said that the hardships of those days were not only physical torture but also spiritual metamorphosis. To become independent from a person who is used to dependence and avoidance to be able to take responsibility for themselves and shelter for their families, that process is difficult and even full of pain, but you know well that there are always difficult situations that you need to face alone, not you hide, the situation will be better. Growth, after all, is something you can not refuse.

I asked Yong Hui, what is growth?

He said, in growth experiences, you have to go a long way, to suffer the wind and rain; growth is more sensitive, and those hardships are not for nothing. Just like making pasta, you have to work hard to knead the dough, but also to wake it up, add baking powder, let time to brew, to work. Then you will find that all those trials and hardships you have experienced end up becoming your life, making you stronger.

I also asked him, "What are the "crossed swords" and what is it?

He said you imagine a powerful man, riding a horse across the road, holding a war knife, daring to block the opponent's way. That is decisive and resolute, in the face of setbacks or undesirable states, the idea is not to retreat and escape, but to rise to the occasion, with the courage to call the opponent. That is also a kind of maturity and wisdom, to see the causes and consequences of events, can be a light-hearted attitude.

So, I understand, Yong Hui is still struggling towards his "cross-eyed" life goal, although not yet reached, he has long 5 years ago.

Everyone will inevitably be vulnerable at times, those who seem to be strong, just know how to turn vulnerability into power than we do. Those failures, those injuries, those grievances, those sufferings, can disturb our mood, can torment our body, but in the end, can not resist our efforts, can not erase our persistence, more can not take away our belief that we want to change. The saying is true, whatever doesn't defeat you will make you stronger!

So, since growth cannot be denied, when the storm comes, what are you afraid of? Just go for it!