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What Is an INTJ Relationship?

by Dr. Ethan Levi 4 years ago in dating

You might be an INTJ (or dating one) and not even know it. So what is an INTJ relationship? Get ready to have your personality tested.

Don't let the all caps scare you. INTJ is just an acronym for a certain personality type: Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging. It is a personality description that is based on something called the Myers-Briggs test; think of it like reading up on your zodiac sign. So what are INTJs like and what is an INTJ relationship?

What is the Myers-Briggs test?

The Myers-Briggs test is a way of evaluating and understanding personalities based on a series of questions. The test determines, based on how you would react to certain scenarios, environments, and people, what kind of personality type you are. Companies have long used the Myers-Briggs test when searching for appropriate candidates to get a sense of how they would fit into the business.

However, knowing your Myers-Briggs personality type isn't just useful in the working world—it can help you learn about yourself and others.

What are the various personality types?

If you don't know your Myers-Briggs type, you can take the test online. There are 16 different personality types, and they all rely on some kind of combination of eight letters or main characteristics. Basically, it's a giant game of "this or that." For example, are you extroverted or introverted? Do you judge people or are you more openminded? Are you logical or emotional?

If you're an ESTP—Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving—then you're outgoing, adventurous, adaptable, and resourceful. If you're an ENFJ—Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging—you're a compassionate dreamer who can communicate well with others. So then what is an INTJ relationship? First, you need to understand what an INTJ is.

What are INTJs like?

An INTJ personality type is Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging. People with this personality type tend to be powered more by logic and reason than emotion. They are independent thinkers who generally stop at nothing to achieve their goals. Because of this, they also have very high standards for success.

Which personality types are best for an INTJ?

INTJs are said to be most compatible with ENTP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) and ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) personality types. These types are generally believed to be best for each other because they are both opposite and same enough to work.

INTJs need someone who can balance their social skills (or lack thereof) and someone who can relate to them. ENFPs are a great match for INTJs because they're extroverted and sensitive—two traits that INTJs tend to lack. So really, the question isn't "what is an INTJ relationship" but "what can INTJs bring to the table?"

Can two INTJs make a successful couple?


Sorry, but if two INTJs dated each other, it would be the most awkward, argumentative, and cold relationship. This doesn't mean that INTJs are bad people. Like everyone else, they need to date someone who compliments them and balances them. INTJs need someone who can draw them out of their shell and increase their emotional intelligence.

What are the benefits of being in a relationship with an INTJ?

What is an INTJ relationship? Well, INTJs depend mostly on logic and reason, which means that they will be able to think clearly when you can't. This is important in a relationship, because two overly-emotional people would just be a ticking time bomb.

INTJs are also very honest people (if sometimes to a fault), so you'll likely be able to maintain open communication with one. In a romantic relationship, communication is everything!

Introverts also have a grounding effect on extroverts. When you're being a little too much, an INTJ will let you know when to dial it back. Basically, they won't let you get away with being too full of yourself.

What are the drawbacks of being in a relationship with an INTJ?

INTJs can have a difficult time maintaining healthy relationships if they let their flaws take the reigns. (But really, the same can be said of any of the Myers-Briggs personality types.) For example, they may let themselves get too distant when you require intimacy. They also might hold you up to their own high standards, and be upset when you don't always meet them.

An INTJ's biggest potential flaws are insensitivity and condescension. They don't necessarily mean to be that way, but it can cause problems in romantic relationships nonetheless. Basically, an unchecked INTJ has an aptitude for making other people feel stupid.

What are an INTJ's priorities?

The answer to "what is an INTJ relationship like" has a lot to do with their priorities. Whatever they do, INTJs want to do the best they possibly can. Their thinking nature makes them great strategists, so when they have a goal in mind, they will make sure they lay out the groundwork to achieve it.

In a relationship, this is a great quality to have because it means they will be dedicated to you. If there is a problem, they will try hard to find a way to fix it. They don't want to feel like they've failed you or themselves. Having a hard worker like an INTJ around means that you can always be confident that they are doing everything they can for you; they won't be irresponsible.

Should you use the Myers-Briggs test as a guide for your love life?

You should never base your own life choices entirely off of any one particular method. The Myers-Briggs test is one of many personality tests and typifications, and in the end, you need to learn to figure out your love life for yourself.

While many people now believe that tests like the Myers-Briggs are invalid and unreliable, others still stand by its usefulness. So instead of using this as a strict guide, think of it more in terms of generalities. Ask yourself, is an extroverted person right for you? Would a highly logical person suit your needs?

What is the importance of synergy?

As previously mentioned, many business have relied on the Myers-Briggs test to determine who would best fill a certain position within the company. The general idea is based on the principle and desired outcome of synergy, or the best possible collaboration between people for the best possible results.

The same idea can be applied to romantic relationships. Healthy relationships require two people who come together to make an even better team. They bring the best out of each other. So what is an INTJ relationship, really? It's whatever you make it.

Dr. Ethan Levi
Dr. Ethan Levi
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Dr. Ethan Levi

He is a published writer with a doctorate in philosophy who challenges literally everything and everyone. Dr. Levi strongly identifies with punk music and despises elitism. He has an affinity for flannel.

See all posts by Dr. Ethan Levi

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