What It Means When You Hate a Celebrity
Is hate a mirror?
We all have celebrities we hate. Perhaps hate is a strong word, but these individuals make your skin crawl, you can't watch them in films, you can't listen to their music, you can't hear them talking. It's as if you have an allergy to them.
Well, here's the bad news. You don’t hate that celebrity, you don't even know them. What you hate is something you perceive to be in them that you worry is in you.
You see the celebrity and in them, you spot a weakness, narcissism, selfishness, perhaps you see their big nose or a skinny body, their crooked teeth or weighty thighs. You see something you don't like, and it touches a nerve because deep down you worry that's you too. They are out there representing what you don't want to face in yourself.
How dare they walk around famous and happy with this giant flaw being waved in front of the public and not be ashamed? You hate it about yourself, they should hate it about themselves. Come on, play by the rules.
Hate is a mirror
Hate projects itself out of us like a ventriloquist's voice and it lands on the nearest thing. This allows us to loathe the part of us we despise, without hating ourselves. We can push these feelings onto others, sort their shit out, address their problems, and leave ours well alone.
I went to see a motivational speaker one time. This room wasn’t filled with thousands of adoring fans, pumping music and strobe lighting, rather it was a little community hall in Islington with about 50 people present.
The speaker was Chris Paradox. Look him up. He’s great. He left a £70k a year advertising job to be homeless out of choice. He literally abandoned everything in a spiritual breakdown. Or perhaps, spiritual awakening.
He talked a lot about many things, but the one that stuck with me was this celebrity hate idea. He came up with it, not me.
When he told us to think of a celebrity we hate, I thought of David Tennent; skinny, boyish, loud, annoying, un-masculine. Oh yes, all things I worry are my traits.
So what is it you don’t like about this person for no reason? Chances are it’s what you don’t like about yourself.
“Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.” – Cherie Carter-Scott
So what are we to do with this information? Hate is a negative emotion that hurts you as much as it hurts someone else. Or, in the case of a celebrity, they don't even know you exist, and you're left with these feelings of anger impacting your life. As Buddha said:
"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." – Buddha
Luckily, there is a way out. You don't have to drink poison. The first step to better mental health is awareness (followed by acceptance and then action to fix the problem). And you should want to fix the problem because the chances are, it's stopping you from being happy and reaching your potential.
In his article 'Why What I Hate in You Also Says Something about Me', Josh Gressel PhD writes about a solution in the form of "owning our projections." He writes:
"This simply means we become conscious of this process, and in so doing we project less onto others and understand more about ourselves... in recognising that I have feelings of anger and hostility I have the possibility to do something about these feelings. I can take control of the only person or situation I possibly can control—myself."
Jealousy is a signpost. Hate is a signpost. All negative input is merely signposts, pointing to problems that need to be addressed. It's not just our hate that is a mirror, the whole world, our whole narrative is a mirror.
As self-help and spiritual author Neville Goddard noted:
“The world is a mirror, forever reflecting what you are doing, within yourself.” – Neville Goddard
Healthy people aren't free from negative emotions, but they are aware of them, and use them to heal. It's not easy, but it starts with recognising the signs you're being given. Remember, awareness, acceptance, action. Take the steps. Do it again. Over and over. It's all information to help you grow. It's OK to succumb to jealousy or hate if you use them for good. That's the point, after all.
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