What Working With the Elderly Taught Me About Humanity

Several years ago I found myself needing a purpose. I just wanted to feel like I was doing something good for the world. I decided to work at an elderly care facility because these people needed help. And like a cheesy movie I got more from them then they ever got from me. These are some life lessons that I learned from working with them.

People are Jerks for a Reason

Initially when I started working with the elderly most of them were pleasant. Some were not. They were more of the type of people that make you smile through gritted teeth. One day one of the nicest residents snapped at me. She could see my shock and she apologized. What she said is "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. I'm just in so much pain today." Gradually I started realizing that most of the residents that were difficult were in pain. People aren't jerks in a vacuum. Whether it's past trauma, mental illness, or even just physical pain most of the time it comes from a source.

A Lot of Trump Supporters are Good People

I'm pretty liberal and the average elderly care resident is not. If I listened to the average description of what a Trump supporter should be these people should be racist, sexist, hate the poor, and ignorant. However, most of these people were very hardworking and kind. They had built lives based on doing the right thing. They were kind and considerate to others, including the staff. Some did have echoes of some of the things that they were accused of, but most of them did not. It helped me realize that political caricatures are just that. Democrats don't go around hoping to kill babies, and Republicans don't want to torture illegal immigrants. When we talk we actually have more in common than we think.

People Can Thrive in Adversity

One thing that struck me while working with the elderly was how resilient so many of them were. I saw older ladies hunker down for Covid like it was a war. Many of them had been through wars. At the place I worked at most of the residents were alive in WWII. They knew that sometimes you have to hunker down and do what's right for the good of the country because sometimes we are all in this together.

Our Decisions Impact Others

All of our residents wore masks. As a high-risk group, it wasn't even something they questioned. It was a little hard for me to go from people I cared about that were terrified of the virus to people who refused to wear masks. I think the moment that really drove it home was when I had a resident get a visit from a grandchild that she had cared for when he was born. She was crying and he was crying because his mamma couldn't let him go hug his gramma. That two-year-old fought with all his might because he didn't understand anything except he wanted to hug his grandma. Choices we make about social security, the environment, and everything else impact more than just ourselves.

Companionship is Important

Over and over again the residents that thrived were the residents who had relationships. It didn't matter if they were old relationships or new ones formed in the facility. Having people who cared about you and more important having people to care about was incredibly important.

The Choices I Make Now Impact My Future

I think the most disorienting thing was seeing the results of past choices come to fruition. I could see what eating healthy looked like in old age. Or eating unhealthy. I could see the loss of range in motion from not using it. I could see the results of smart decision-making when it came to money. When we see our choices we only see a fraction of the impact it's going to make in our lives. Seeing the results of choices led to me making more holistic choices in my health and relationships. Balance matters.

There are probably dozens more things I learned from working with the elderly. I think the biggest lesson I learned is how easy it is to love others. I don't think that's a lesson you get necessarily from the elderly. I think it's one you get by going out and caring for others.