What Nobody Ever Told Me About Love

Growing up in the poster-household for normalcy and the average nuclear family, I was exposed to a typical four member family for all of my life. I was not faced with adversity, and I was pretty privileged in that, if I do say so myself. It was because of this type of family that raised me that I believe in people too much, and I fall too hard. These do not always sound like bad qualities, but when it came to a boy who took advantage of my naïve heart and over-forgiving personality, I was forced to wake up from this sunshine and rainbows mentality that had dominated my life for so long. It was because of this disloyal, manipulative, conniving boy that I learned most of what I learned about love. These are the things that nobody told me:

1. If you hurt someone, an apology followed by a repetition of the act means nothing at all.

It is one thing to make a mistake and apologize deeply, but you cannot truly be sorry if you repeat the act, this time knowing the pain that it can incur.

2. There is no place for hatred in love.

Anger exists, without a doubt, for your significant other will make you mad on countless occasions. Hatred, however, does not live in a stable relationship. Hateful comments and jabs that you know will cause a crack in the heart of your S.O. can never be attributed to love. Love is kind.

3. Love amplifies happiness; it does not cause it.

If the only way happiness is achieved is through another person, the root of dissatisfaction is much deeper than previously believed. Happiness must be achieved within oneself before a healthy relationship can occur. Dependence on another will cause far too much instability in not only your mood, but your health.

4. Your friends are probably right.

Typically, your friends are looking out for your wellbeing more than anyone, especially when you can't find any faults in this new person. If your friends find a red flag, pursue it, because they want you to be happier than just about anyone.

5. Be lovestruck, but not blind.

It is great to be in love! Love is exciting and one of the best feelings in the world. However, you must always remain aware. Signs of potential danger or unhappiness cannot be ignored, for they will often bubble up to be much bigger than originally thought.

6. Do not be afraid.

Love is scary, but if you set up barriers, you are in just as much danger as if you do not have any. How is anybody supposed to fall in true love when they cannot even tell who the real YOU is?

7. Love takes compromise.

No healthy relationship is dominated by only one individual. While it may be funny on social media posts where one person is submissive to the other, that is not realistic at all. Relationships are give and take—both physically and emotionally.

8. A healthy relationship does not always mean one present on social media.

Did you know that relationships did used to survive before social media existed? That's right, because a relationship should not be centered about who posts about who more or what the other person likes on Twitter. Relationships are between two people, and if they are not present on social media, there is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping it private!