What to Do if Someone Invades Your Personal Space

I was at the salon waiting for my stylist to finish up her client, when the receptionist came over to ask me something. I don’t even remember what the question was now, but I do remember how close she got. It was like the woman was in my face…Not in a mean way. I am sure she meant no harm. Still, I felt uncomfortable.

Luckily the exchange was brief so I didn’t have to figure out an exit plan. But what do you do if someone invades your space and doesn’t leave?

If you take an ovbious step back, you could make the situation even more awkward. Still, if you are feeling uncomfortable, you don’t want to remain in that environment.

Maybe the option would be to creep back slowly before the person even knows what’s happening.

In this Reddit thread, the OP constantly has to deal with the behavior when she is shopping at thrift stores. People invade her space to look at what she is perusing. Some even move her shopping cart in order to get closer.

When this woman addresses the situation head on and tells people they are getting too close, often the fellow shoppers will get defensive and even double down.

One commenter had a good idea:

“The only thing that’s worked for me is leaving the area and going to an emptier aisle so I can have my space. It might lead to missing out on some items but oh well. People invading my space really bothers me too.”

I agree, but still, you shouldn’t have to abandon the aisle just to get away from people. I mean, you will forever be chased by other customers.

Of course you could always simply say, “Excuse me, I need a little more room.” And people will likely oblige.

What about the person who is invading your space as a means of control?

In this article communication coach, Rachel Beohm emphasises how important it is to set boundaries:

“Space and touch nonverbally communicate boundaries and territory. When you touch someone, you are saying, “We belong together” or even “You belong to me.” This creates super warm and fuzzy feelings when the person wants to feel a sense of belonging or when the feeling is mutual: “I belong to you and you belong to me.” This is why, for example, teens become less interested in affection from their parents as they gain a sense of independence, but can get exceedingly touchy-feely with their friends—they want to belong. Close proximity and touch, in a safe environment, can be an incredible bonding agent. Without safety, however, it creates bad feelings that can take ages to overcome.”

Beohm adds that you should realize it is this person’s problem, not yours. Still, she says you should take a step back immediately and if they continue to advance toward you, hold up your hand (to indicate stop) and even get behind a desk or table as a proactive solution.

I go so far as to not shake someone’s hand if they reach out. (I’m a germaphobe.) I’ll say something like, “Oh, I may be coming down with a cold. Don’t want to get you sick.” Because that could always be true!

And if someone starts to hug me, I step back and utter the same response. I feel like I would fit in really well in Europe where they don’t hug every single person they meet.

How did that become a custom in this country? Sure, we want to come across as friendly. I get it. But we have to draw the line. I’ve drawn it for myself anyway.